Nevermind Watchdown: S5E1

I feel like Series 5 starts a new period in NMTB’s chronology. Now they’re out of the woodwork, now people are watching, and now they’re able to have bigger guests. Tonight, Simon Le Bon from Duran Duran is on, which is pretty freaking cool, as well as Ian Dury of blockheads fame. This episode aired about a year before Dury passed away, which is pretty sad.

Karen Poole was in Alisha’s Attic, and now is a prominent songwriter. Kathy Burke is our comedian, and she’s a member of the Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders repertoire company of the 90’s.

I love this- Mark basically says at the beginning of the Cliff Richard round of Connected that they shouldn’t really make ‘Cliff Richard is gay’ jokes. That is all that Sean ends up making.
Kathy: “The Cure had a song pulled after the gulf war-”
Sean: ‘And Cliff Richard was IN the gulf war! He was entertaining the troops, one at a time!”

But of course, Mark strikes back: “In 1995 Cliff Richard became Sir Cliff, after being knighted by the queen. It must have given him enormous pleasure to be on his knees in front of a queen.”

Karen: “Is it Emma is Baby Spice, and Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of babies?”
Mark: “OH. I don’t…I don’t think he does…”

Phill: “Does Ozzy Osbourne think that the Spice Girls are four astronaut ladies?”
(No one laughs.)
Mark: “HAHAHA. I got that one! You see, they didn’t…”
Phill: “SPIAACE GIRLS. CAUSE HE’S FROM BIRMINGHAM!”
Mark: “Very well known fact about Ozzy Osbourne. That and he eats babies, apparently…”

Before Phill and Kathy’s Intros, Kathy asks for the key. Phill does this very lazy, but still in tune, ‘eeehhh…’ Cracked me up.

Phill drags Simon over for the next one, because it’s a Duran Duran song, and the whole thing is hysterical, because they just get him over to dance, and Ian still has no idea. Phill, at the end, just shrugs and goes, at Simon, “IT’S ONE OF HIS!”

On the origin of the name the Buzzcocks:
Simon: “I think the name came from a phrase.”
Sean: “…’Buzzcocks’.”
Simon: “…yeah…”

Phill, on LL Cool J’s name: “Is it the small Welsh village where he was born?”

I like the new Band Names round, because it goes back and forth, each panel getting 2. Plus, they’re short and snappy, and are kind of fun.

Phill’s team doesn’t get the Captain Beefheart name one, but they get close, so Mark gives them the point.
THE REAL STORY: “An uncle of his used to have a party piece where he pulled out his penis,  squeezing it until the end turned purple, and then exclaimed that it “looked like a big ‘ol beef heart!”
Phill: “I, uh, I actually prefer our answer. Can we have that one, please? Cause you’re frightening me with this uncle. “LOOKIT DAT, BOY! LOOKIT MAH BIG PURPLE WILLY! NAME YOUR BAND AFTER IT!”

Ah, yes, the origin. Mark, in intros, gives Simon’s team about 5 straight Duran Duran lyrics, afterwards exclaiming “My, he’s very good at these!”

Overall: A very solid show, but a lot felt rushed in comparison to last series. The changes were a bit evident, and a lot of jokes were brushed along. The panel was quieter but the dynamic was not. Ian and Simon had nice showings, as well as Karen, who seemed to have a great time with Mark.

Best Regular: Sean
Best Guest: Kathy
Best Runner: Beefheart

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Nevermind Watchdown: S4E7

Well, once again, to quote Noddy Holder, IIIIT’S CHRIIIISTMAAAAASS!!!

I mean, even if Mark’s opening standup is cynical, it’s still funny: “Remember, Christmas is about one man. A man who’s touched all our lives. He’s been around for nearly 2000 years, he’s had wonders to perform….but sadly, we couldn’t get Noddy Holder, so there’s no real point…besides, the BBC are bound to rerun this show in July, so we’re making this summer themed instead.”

