QI Watchdown: B4 (Bible)

After a few days’ rest, I come back to my QI Watchdown to find that this episode will be our first Jeremy Clarkson episode. A lot of people have a lot of opinions about Clarkson, so the fact that he appears on this program quite a bit won’t be helping any of them. Our other two are Barry Cryer and Jeremy Hardy, someone who I’ve never heard of, and someone who is funny, but I’m not sure if he can hold an episode.

At least we’ll have Alan.

Barry, again, I’ve not heard of, but apparently he’s a well-traveled comedy writer. I’m not sure if that means he’ll be good for this show or not, but I guess we’re gonna find out.

Jeremy Hardy is funny, but he’s gonna have to do a lot of the heavy lifting in this one I think, which is hard.

Jeremy Clarkson…he’s not said a word and I already dislike him. Again, people have a lot of opinions about him, especially after this recent scandal, but I’m trying to view him with an open mind. It’s very difficult though.

Buzzers seem to be random this episode. Jeremy H’s throws him for a loop. Jeremy C thinks Barry stole his (a car starting), but rescinds this when he actually hears his own (a car crashing). Alan’s is good, because the car doesn’t even work.

Barry, on the Bear from Hercules: ‘He mauled a television presenter…”
Alan: “AND HE’S HERE TONIGHT!”
I was laughing HARD at that one. Off to a nice start.

Stephen: “You don’t see many American Jeremy’s, do you?”
Clarkson: “It’s too complicated. Three syllables.”
AAAAAAAAND fuck Jeremy.

Barry is funny, but he seems to lean a lot towards the ‘information’ part of this show, which isn’t always the best sign.

Alan: “There was a time when there were only prostitutes and ventriloquists kicking around”
Alan is doing a great job of lifting the spirits. Jeremy Hardy, who hasn’t said much, is not.

Clarkson seems the type of person who was put on the show against his will, judging by his demeanor, like a Hugh Laurie type. Sure, he’ll crack a few jokes and say some stuff, but he looks kind of miserable. You wouldn’t think he’d be on the show about 20 more times.

Clarkson: “I went into a brothel, on Saturday-”
Stephen (internally not approving): “You heard it here first, folks.”

Aww, Barry gets the first klaxon of the episode. Sad, too, because I was really liking him.

I’m not laughing at any of Clarkson’s jokes, mainly because I don’t get any of them, because I’m American. And I’d love to be laughing at Hardy’s jokes BUT HE ISN’T FUCKING MAKING ANY!!

Okay, Jeremy eventually makes a joke, at the expense of Alan’s botched Ozzy impression. He says “No, that was Jimmy Savile.” A shame we don’t have Hugh Dennis to do the impression of him. Though, to be fair, Jeremy H’s is not bad.

Jeremy has another one with the camel question: ‘A camel is the only one you can’t fit down your trousers.”

This episode is rather slow, but it does have a few surprise punches. In describing the Roadkill Cafe, Stephen says that anything your car has hit, they’ll bring it in and cook it, and he starts naming animals they’ve cooked. Alan interjects with ‘an old lady’. Well done. He’s gonna waltz to the MVP.

Alan: ‘Andropov died on the toilet!’
Jeremy H (annoyed) “No, that was Elvis!’

Stephen has a nice segue into GI, putting a photoshopped picture of Alan in a navy uniform in there. Alan says ‘is that me?’, and Stephen replies, ‘it’s General Ignorance’. A nice pun, and a nice slam.

Man, I barely got anything from GI. Just one penis joke from Alan.

Clarkson wins. Of course.

Final Thoughts: MAN this was a weak episode. You could tell the dynamic between the four was not strong, and only Alan was putting up funny material. Barry and Jeremy C didn’t do a whole hell of a lot to add to anything.

MVP: Alan
Best Guest: Hardy
Show Winner: Clarkson
Best QI Fact: Grasshoppers

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