QI Watchdown: F6 (Fakes & Frauds)

Nowwww we’re getting into the swing of QI things. We’ve had a Phill and Jo episode, and now that the regulars are rolling in, we have our first Sean and Jimmy episode of the season. This is a magic duo, one I trust wholeheartedly, so I imagine it’ll be a fun show.

Also on this episode is Marcus Brigstocke, a guy who I’ve not really heard of. So, at least it’ll be interesting.

Stephen starts the show, keeping with the Fakes & Frauds theme, in saying “Welcome to Never Mind the Buzzcocks, I’m Natasha Lipinski and I’m not wearing any underwear.”

The panelists are all introduced as other panelists, with cardboard cutouts and all. As Sean rings his buzzer, Alan throws the little cutout Sean head into the frame, which kills me.

Jimmy hears that the lyre can mimick anything. “I’d get it to woof. How neat would that be, if you had a bird that could woof?”

Marcus: “I’d probably get it to do Bill Audey.”
Stephen: ‘Surely that should be a bearded tit.”
Alan: “You’re thinking of Rory McGrath.”

There was a great moment when Alan buzzes in yet again after Marcus gets his buzzer wrong, and yells “LYRE BIRD!!!” And then, once the other three have been revealed as lyre bird, he guesses his own, a cell phone, is a lyre bird, and gets a klaxon. Just to interesting to watch.
Stephen: “That was a TELEPHONE! Couldn’t you tell?”
Jimmy: “Ironically, Alan, the big siren that went off there? That was a lyre bird.”

Sean wonders aloud why there aren’t any horses named Fred or anything
Marcus: “There was a Simon. He had my 40 quid.”
Jimmy (amusedly) “Simon the horse…”
Marcus: ‘Not anymore. He’s dog food now…”

Stephen: “What was unusual about the pig-faced lady?”
Sean: “She’d eight tits.”

Jimmy: “They’d get a bear drunk? And shave it? They’d probably show it backwards. THAT’S what you want to see! Forget about a pig-faced woman, I want to see a man try to shave a BEAR!!!”

Stephen: “There was once a tale of a bearded lady who fell in love with a contortionist…”
Jimmy: “This sounds like an old joke…”

Brief dynamic note- The Jimmy-Sean-Alan dynamic is working really well, as they can work off each other easily, while Marcus is sort of keeping to himself, and just saying a few jokes of his own, without really making an effort to connect. He’s generally pretty funny, but so far his stuff hasn’t stood out.

Stephen mentions other acts such as ‘Ursa, the bear girl.”
Jimmy (mishearing him) “Is that just a naked lady?”
Stephen: “No, B-E-A-R”
Jimmy: “That means a lot of people paid their money and went ‘ah, this is rubbish. she looks like a bear! If anything, I’m turned off!”

Stephen: “There was…I don’t know why this is funny…”Bonita the fat Irish midget.”

Marcus: “Well, listen, how long can a salamander go in fire?”
Sean, matter-of-factly: “Til it’s cooked.”

Alan gets another question right and goes “I’M ON FIRE! LIKE A SALAMANDER!” and proceeds to do this excited salamander impression as Stephen cracks up.

Stephen mentioned that this salesman who sold the Eiffel Tower tried to sell the Statue of Liberty to an Australian, but it didn’t work. Alan, in a perfect Australian accent, goes “aw, come on mayn…how’m I gonna git it home?”

Stephen has a story about a woman who opens her own jam factory to combat the array of fake ones. Jimmy, who’s already on a roll tonight, has the perfect line: “it does sound  like a euphemism for something else. ‘Yeah, she’s opened her jam factory…'”

Stephen: “What do they call jam in America?”
(Jimmy gives the right answer)
Sean, still: “I want some jaaaaaaam on my pancakes. Gimme jam.”
Stephen: “No. Jelly.”
Sean: “…I’m still saying’ JAAAAAAMMM. Ah think it’s funny when I say JAAAAAMM…”

Stephen talks about the headline for the ‘bosom robbers’ story, which is a long, drawn out account. Sean goes “Where as now, in the Sun, it’d be just “MONEY IN THEIR TITS.” “TITTY CASH.”

Alan is trying to figure out how  a gold crown is genuine in a bathroom. He guesses he’d “put it in the bath?” Jimmy asks “does gold go small and wrinkly in the bath?” Sean goes “that’s your crown jewels…”

The behind-screen shows pictures of all four panelists with blank expressions. Sean looks at Marcus’ and goes “You look like you’ve been arrested at a foreign airport for drug dealing…”

There’s an amazing shot of Alan trying to sword-swallow with the Sean popsicle. This episode does have its ridiculous moments.

Stephen says that anything under a certain height of sword means people aren’t actually recognized as sword swallowers.
Marcus: “What about height? Surely height would factor into is…”
Stephen: “You’d think that, but not really-”
Jimmy: “Yes, because if you’re a midget you’ve got to stab yourself through the arse!”

Marcus, on the commandments question: “Ah, now you see I’ve buzzed, but I fear that if I said ten…(points to the screen as the klaxon goes off)…that might happen…”

Wow, Sean ends up winning somehow, which is nice for him. and MARCUS of all people falls into last. A very odd show.

Overall: Solid show with a few speed bumps. Jimmy and Sean were fantastic, and worked off each other very well, as well as Alan. Marcus was a quieter addition to the panel, but still had his moments, even if there were less of them. A lot of big moments in this episode, but not a lot going on in GI.

MVP: Jimmy
Best Guest: Jimmy
Show Winner: Sean
Best QI Fact: The lyre bird

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