Huey Morgan, lead singer of the Fun Lovin’ Criminals, makes his first (of, in his words, ‘what, nine or so episodes?’) tonight, and he at least looks relatively happy tonight, mainly because Rizzle Kicks are not hosting.

Natalie Appleton is a member of all saints. Surprisingly the least well known panelist tonight.

Rick Wakeman, keyboardist from Yes, is here, another big-time rock icon that I’m still kind of amazed is on the show…multiple times, too.

…How did they get fucking Sporty Spice on the show? I mean, yeah, Mel B is on next series, but this is in the HEIGHT of Spice Girls-mania, maybe a little after. So…getting somebody like that in their prime…that takes a ton of skill.

One Indescipherable Lyric in and I already like Huey, him saying that the line ‘she’s a happy ass’ refers to a donkey the Ramones let into the mosh pit.

Rick, on the Bee Gees video: “Interesting thing is the windows weren’t broken when they started singing there…”

Rick trying to decipher the lyrics nearly scares Mark, especially when he adds the line “inside a Bee Gee you need lots of booze.”
Mark: “I never thought anyone could lower the tone of this program. ‘Never Mind the Prog-Rock Legend’.
Rick: “…you wait til you hear the chorus…”
Mark: “COULD SOMEONE CALL UP CHEGWIN? HAVE HIM ON STANDBY?”

The Intros round didn’t have a lot on lines, but had a ton on visuals, from Phill and Mel standing on chairs, to Rick writing a letter to his gran, to Huey momentarily losing the ability to speak…just a ton of great moments.

I’d like to let you all know that when Mark gives Huey one of his own lyrics to complete (“Stick ’em up punk”), he smirks, nods and gives the next line. I think Huey just fucking hates Rizzle Kicks.

Overall: I didn’t right all the highlights down, but there were a ton, and this was a very loose, very fun panel, especially with Demented Rick Wakeman and Huey “I perpetually look like I want to kill someone” Morgan. Even Mel C did a nice job, while Natalie was a bit quieter. A lot of nice moments, and a lot of looseness.

Best Regular: Sean
Best Guest: Rick
NPC of the Week: Natalie
Best Runner: Rick’s dark answers.

Nevermind Watchdown: S4E6

I only recognize one name off this episode’s panel, and it’s a very good one. Arthur Smith, gonzo comedian extraordinaire, and occasional Whose Line and QI star, is on this one, his first of a few. With him alone I do have some confidence here.

Jimmy Constable was the lead singer of 911. Mark Chadwick was the lead singer for The Levellers, a more rock-oriented band. Mel Giedroyc is a talk show host and second banana to Sue Perkins.

Arthur, on Billy Idol and Andrew Lloyd Webber: “You said that Billy Idol was in a bad motorbike accident. Well Andrew Lloyd Webber LOOKS like he’s had one…”

Then, Arthur goes on: “Andrew Lloyd Webber used to write with Tim Rice…and…erm…Billy Idol likes tinned rice.”

Arthur: “Webber used to be married to Sarah Brightman-”
Sean: “And HE was the looker in that relationship…”

There’s a running gag started early, where Arthur says that Jimmy is better looking than Sean, and it keeps going that everyone is better looking than Sean, even Sarah Brightman. It just keeps building.

Phill, on Dolly Parton and Pulp: “Does Jarvis collect Dollies, and Dolly collect co-oh, no she can’t…”

So far I’m loving the dynamic here. Arthur is reaching across the panels about the ‘open up the breast floodgates’ line, and they’re biting back. It’s really fun so far.

After Sean’s first intro, Mark tells them to stop the clip, because they were making a sound that apparently wasn’t in it. Arthur, the voice of reason, goes “The point is, Mark, they got it right…it’s just you being horrible because Sean’s upset that everyone now realizes he’s ugly.”

So Sean and Jimmy’s Intros are terrible, and Arthur can only get one of them, even with comb assistance. So Mark has Phill and Mel do one for Arthur.
Arthur can’t get it…Mark can’t get it…suddenly, Phill goes “I THINK I KNOW WHAT IT IS!”

