QI Watchdown: E8 (Eyes & Ears)

Tonight’s episode features one of the many ‘perfect panels’ featured this season. Three people that are funny enough on their own, but together, might lead to a truly classic QI. Phill Jupitus, obviously, and Jimmy Carr are two definite standouts, and the funny thing is they haven’t done a hell of a lot when they’re on the same panel. David Mitchell I think can help gell them together.

Tonight’s buzzers are all ‘eyes’. Phill’s is ‘Aye, aye, sir.”, which gives him a smile. David’s is ‘eyes to the right.’ Jimmy’s is a louder ‘Aye, Sir’, I think. Alan’s is the ‘I-I-I-I-I-I LIKE YOU VEEEEWY MUCH’ theme they like to lampoon Alan with. I don’t know where it’s from.

Stephen: “What would you use one of these for?”
Jimmy: “What would I use it for, or what is it meant for?”

David: “If you ever try to get the eye out of a fish, and it blinks, it may be a lion.”
David is very good at supplementing his own jokes, but this is the perfect panel for him to work with other people.

Phill, holding up the gizmo in question: “Is this the Albanian Army Knife?”

Great moment from Stephen. They’re still talking about the earwax scooper, and Phill is saying ‘the only difficult part is where to put the earwax.’ Stephen, keeping a charming facial expression, goes “yes, cause unlike snot, it doesn’t taste nice!” And immediately covers his mouth as the panelists respond to that joke.

Stephen has a hereditary ear question and the picture that appears is one that pastes the heads of Jimmy, Alan and Phill onto a mother, son and father, respectively. Jimmy is first to say “well, that is horrifying.’ Phill sees ‘himself’ and goes “so, the Atkins is working, then.’ And then Jimmy, again, goes “I’ll tell you what, I’ve got a cracking pair of tits!”

David eventually goes “I feel really left out. Can’t I be, like, the dog or something?”

On the ‘date a cod’ question, the behind-screen shows a fish dressed up with earrings and makeup. Phill, amused, goes “where…did you find a slutty fish like that? “ALL THESE WHORES OF THE SEA CAN BE YOURS!!”

The conversation all four of them have about walking on cod all the way from France to America is hysterical. David says ‘i mean, they’re slippy, even if they do lie nicely on the surface. I mean, back to boats, you know.’ Phill says ‘it’d be great, you can run…and then slide on them for a bit, and then run…”

The ‘who has the biggest ears in the world’ question is great, because as Jimmy is giving his joke answer ‘grandmas, and all the better to hear you with’, Alan is slowly bringing up his elephant stick on the other side. He even presses his buzzer with the stick, and the funny part is he’s right.

And now, the oddest question that has ever been asked on QI… “Would a bit of rough music stop you beating your wife?” David has the best reaction: “Sounds like a sort of leading question in a police interview, doesn’t it? ‘Would, uh, some music stop you beating your wife?’ ‘it might, actually.’ ‘GOT YOU!’

Jimmy has a great line after this: “Beating your wife is so stupid. I mean, it’s YOUR wife. It’s like keying your own car…”
David: “Society just got a tiny bit worse.”
Jimmy: “I like to think I can help.”

I love how heated David Mitchell gets at the ‘camel through the eye of a needle’ question. I believe this is the first of the now-famous Mitchell Rants, where he’s adamant about the correctness of a question that Stephen proclaims is quite wrong.

This devolves into a conversation about shoving a cat through the eye of a needle. Phill goes ‘you’ve already got the claw through, and you’re going ‘I don’t think this is gonna work.’ David even says ‘you end up with lovely bottled cat. I couldn’t decide red or white, so I brought cat.’ Still funny is Alan impersonating a cat shoved into a bottle.

And then the whole thing about the whistles in the floatation devices, or as David describes, ‘a bunch of people bobbing in the water, going ‘peep-peep-peep.’ Alan has the ingenious idea ‘give everyone a different note, and give them all songbooks.’
Jimmy: ‘Wouldn’t it be kind of tragic if you were playing a song, and one of the notes didn’t go off, and you went…’he didn’t make it…”

Jimmy says that, in the event of a crash, people are told to put their head between their legs ‘to preserve the dental record.’ David takes it even further going, “In the unlikely event of your death, I’m sure you’d all like to be identified. Bite down hard on your own armrest…”

After revealing that the Treasure Island character in question was the parrot, the behind-screen shows a still from Treasure Island, circling the parrot. Phill, with a great line, says “yes, because you needed to circle the parrot there, I think…”the parrot is here!”‘

Phill’s expression when he realizes Alan won is great, he has this huge smile, and turns to Alan, going “AGAIN!”. I love moments like these when Phill can break character and be in a really good mood, especially with his friend Alan.

Overall: GREAT EPISODE! The dynamic between the panel was the best it’s been all season, and all four panelists were giving grade-A material. I’d have to say Phill was the weakest, but he wasn’t without his great moments. David had a breakthrough performance, finally coming into his own, and Jimmy had a pretty great game too.

MVP: David
Best Guest: Jimmy
Show Winner: Alan
Best QI Fact: rough music


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