QI Watchdown: B2 (Birds)

After a very nice debut, I felt the need to go for a second episode tonight. This is bound to be a good one, as it features not only Jo but Rich Hall, whose cragginess usually amounts to a very nice episode, and Phil Kay, who is a newbie.

Rich is not wearing a poker jacket this show, but rather a semi-plaid jacket. He’s a little more formal tonight.

Phil Kay looks generally odd. I can’t say I’ve heard of him, but I know that he’s Scottish and I know he has some very nice facial hair. That is about it. I hope he has a lot to contribute tonight.

Tonight’s episode-long task is for each player to draw a kiwi. I predict that someone’s just gonna draw the fruit rather than the animal.

Already we have a great moment, with Alan doing his impression of a Kiwi moseying around, with a great facial expression.

Stephen’s recollection of a novel that had the line “left cock in” leads Alan to exclaim “well that implies that you’ve got a left cock and a right cock.” Alan proceeds to lead the panel in a retooled version of the Hokey Pokey. “Left cock in, right cock out…”

Okay, Alan has another great line about the placement of the Kiwi’s nostrils- “Imagine if the nostrils were right above the anus.” Just the absurdity of it all.

The buzzers are all bird noises. Rich manages to get a reaction out of him. Phil pulls a fast one on Stephen by feigning a bird noise, and pretending it’s his buzzer. When the actual buzzer sound turns out to be remarkably similar, Phil does an astonished double take, and that had me laughing.

Phil’s accent evokes memories of Frankie Boyle. Sadly, I’m not sure if Phil’s gonna make jokes about Kerry Katona.

Alan’s buzzer isn’t even a bird sound, it’s just a musical ‘fruity’ theme song, which amuses him.

Rich has his first great line of the episode: “If Seigfried and Roy started working with ostriches instead of big cats, they’d probably still be working today.”

Wait…how the hell is there a fact that RICH knows…and I KNOW…and Stephen DOES NOT KNOW??? I knew about Johnny Cash’s attack with an ostrich, from a Cracked article, and it’s shocking to me that Stephen didn’t know this.

Rich will continue his plot to get points by being interesting (and inexplicable). “You know that in some countries linoleum is used as a form of currency?”

Okay, NOW Rich has my full, unadulterated respect. Stephen asks him how he’d french kiss a woodpecker, and Rich gives him a series of interesting, funny, practical ways to seduce a woodpecker. Then, right after that, he, without skipping a beat, goes ‘then maybe give it a date-rape drug’. It takes a lot of training to go from a Bill Bailey kind of joke STRAIGHT TO A FRANKIE BOYLE KIND OF JOKE! I give Rich a thousand points for that one.

Stephen ends a factoid about the woodpecker’s tongue by saying “but if a pecker’s got wood, then why go for tongue, you may ask…” The best part of this is Alan’s frightened reaction to this joke.

Damn, those QI elves think of everything. Stephen says that skin is the largest organ in the body. Alan goes “It may be in your body. I’ve got a huge cock!” Suddenly, the Klaxon goes off, and the screen flashes “SPEAK FOR YOURSELF”. THAT made me laugh hard.

The best kind of unfortunate phrasing; Stephen spoke of the siamese twins getting into an argument, and saying ‘someone on board had to separate- no, placate them.”

The return of the Blue Whale gag! It’s only been a few episodes, anyway.

I love how Alan just went “pppptthhhhhhhbbtpp” before answering the ‘lightning’ question, like a ‘here goes nothing’ kind of thing.

Stephen: “Where do camels come from?”
Phil hasn’t done a lot this episode, but that made me laugh.

Alan has a nice way of making Stephen think he’s telling the truth, only to go ‘no, that’s rubbish.’ Says a lot about his personality.

Rich’s drawing was very clever, instead detailing the assembly instructions for a kiwi. Again, you have to love the way this guy thinks.

Alan seems as shocked as I was when he found out that he got his Kiwi drawing absolutely right.

How did Rich end up winning? This was a very odd episode.

Final Thoughts: Not a great episode, but not without its moments. Phil was quiet but had some really nice jokes. Rich and Jo were more reserved than usual. Alan was doing a lot of the heavy joke lifting here.

MVP: Alan
Best Guest: Rich
Show Winner: Rich
Best QI Fact: The siamese twins.


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