By comparison, Mark gets Wild Thing in 5 seconds.

Next Lines:
Mark: ‘When the night has come.”
Arthur, only remembering some of the words: “And the moon is rrrrr…and the rrrrr is…errrghh..”
Mark: “Is this some sort of Grand Prix you’re watching? “When the night is RREEAAARGGHHH…and the land is RREEAAARGHHH…”

Overall: A slower show, with only some Arthur highlights to keep us through. Mark and Jimmy didn’t really make any impact, and Mel was only semi-helpful. If this was indeed the series finale, we’d be screwed.

Best Regular: Sean
Best Guest: Arthur
Best Runner: Sean is ugly.

Nevermind Watchdown: S4E5

A return for Mani, and the debut appearance of Jo Brand, who’s been on everything else I’ve reviewed so I’m not worried, kicks off this episode.

Matthew Marsden was on Coronation Street for a while, and then went onto an acting career.  Jah Wobble was a member of Public Image Limited, and to that end I feel very sorry for him.

JO’S HAIR IS FRIGHTENING IN THIS. WOW. DIDN’T KNOW IT COULD BE THAT LONG.

Phill, on the Fantazee lyrics: “There’s probably a Kung Fu Master from Bradford called Stands So High. “RIGHT! A’HM A KUNG FU MAHSTEH.”
Mark: “Is that how Japanese people speak? “‘ALLO, ‘AH’M JAPAN’AISE, NOICE TA MEET YA!” Come on, any country in the world, shout one out!
Phill: “Botswana.”
Mark: “‘ALLO! A’HM FROM BOTSWAAANA, NOICE TA MEET YA!”

Sean, on the Simple Minds lyrics: ‘I think that’s a bit too intelligent for Jim Kerr. Is it “PLEASE…COME BACK, PATSY. PLEASE, I’LL DO ANYTHING.”

Sean, in response to something, goes ‘BAD MON.”
Mark: “Have you been to Zimbabwe recently?”
Phill: “I have! ALLO, AH’M FROM ZIMBABWE!”

Mani realizes that Phill and Matthew are doing his song, gets up and starts to leave. He then goes “I FEEL LIKE I’VE HEARD THIS SOMEWHERE…”

Jah and Sean trying to do Low Rider is one of the most amusing things I’ve seen in a while. Even Jo looks horrified the entire time.

WAIT, SHIT, LIMAHL IS HERE FOR ID PARADE??? I mean, he should be one of the blokes on the panel.

Next Lines:
Mark: “Postman Pat, Postman Pat.”
Jo: “What a twat.”
Yeah, Jo never changes.

Overall: Quieter episode. I didn’t know how to write down a lot of Jah’s drum stuff, because most of it was phonetic, but it was really funny. Jah was the right kind of crazy, and seemed to just confuse the hell out of Mark in how adamant he was. Meanwhile, Jo, Mani and Matthew all did solid jobs.

Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Jo
Best Runner: Jah’s drum noises.

Nevermind Watchdown: S4E4, or Blue Peter joke a go-go

This is a bit of an odd one, as all four panelists are people we’ve never seen on the show before. Very risky, but let’s see if it works out.

Mark’s opening line is even wicked tonight: ‘The program that says ‘Love don’t live here anymore…she had to move out after Cobain shot himself..”

Sophie Ellis-Bextor sand lead vocals with the audience. Sean Cullen is a Canadian comedian and impressionist. Ken McAlpine is the keyboard player for The Supernaturals. Jayne Middlemiss is a TV presenter and DJ. Because it went SO WELL the last time.

