Nevermind Watchdown: S5E3, or LET’S STARE #5 OUT!!

Episode 2 was something to be beheld- it wasn’t a COMPLETE classic, but once Athelston Williams showed up the place went wild. Hopefully that momentum will carry over to this one, my first Frank Skinner episode.

Plus, this also marks the return of Rick Wakeman, whose gonzo-ness last time made any appearance of his welcome. So I’m kind of optimistic.

Paul Godfrey was a member of Morcheeba, and Leeroy Thornhill is the keyboardist for the Prodigy. Late-90’s ELECTRO-POP FIIIIIGGGHHHTT!

Rick, on Jarvis Cocker and Annie Lennox: “Is the connection Sgt. Bilko? Because he’s saluting, like that private doberman did, and she looks like she’s got a doberman in her privates.”
Sean: “You’ve got a 12-year-old son, haven’t ya? They’re gonna be so proud of you, watching this. ‘DAD’S DONE THE FUCKING DOBERMAN JOKE! School’s gonna be a blast tomorrow!'”

Mark: “I’m gonna pass it over.”
Phill: “They were, uh, a little chef, just outside catering. Yeah, they both worked in it, and they were both employees of the month, two months running.”
Mark: “Phill, you could just say ‘no, I don’t know’…”
Phill: “I’d like to have a go! It was a long shot, but just think of how proud I’d have felt if I nailed it!”

Screen Shot 2016-12-03 at 2.25.04 PM.pngLeeroy: “Personally, I thought the pictures were taken at the same time, one from the side and one from the front.”
AND WE’RE OFF!

Mark: “I mean, her face does imply that Jimmy Savile’s in the room SOMEWHERE..”

Frank: “Is it true that his hairdresser was so famous that they wrote an opera about him?”
(No response)
Frank: “AND THAT’S THIS WEEK’S VIEWER’S QUESTION. WHAT WOULD THAT OPERA BE CALLED? And the prize? My dressing room key at the BBC, ladies and gentlemen! Any offers?”
Mark: “No entrance.”
Audience Member: “The Barber of Savile!”
Frank: “THE BARBER OF SAVILE! WELL DONE, LAD!”
Mark, cracking up: “HE LOOKS PLEASED WITH HIMSELF!”

Phill doing an impression of Jimmy Savile in a porno…I mean, my gosh. There is never an unfunny Savile joke, I think.

Frank and Mark have a great rapport, especially in Intros, where, whenever Frank gets the song, he’ll just start doing the vocals, and Mark will start yelling for him to stop.

Great moment- Phill and Leeroy do a pretty nice rendition of ‘I Don’t Want to Go to Chelsea’. Within an instant, Frank mimes putting on glasses and doing a PITCH PERFECT ELVIS COSTELLO IMPRESSION. 

Here we go. Phill’s ID Parade is Junior Giscombe’s ‘Mother Used to Say’. HOWEVER…NUMBER FIVE IS AN OLD FRIEND..

Screen Shot 2016-12-03 at 2.34.09 PM.png

“Or Number five…NUMBER THREE!”

Heck, Athelston even gets some recognition applause from the folks that were here last week. It’s fantastic.

Mark: “LET’S STARE HIM OUT!”
Screen Shot 2016-12-03 at 2.35.22 PM.pngScreen Shot 2016-12-03 at 2.35.47 PM.png

Mark: “Is he following a star?”

After that, complete pandaemonium breaks loose. Phill and Mark get up and start hypnotically walking around the set.
Screen Shot 2016-12-03 at 2.36.40 PM.png
Screen Shot 2016-12-03 at 2.37.09 PM.png
Screen Shot 2016-12-03 at 2.37.47 PM.png
Phill then bows down to the staring guy, and goes “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US??”

Frank: “We’re all gonna be really embarrassed if #5 is Junior…”
Phill: “Well, ‘Mama would say’ nothing. Mama would have shot him at birth.”
Mark: “I think if it was #5 he would dress up as mum and live in the loft…”
Phill: “He moves less than the bloke in the John Smith adverts…”
Leeroy: “So does John Lennon.”
Mark: “It’s probably a clue that mmmaaaaybe it’s not #5.”
Phill: “I guess it just goes to prove what happens if you do take too much viagra. ME WHOLE BODY ERECT!”

Next Lines: “Ring and a ring and a ring and a ring.”
Phill, as Jimmy Savile, harkening back to earlier: “Jewelry jewelry JEWELRY!”
Frank: “Is it George Michael’s autobiography?”

Mark: “Sean’s team, you need 15 points to win, and as you’ve got Rick on your side, it ain’t gonna happen.”

As Sean’s team begins to do Next Lines, Rick picks up a children’s coloring book and starts doodling. It’s kind of amusing, albeit kind of staged.

Rick, after getting a point: “D’I GET ONE?”
Mark: “Yeah, but you’re still gonna lose…”

After Sean’s team gets wiped out in Next Lines, Mark: “SO, IT’S TIEBREAK TIME!” He then smiles, and nods no.

Overall: This was a show that became ELECTRIC right when ID Parade started. I think this show wouldn’t have been as successful if it weren’t for Athelston, even though there was some pretty okay stuff before then. Frank and Rick were characteristically funny in this one, and while Leeroy and Paul had a good line or two, they weren’t complete standouts.

Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Frank
Best Runner: screen-shot-2016-12-03-at-2-35-47-pm

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One thought on “Nevermind Watchdown: S5E3, or LET’S STARE #5 OUT!!

  1. Then there was the audience member who laughed so hard Mark and Frank just ripped her to shreds, as I transcribed on Wikiquote…

    Mark: Smokey Robinson started a trend amongst pop stars when he named his daughter Tamla after his record company. Courtney Love’s father calls her Rough Trade, while George Michael’s dad now calls him Strange Fruit.

    Mark: Attractions bass player Bruce Thomas cut himself while demonstrating the safest way to smash a bottle in a fight. Kurt Cobain suffered a similar mishap while demonstrating the safest way to blow your head off with a gun.

    Frank: Was Kurt Cobain’s dad on Stiff Records? [long period of laughter from the audience and Mark. A female audience member laughs hysterically.] That’s a seagull trapped in the skylight!
    Mark: Turn the extractor fan off, let it out will you? [the audience member laughs even harder.] She’s having a lovely time.
    Frank: I don’t know, she might be having a bloody heart attack and we’re ignoring it, or an asthma attack…
    Mark: I guess she’s having a stroke every now and again.

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