QI Watchdown: D12 (Domesticity)

After a string of bad episodes permeated by a clever Phill one, we’ve reached our last Phill episode of the series. This one also features the first of two Jo appearances, and an appearance from someone I didn’t think I’d see on QI.

Jessica Stevenson, best known for being on Spaced, and being BFFs with Simon Pegg, is a panelist here. I relate this to Mark Gattiss showing up, as I really don’t know why they’re here, but it’s nice to have them. This counts as a special guest spot, like Gattiss.

All four buzzers are sounds of household appliances, except for Alan’s, which is just the Match of the Day theme song.

Jo’s first great line of the episode gets me back on her side:
Stephen: “What use did Ray Davies have for 100,000 gallons of dry cleaning fluid?”
Jo: “Had the Kinks run out of crack?”

Phill has a great moment when they show the picture of the other, non-Kink Ray Davies, and he goes “OOOOHHHHH…RAY *DAVIES*”, as if he had the wrong one all along.

Stephen: “But, he has one thing, for which he’s in the Guinness Book of Records..”
Phill: “Biggest Penis in Physics!”
Stephen (nearly keeling over): “oh, dear..”

The thing about Jessica, is that she’s not exactly contributing jokes, but she’s still playing the game. Like, she gets a bit confused by the Ray Davies question, and has to get Stephen to repeat some parts, and she does get some points. She does have personality, but doesn’t go out of her way to tell jokes.

Stephen: “They had the world’s first Ferris Wheel, designed by George…”
Jo: “Clooney.”

Stephen asks what the 2nd-largest cause of death for women was from
Jo: “Is it dehydration from having to lick the carpets clean because the Hoover hadn’t been invented yet?”
Love her or hate her, Jo is having a very nice episode so far.

Phill: “Were these deaths at night? Because I could go with owls.”
Stephen: ‘It’s not a bird of prey.”
Phill: “Not even swans? Swans, flying at women, really…hard, with stiff necks, until they went through their bodies like a javelin.”

Stephen: “What’s a good way to create the impression that you’ve cleaned the house when you actually haven’t?”
Jo: “Lock the door and kill everyone.”
and
“Drink some lavender water and have a piss?”

I’ll say that while Phill is doing the usual amount of board control, Jo is having a great night in terms of jokes hitting. She’s going for darker material, and commanding a lot of the narrative, while Phill’s doing more ‘adding’ jokes. This is a new kind of tactic.

Alan’s gag of testing the spaghetti by throwing it against random walls in the house, especially going ‘CAN I COME IN’ miming throwing spaghetti, and saying ‘your dinner’s ready.” Too funny.

Stephen: “What would you clean with A.) A stick of rhubarb-”
Phill: “A dog’s arse. Next!”

This episode is a great ‘Phill loses it because Stephen is too posh’ one. The whole thing with the tea kettle, where Phill goes “WHO OWNS A TEA KETTLE LIKE THAT? BESIDES YOU!” And it leads to Phill, as Stephen, doing an advert for HP cleaning the silver, going “BAAAAHHH!”

Alan: “All doors are 78 inches long.”
Jo: “How d’you know that?”
Alan: “…bought a door recently…”

Phill manages to pull of a really, really good Hugh Laurie impression, after Stephen tells of Higson and Whitehouse working on their hinges, he goes, as Laurie, ‘STEPHEN, THE FELLAS IN THA KITCHEN ARE AWF’LEY FUNNEY!”, nailing the inflections perfectly. “What’d you say we, uh…listen in on ’em, n….make a few jokes?” And, of course, he throws in a “BAAAAHHH!”

After Stephen talks of the juice at the bottom of the baked beans can, Phill, rolling his eyes, goes “SO…BRAINIAC, WHAT CAN WE CLEAN WITH THAT?”

The whole diatribe Phill and Alan have about the fellow who was caught with baked beans on his crotch was priceless. Phill going “What kind of culinary accident do you have to have…to discover the pleasure of the beans…”, and then Alan going “He spilled it in his lap, he went ‘AWWWW…oooh…”

Jessica wins, but she had a rather quiet show.

Overall: A fairly decent show. Had its moments, but there was a giant gap in the studio where Jessica should have been. Not a great QI presence…sort of like Mark Gattiss. At least Jo, Phill and Alan were all on point, especially Phill, in his most argumentative mood in a while.

MVP: Phill
Best Guest: Jo
Show Winner: Jessica
Best QI Fact: Throwing spaghetti at the wall.

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