Sophie: “You know, if you squash Celine Dion, you get Ricki Lake.”
Mark: “You know, I’d like to try it…”

Mark and Sean start milking the whole ‘Sophie’s mom used to present Blue Peter’ angle very early on, sending her recyclables for collection, a stuffed monkey, and Mark shows her a picture of his tortoise, which has PUFF DADDY written on the shell.
Sophie: “How long are you gonna make this joke?”
Mark: “Oh…hours…”

The array of accents on Phill’s team…my gosh…

Mark: ‘let’s get Sophie in the mood with something she might know…”
(A song from Blue Peter comes on.)

Hughes to Cullen: “D’you wanna do the Canadian National Anthem first to get ‘you’ in the mood?”

Sophie, trying to think of the title: “You know that thing where you can’t quite get to the bit where…”
Sean: “Stupidity, it’s called?”
Sophie: “I’M ON YOUR TEAM!!!”

Phill, in trying to give a clue to Ken about I Want You Back, goes, very quickly, “iwanchaba”, like in the song. Mark calls him out, saying “THAT’S THE TITLE OF THE SONG! THAT’S A FAIRLY BIG CLUE.”
Phill: ‘I didn’t say the title! I said “CHI-BU-WOO!” That’s not the title! It didn’t go to the top of the charts with CHI-BU-WOO! “And, at #1, it’s the Jackson 5 with CHI-BU-WOO!”
Then Mark and Phill start going back and forth about whether or not he went chi-bu-woo. Now Sean Cullen starts clapping, cheering them on.

In the excitement of the argument, Sean throws the monkey to Phill’s side. Afterwards, Mark goes “Right, let’s get rid of that monkey.” Phill, not getting it, just gets up and leaves.
As Phill comes back Mark goes “Ah, Gorillas in the Mist. In the jungle, the mighty jungle…”
Phill, like a-weem-a-way: “AH-CHI-BU-WOO, AH-CHI-BU-WOO!”

Then, the entire panel starts going into a rendition of The Lion Sleeps Tonight, and Mark REALLY gets into it, ending it by punting the monkey across the room.

After Jayne botches another Intro, Mark: “Jayne, can I just say…you’re the most unmusical person we’ve ever had on the show…and we’ve had someone from Boyzone.”

Freeze Frame:
Sean: “Does she start singing OOOOO CAAANAADDAAA…”
Cullen: “Magicians lie on me…”

Phill, on what happens next in the Mamas and Papas video: “Basically, what happens next. The hippie movement imploded with the end of the Vietnam war. And, the eventual Watergate Scandal and the collapse of the Nixon administration, led to a number of feeble, left wing administrations, which led to a strengthening of the right.”
Mark: ‘No-no, I meant what happens next in this video.”
Phill: “Oh, oh, right. Does the fat bird fall over?”
Mark: “What was that, the collapse of the hippie movement? Is that what you’re saying?”

Mark says that “Mama Cass died in 1974 in a London flat after choking on a sandwich. Surprisingly, Keith Moon died a few years later in the very same flat. He tripped over a body and banged his head on the ceiling.”
Oh my gosh, Mark Lamarr…

Next Lines:
Mark: “I.”
Cullen: “…love chicken.”
Mark: ‘That wasn’t a hit over here.”

One last way of fucking with Sophie. Last shot of the show, Phill and Sean come over to Mark’s frame, and Mark goes “from me Sean and Phill…bye bye”. Cut to Sophie, actually enjoying this one.

Overall: Another very strong, runner-based episode, fueled by Mark and Sean fucking with Sophie and making Blue Peter jokes. The women did the most work of the guests, with Sophie and Jayne making definite personality, and Sean Cullen throwing in a few jokes.

Best Regular: Sean
Best Guest: Jayne
Best Runner: Blue Peter jokes

Nevermind Watchdown: S4E3, or Never Mind Mutiny on the Bounty

After the Fantasia Episode, and the Moyles Episode, we’ve reached a bit of a streak already in Series 4. Tonight’s episode features two people we’ve seen before, Neil Hannon and Tom Robinson, and they’re both welcome. Emmy-Kate Montrose is treading familiar territory, as she’s the third member of Kenickie to appear on the show, and judging by the other two she should be pretty nice. Keith Chegwin is a famous TV presenter.

