Well, to quote Michael Scott, this is gonna hurt like a motherfucker.
This is the second of two consecutive John Sessions episodes, and the second of two Phil Kay episodes. So, there may not be a ton of funny going on tonight. However, this is a Clive Anderson episode, and he’s usually very creative with his answers, so it could theoretically be okay. I guess we’ll have to find out.
Phil’s hair is even more out of sorts than it was earlier this season.
This episode’s runner is for each guy to draw a wigwam in the style of a famous artist, which reminds me of a skewed version of the old Whose Line game, authors. Maybe he’s just doing this to stick it to John Sessions.
The buzzers are a little more interesting. Phil’s is a chirpy ringtone that seems to amuse him. John’s is probably the best, as it sums up John on the show- an annoying child yelling “OOH! I KNOW! SIR! I KNOW!” Even John gets a laugh out of this one. Alan’s is a flushing toilet.
John is basically ringing his buzzer just to annoy everybody, and it changes slightly to a different, yet still childish, “SIR! I KNOW SIR!”
Clive and his wordplay strike again:
Stephen: What is bottomry?
Clive: ‘It’s the opposite of topiary.”
Okay, I’m a John hater, but I even laughed at his guess that bottomry is “a website for all Japanese men who are crazy about Virginia Bottomley.” It’s a bit racist, but I laughed.
If you could sum up John Sessions in one single quote, it would be this one: “I, uh, I don’t actually know the answer to this one, BUT WHAT I DO KNOW…”
7 minutes in and Phil’s not done a hell of a lot. Like last time, he’s taking his sweet time, letting Clive and John have the floor. Come to think of it…not a whole lot of ALAN thus far either. Which is odd, because he’s always talking.
Of course, literally after that, he interrupts the bison conversation to say ‘my wigwam is fucking huge…”
I did enjoy them all conversing about the bison stampeding over the cliff. Phil made me laugh in saying ‘I mean, if you’re a buffalo, there’s that moment, like ‘when’s the stampede over?’ Like, you’re stampeding, you’re stampeding…then you’re not stampeding.” Clive goes “well, when you hit the ground at the end of the cliff, you know you’re not stampeding anymore.”
Clive is very silly in these, and I love that. When Stephen asks what Sitting Bull’s real name was, Clive guesses ‘bison’, because “it worked for the last one.”
Okay, you know you’re in for a good one when even the reactions are making you laugh. Stephen’s trying to explain that bulls really can sit, by mentioning Ferdinand the Bull. For a good five seconds after that, Alan has this absolutely baffled facial expression, and the camera lingers on it.
Stephen: What does Billy the Kid have in common with Ben Hur?
Phil: Capital B.
Okay, the Ben Hur argument is classic, because it’s Stephen yelling at Alan because of Alan’s lack of knowledge of something. Alan says that Ben Hur is just a book about a chariot race, and Stephen just starts yelling at him. Even better is Alan’s perturbed, confused, and slightly amused reaction. He’s just trying not to crack up, but he’s been caught off guard by the whole thing.
Okay, the Elves got John Sessions GOOD on this one. John starts telling a story about having supper with Robert Redford, and he’s interrupted by a special klaxon, called the ‘Luvvie Alarm’, that’s a forfeit for John whenever he brings up a random celebrity he’s got a hardon for.
Upon revealing that the Sundance Kid was in fact Welsh, both Phil and John both start doing Welsh accents doing Western lines.
The conversation about throwing cats out the window got very funny very fast. Clive asking if any other animals were tested, and Alan asking if they did it with cows, and then doing an impression of a cow being pushed out a window.
Clive sadly gets a Klaxon for guessing oxygen. The funny thing is that, besides John’s Luvvie Alarm, it’s the first Klaxon of the show.
Also, right after guessing ‘oxygen’, Clive guesses ‘jam’, which either means he was channeling Eddie Izzard, or there was an asteroid full of it headed straight for the planet earth.
Alan dons an italian accent for the Mt. Vesuvius joke, but it’s not as good as his Mexican (“DE PEENK POLENTAAAA!”)
John: “Didn’t the Finetians go the same way?”
Clive: “It’s a volcano! We’re fin-eeshed.
That was a great pun.
Alan’s Mexican accent somehow returns for the Gladiator joke (“HEY GLADIATAAAAH! EET’S OVAH FOR YOOOOU!”)
Another line that sums up all of QI, comes from Clive: “Alan, even I can work out that if you know the answer, never give it, because there’s always…that’s the one they’re hoping we’ll say!”
Okay, I laughed way harder than I should have at Clive saying the ‘Vietmin’ in a cheesy, munchkin-like voice.
Clive ends the episode with a great pun. Instead of drawing a wigwam, he draws a ‘Wham Wigs’, which is George Michael and Andrew Ridgley wearing wigs. Very clever.
I love how Clive won by one point. Like, everybody else had negative numbers that must have been cut out.
Final Thoughts: I didn’t think I’d like this episode as much as I did. A lot of nice moments, thanks to Clive and Alan being on top of their game. People usually flock to this one for the Ben Hur argument, but there are a lot of funny moments, and a lot of great puns. Again, John was manageable here.
Best Guest: Clive
Show Winner: Clive
Best QI Fact: Buffalo= Bison.