QI Watchdown: D3 (Dogs)

Well, this is an…interesting one. I’ve said before that I’m not fond of Jeremy Clarkson, so making him the comedic focal point of the episode is an odd choice. At least give him a Bill, or a Sean or somebody to balance things out. But, we’ve got Jeremy and two newcomers. One I’ve heard of, one I haven’t. This could go either way.

Neil Mullarkey is a familiar name to me, because he appeared on one or two episodes of the UK Whose Line, and he also appeared in the 24 Hour Panel People relaunch of Whose Line, which he was an odd choice for, but I admired the selection. I also know he was in a couple of the Austin Powers movies (“we need…a urine sample.”) I don’t remember if he was too funny or not though.

Liza Tarbuck I’ve not heard of. She’s on a few QI’s, unlike Neil, who’s on just this one. I guess I’ll find out about how funny she is tonight.

Not too many buzzer highlights, except for Jeremy’s, which is a rather vicious dog, that keeps barking as the camera tries to cut away.

Alan is out and ready right out of the gates. Liza brings up the fact that dogs can cross breed with just about anybody, like a chihuahua with a great dane. Alan goes “that’s a nice image. You’d need a step-ladder…or a ditch.”

Jeremy tries to make a similar point against fish: “you can’t mate a shark with a guppy”. Alan, reprising the joke, goes “you’d need a stepladder or a ditch.”

All four are given dogs, and are asked to demonstrate how they mate. Neil takes the literal approach, and has one say to the other ‘nice party, isn’t it?’ Jeremy’s demonstration of his dog humping made me laugh.

Alan is given a small sized dog, and a gigantic dog that takes up most of the desk, and tries to get them both to screw, which is rather amusing.

The funniest part is while Jeremy is talking to Stephen, Alan still has his sheepdog, and keeps talking to it as if it’s real, putting on a show for everyone else, which is so Alan.

Liza: “What’s your stance on dogs having clothes on?”
Stephen: “Oh, fuck off…”

Jeremy uses the ‘what’s the most interesting thing a dog can smell’, to say ‘MY CROTCH!” And he just sits there for a moment, shrugging. Then, of course, the “BOLLOCKS” klaxon comes in. I like how they timed a pause, so Jeremy could feel good about himself for a moment.

By the time Jeremy mentions crotch-sniffing for the third time, somebody finally has a comeback. Jeremy responds to something by saying ‘you can smell my crotch’, to which Neil replies ‘we all can.’

Alan (in response to the ‘german bite’ question) “They never bark when they’re gonna attack you. It’s when they go quiet, that’s when you have to worry.”
Stephen: “Germans?”

Alan saying ‘and now…the chicken forecast’ made me laugh very, very hard. I don’t really know why.

Stephen plays the clips of the whistling Canary Islands language. Neil makes a note ‘the one thing I notice…although it’s in spanish, he does have a liverpool accent.”

When asked what ‘oriolus oriolus’ means in english, Jeremy says ‘the outside of a nipple.’

It was pretty diabolical for Stephen to have a bunch of obvious latin names, and then throw a false cognate in there as puffinous puffinous. Poor Jeremy.

The funniest part of Neil’s win is that he does it with a negative score.

Overall: Bit of a blah episode. Some funny moments, like Alan and the dog, and some great performances, like Neil (sad we won’t be seeing him again), but not a lot of cohesive laughter.

MVP: Alan
Best Guest: Neil
Show Winner: Neil
Best QI Fact: The lethal seeing-eye dog at the end.


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