Tom on Bootee Call: “I think it’s something that pirates say. Like, “JIM, LAD, WE FOUND THE TREASURE.”
Mark: “Tom Robinson and his Pieces of Eight material, ladies and gentlemen…”

Sean, on Sussudio: “Keith, you got any idea?”
Keith: “I think it’s some reference to masturbation.”
Mark: ‘What, cause he did [grabs groin area] in the middle?”
Keith: ‘Yeah, and then he grabbed the microphone.”
Sean: “Do you do that when you’re wanking?”
Keith: ‘…..sometimes.”
Sean: “PASS THE MIC, THERE. WOULD YA?”
Mark: “Keith…I think all of us, apart for Tom, who grew up as kids watching you on television, don’t want to know about you masturbating. There are only so many mental pictures I can file away, and that ain’t gonna be one of them…”
Phill: “No wonder you were so perky on Saturday Superstore!”

Phill, summing it all up: “We turned up in the studio, there was some load of old wank about pirates, and then Cheggers started talking about walloping…”

Sean, as Tom fails in Intros: “Well Tom lad, ya listen to the song, and ye get the tune!”
Tom: “OH, AAARRRRR!!!”
Mark, dumbfounded: “You’re watching Never Mind the Mutiny on the Bounty.”

During Sean’s team’s Intros:
Phill: ‘IS IT MY MUM’S RADIO!”
Keith: “Shut it, I didn’t butt in when you were doing yours.”
(Sean even looks over at Phill and goes ‘ooooh…’
Phill: “Cheggers Plays Tough.”

Mark: “Michael Jackson says the first album he ever bought was a Smokey Robinson single, Mickey’s Monkey, which must have inspired him later in life. We can only hope he didn’t buy his second single, ‘Fiddlin’ About With Kids'”
Tom flat out facepalms

Overall: Yeah, obviously not as good as the first two this season, but not without its merits, especially involving Cheggers completely destroying his child-friendly image, and a few Mark jokes. Neil was a lot more quiet this time, Tom was definitely having a great time, Emmy-Kate was quiet, but still in the same vein as her fellow bandmates.

Best Regular: Sean
Best Guest: Tom
Best Runner: Pirate Jokes

Nevermind Watchdown: S4E2 or “MOYLES!!”

Tony Wright and Bob Mills make appearances tonight. Tony I remember very well, because he specializes in only knowing about metal. Bob…I don’t remember as well.

Not exactly sure about what Mark is referring to at the top of the show. I think he’s insinuating that Chris Moyles was complaining about how he was treated on the show? I’m not sure who the photo is of. Either way, he ends it by saying “Nevermind the Buzzcocks, the show that says sorry seems to be the hardest word…whereas ‘DIE YOU OILY PIG IN A DUNCE HAT’ rolls off the tongue quite nicely…”

Bez, best known for dancing in the foreground of Black Grape and Happy Mondays concerts, is here tonight. Apparently he’s on kind of often. Glenn Gregory was the lead singer of Heaven 17. He also sang on the Band Aid single…you probably don’t remember his bit.

Before the 1st round, Mark hands the guests some cushions, saying “I’d hate for anyone to leave saying they had a bad time or anything…”

Apparently the contempt toward Chris Moyles carries through the show, as Sean says, of Gary Numan, “well, he’s a laugh a minute, unlike Chris Moyles.”

Mark, after the Numan attempt: “That can’t be your real answer.”
Sean: “No, it’s ‘here in my car, beep beep, alone in my car, beep beep…”

Tony, interpreting Busta Rhymes: “The next line is ‘I did a freak shit.”
Mark: “…which is?”
Tony: “You know, when you can’t get your overalls down in time…”

Sean, in his first Intro, “whispers” to Bob “THE ANSWER’S ON MY COCK! IT’LL BE OUR LITTLE SECRET!”
Phill: “Sean, if the answer was on your cock, the only bang you could get on there is U2!”

As Phill and Glenn are doing their third Intro, Mark comes by, in an apron, with a tray of pastries. Phill motions ‘not now.’ This is amazing, especially because of how sarcastic they’re being to the whole Chris Moyles thing. It’s the right kind of sense of humor to have about it.

After 2 straight rounds of either Bob or Mark basically giving Tony the answer in Intros:
Phill: “Wow, Mark and Bob…everyone’s so helpful…AND NICE…ON THIS SHOW!”
Mark: “MOYLES!!!”
Phill: “WE HATE YOU MOYLES!!”
Mark: “It’s like a Scooby Doo ending. ‘We would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for that pesky fat cunt Moyles!!”

Tony: “I think #1 and #4”
Phill: “Tony, it can’t be #1 and #4 because it was a LADY…and a bloke.”

Mark: ‘Yeah, #1 did give herself away by smiling and nodding when she came out.”
Phill: “Did she? I didn’t notice?”
Mark: “She must be just really happy to be in front of a crowd again.”
#1 bites her lip and glares at Mark.
Mark: “Like, for the camera it was all smiles and grins, but when she looked over it was like Lemmy relived.”

Phill guesses #1 and #3, and says there was a really good leg move the girl did in the video, that he wants to see them replay.
Mark: “I’ll tell you what. If you’re right, I’ll get her to do it for you.”

Of course, #1 and #3 are right, and Mark says ‘but that’s not enough. Do the kick.
#1- “I can’t! I haven’t got on any knickers!”
Phill: “DO THE KICK! DO THE KICK!”

Phill, guessing: “I dance like a twat. Was there ever a single called ‘I dance like a twat’?”
Mark: “Probably the first single you ever bought, wasn’t it Bez?”

At the very end, everyone treats themselves to cakes, sportsmanlike and jovial. Phill’s team starts singing We Are the World.

Overall: Coming off the Chris Moyles controversy, this episode may have been funnier than the one he was on. Where that episode had an okay panel and one amazing running gag, this one had a great panel and SEVERAL amazing running gags, with Bez’ prescription drugs, Tony only knowing metal, the leg kick, and, of course, the sarcastic ‘let’s all be nice’ in response to Moyles. All four panelists were great, having a ton of fun, and it was a solidly put together episode.

Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Bob
Best Runner: Chris Moyles is a twat.

Nevermind Watchdown: S4E1 or The One with Fantasia

This is weird. All four players are new to NMTB, but two of them are not new to the big blog. Bill Bailey, who will eventually take the reins of Sean’s panel (rather successfully I might add), as well as being a standout on QI, is here, along with Vic Reeves, Bob Mortimer’s partner and crime and a guy who never lost an episode of QI.

Phill is now sporting his world-famous facial hair, which we met him on QI with.

Chris Moyles is, sigh, yet another DJ. Do they not learn? James Broad is the lead singer of Silver Sun. No relation to the Silversun Pickups.

Phill, on Suede and The Monkees: “Davy Jones…he’s got the same name as David Bowie, David Bowie’s real name is David Jones. So the Monkees have got a bloke with David Bowie’s name, and Suede…have got a bloke with David Bowie’s *act.*”

Sean, noticing Chris, Phill and Bill wearing red, yellow and black: “We just want to ask why Phill’s team is dressed as the German flag tonight…”

James on Eddy Grant and Slade: “Slade’s lead singer is called Noddy, and Eddy, this is ironic, but Eddy’s got little ears…”

Vic is making fun of Slade, and Mark turns the tables on him by playing a clip from a song HIS BAND played in the early 90’s, a really bad one called ‘Fantasia’, just to screw with him. Maybe this is revenge for Bob Mortimer completely taking over on his last time on. Plus, he just keeps playing it whenever he wants.

Sean, trying to get back on track: “Did they both cover Fantasia?”
Vic: ‘You’ll all be singing’ it tomorrow…”
Sean: “I’M SINGING IN *NOW*!”

Mark: “Well, if you haven’t a clue, I’m afraid I have to pass it over…”
Bill, caught off guard: “Uh….DEUTCHLAND DEUTCHLAND UBER ALLES!”
Mark: “In fact, that was the b-side to…”

After the second Intros one for Phill’s team is one of Vic’s new, good band’s songs. Mark goes “Dizzy, of course, we’ve all enjoyed at parties and weddings, but I don’t think it was Vic’s finest hour, I think it was this” and Fantasia plays yet again…

Chris, of course, can’t get any of the three Intros.
Vic: “Chris have you ever heard any music?”
Phill: “I’ll tell you what, Vic Reeves, and I know one tune that Chris Moyles HAS heard, and I think it’s this!”
On cue, Fantasia starts playing. Now Bill and Phill start dancing to it.

Phill, on the St. Winnifred Choir ID Parade: “St. Winifred was really the patron saint of khaki novelty singles. They previously cast their praises on a piece called Fantasia from the northeast end…”
Mark: “I remember that one. Didn’t it go a bit like this?”
(A much faster version of Fantasia starts playing)
Phill: “I do think it’s gone a bit faster”
Mark: “That was the dance version.”

Phill: ‘Now your lead singer, the one with no teeth…did she have her teeth punched out by Musical Youth in a backstage fight?”

Sean, on his ID Parade group: “How can they stand so still?”
Mark: “Because they’ve heard this. (fantasia starts playing again) They’re mesmerized.”
Now Vic begins to grit his teeth a bit.

Next Lines:
Mark: ‘Won’t you come home?”
Bill: “Bill Bailey!”

Just when you think they’re about to sign off without mentioning it one more time.
Mark: ‘I’ve been Mark Lamarr…OHHHHH FANTAAAAASIAA…EVERYBODY!”
The song plays, and everybody sings along.

Overall: OH MY GOD….that was a hysterical episode. This is proof that if you have a really good running gag, and if you keep putting it in, it can turn an okay panel into a hilarious one. Because yeah, Chris and James were kind of quiet, and Bill and Vic, as expected were great, but the regulars carried this one, as well as the Vic-Mark dynamic. I think Mark had been wanting to do this ever since Shooting Stars.

Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Bill
Best Runner: OHHHHHH FANTAAAAASIAA….

Nevermind Watchdown: S3E7 or The One with the Invisible Trombones

Capping off Series 3, a season with a slow middle and rousing edges, is an episode with Billy Bragg and Jonathan Ross, which does mean it could be a nice one.

Justin Currie is the lead singer of Del Amitri. I didn’t think I’d heard of them until I heard Roll to Me in his intro. That song charted in the US, and has definitely gotten some radio play. I just didn’t know they were Scottish.

Mary Anne Hobbs is a Radio One DJ. Like all the other DJs that have been on this show, sure to make for some interesting television.

Mark sums up everything by introing Jonathan with ‘Phill’s second guest…oh no, he’s back again…”

Justin, on Collins and Oribison: “I think I know this. Collins used to do a song called ‘Coming in your ear’…and that used to be part of the Big O’s stage act.”
Mark: “Is that the kind of joke I think it is?..”

Justin: “Is the connection that Orbison played the devil’s music, so they say he went straight to hell…”
Mark: ‘And what does Phil Collins have to do with that?”
Justin: “Well, what do you think they play in hell 24 hours a day?”

Jonathan, on Chris DeBurgh and Mark King: “Level 42…you get to Level 42 of the game Sonic the Hedgehog, you meet a big monster who looks like Chris DeBurgh.”

Mark gives Jonathan so much shit in the Intros round. After Jonathan basically yells out the title for Mary Anne, Mark goes “that’s the first time you’ve actually guessed one, Jonathan!”

Mark, after Jonathan already gave away the answer: “Obviously I can’t give the point there, but I will pass it over.”
(Billy, Jonathan and Sean are all reading oversized prop newspapers)

Plus, Jonathan keeps bringing back the invisible trombone from the first one at random, which Mark keeps giving him even more shit over.

Jonathan: “It’s like password, you say what you see. I see two fat blokes making twats of themselves.”
Phill: “With their invisible trombones.”

Next Lines:
Mark: “Some people might say my life was in a rut”
Jonathan: “Other people might say I’ve been on this show too fuckin’ often.”
Mark: “And I’d be cheerleading them.”

Overall: Not as good as last episode, but still a solid, funny show to end on, mostly aided by Jonathan and Mark. Billy and Justin were pretty good too, and Mary Anne…did about as much as most DJs do on this program.

Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Jonathan
Best Runner: Invisible Trombones

Not gonna do superlatives for this one, because this wasn’t the greatest series.

Nevermind Watchdown: S3E6, or AT THE END OF THE QUIZ…NOT TELLING!

Always nice to see three really good guests we’ve seen before.

Math Priest, Lauren Laverne and Jeff Green are all here tonight, along with Tom Robinson, a famed singer and gay activist. Glad to see he’ll be snuggling up to Phill tonight.

Math thinks the ‘pompitous’ is like a Mexican Wave, “but in Portsmouth.” There’s a great moment when all three of Phill’s team members just start doing this silly wave to the left and the right.

Mark says that ‘pompitous’ might be another word for an erotic female puppet.
phill: ‘And ‘erotic female puppet’ once again brings us back to Ginger Spice, doesn’t it?”
Mark: “Apart from the ‘erotic’ and ‘female’ bit.”

Sean, in doing as ‘someone in the band’ would do, inadvertently abandons Lauren by just moving to the back of the screen and not doing anything…which Mark scolds him for. “You were basically a bystander in that round!”

Before he and Phill’s Intro, Tom pulls out a kazoo and plays an E, saying they have to be in the right tune. Phill even goes “I’ve never done that before.”

Tom and Phill, on their third, both do jump-roping, jumping up and down frantically. Mark yells at Math to ‘COME AND WATCH IT FROM OVER HERE!”

ID Parade:
Sean: “Two looks like he’s been in Vietnam…and he’s not gotten over it yet!”
Mark: “Oh, he’s not happy, leave him alone.”

Lauren: “#2 looks so angry I’m scared.”
Mark: “#2’s gonna be the one on top of the BBC building picking you all off as you leave.

Always nice when they get an ID Parade act I’ve heard of. The Vapors. Turning Japanese. Yeah, I know that one.

A lot of really nice Lauren stuff this episode. Especially the bit about her associating Turning Japanese with the devil. Especially Mark giving her shit about it. “Hi, I’m Beelzebub, and here’s my proof- TURNING JAPANESE I THINK I’M TURNING JAPANESE-”

Even better is all the masturbation references in talking about Turning Japanese. Phill going “I’d love to shake that man’s han-well, no, I really wouldn’t.”

Tom: “Not #3, because he must have been 4 years old when it came out.”
Mark: “It does stunt your growth…”

Next Lines:
Mark: “Oh man, wonder if he’ll ever know.”
Phill: “TURNING JAPANESE I THINK I’M TURNING JAPANESE”
(Lauren just face palms)

After Next Lines:
Jeff: “How many did we get? Must have got about 20.”
Mark: “Well, I’m just about to tell you, Jeff. Don’t keep asking ‘oh, how many you gonna get?” I’m not gonna go “AT THE END OF THE QUIZ…NOT TELLING! GOOD NIGHT!”

Overall: THAT WAS WHAT WE NEEDED! Not only was the panel on, but there were enough running gags to make up for the last few episodes. Lauren Laverne did the most of the guests, though Tom, Math and Jeff were also really good, even if Jeff wasn’t as gonzo as usual. It was a fresher show, and it got REALLY GOOD around ID Parade.

Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Lauren
Best Runner: TURNING JAPANESE I THINK I’M TURNING JAPANESE-