Nevermind Watchdown: S6E1, or SCOOBY DOOBY DOOOO!!


This episode features two people we’ve seen, including Arthur “I’m Not OLD!” Smith, and Jayne Middlemiss. It also features Martin Fry, the unmistakable lead singer of ABC, and Sister Bliss, an EDM keyboardist.

Sean guesses that the Osmonds song got its name because someone put a horse’s head in the father’s bed, “him thinking it was wife #6, shagged it anyway.”
Jayne: ‘Just the head??”
Sean: “You’ve never shagged a horse’s head? And you got the job on the O Zone?”
Jayne: “I have shagged Jamie Theakston though. Does that count?”
Phill: “No, we said a horse’s head, not the…other end.”
Arthur, absolutely serious: “I, TOO, have shagged Jamie Theakston.”

Arthur: “[so-and-s0] had a disposition, and said that the best way to wipe your ass was with a swan’s neck.”
Jayne: “A SWAN’S NECK? Why would that be?”
Sean: “Jamie Theakston’s not around?”

Arthur: “I’ve also had Richard Whitley.”
Jayne: [hums the Countdown theme]
Arthur: “It was a bit like that. And Jamie was similar, you remember…”

Arthur, on Madness: “I think it’s a bit unfair, because we’re invited to make amusing comments about Madness, a very cool band, who no one really wants to hear horrible jokes about, unlike the Osmonds, a bunch of grinning nutters…”
Mark: “So what you’re saying there Arthur is you haven’t got anything funny about Madness.”
Arthur: “I have several amusing anecdotes.”
Mark: [does a “BE MY GUEST” posture.]
Phill: “Let rip, Monkey Boy.”

Arthur: “You know there was a bit at the beginning where a lightbulb broke, and then I thought that it’d be the answer to ‘How many members of Madness does it take to screw in a lightbulb?’…and alas, I couldn’t think of the punchline.”
Arthur is on a ROLL tonight.

Mark: “Upon the release of Madness’ video for ‘It Must be Love’, Jimmy Savile urged kids everywhere to not go near water with electric guitars. In response, Madness urged kids everywhere not to go near Jimmy Savile. IT’S OUR FIRST JIMMY SAVILE JOKE OF THE SERIES, EVERYONE!”
And then streamers fall down and ‘Hot Hot Hot starts playing.

Once they bring in the actual Eye of the Tiger, they do something funny with the editing, where, with the beat, they cut to each of the panelists at random, at some odd moment of pose. Mark’s making a face. Phill’s falling. Martin’s in mid-sentence, etc.

In the T-Rex intro, Sean makes a very odd, scratchy “oOoOoOoOo”, sort of Tony Slattery-esque noise. Phill even guesses “SCOOBY DOO!” And for the rest of the round he just keeps making Scooby Doo noises.

Mark: “T-Rex’s manager said that he always knew that Mark Bolan would actually die traveling. Of course, he was wrong; it was the moment he stopped traveling that did him in. FIRST MARK BOLAN JOKE OF THE SEASON!!!”

Arthur, after Phill’s first Intro: “I think it’s called…’Fat Bloke Embarrassing Himself for Money.”
Mark: “….Bonus point, but not the right answer…”

Great moment. Arthur, not knowing, says he heard a bit of ‘All of Me’ in there. So Mark, Phill and Arthur go into an impromptu version of All of Me, full on singing and everything. I love little moments where the show just stops so Mark can have fun. I love his relaxed kind of demeanor there.

Mark: “Ike Turner once went deaf when he was surprised when trying to remove wax from his ear with a hat pin. A similar accident occurred when Kurt Cobain was surprised when trying to remove spinach from his teeth with a shotgun. IT’S THE FIRST…”

Great moment in ID Parade. The conglomerate guesses are 1, 2, and 5. #1, clearly not getting the game, walks forward, realizes his bluff, then walks back. Now Jayne goes “I’m changing mine to #1 now…”


Arthur, in ID Parade: “Now, uh, when was [Hazel Dean] around?”

Overall: Such a strong show, especially from Arthur Smith, who RULED this show like he did his first time out. Plus, at least he had help from Jayne and Martin, who both had a lot of fun. Bliss…was useless. Still, very funny show, with a lot of great Arthur moments. Mark, but the way, is looser than he’s ever been, and I’m loving this.

Best Regular: Mark
Best Guest: Arthur
NPC of the Week: Sister Bliss


6 thoughts on “Nevermind Watchdown: S6E1, or SCOOBY DOOBY DOOOO!!

  1. The Byron poem Mark recites is genuine, a savage quip about Lord Castlereagh…

    Posterity will ne’er survey
    A nobler grave than this:
    Here lie the bones of Castlereagh:
    Stop, traveller, and piss.

      • I love it when Buzzcocks becomes a recite-off!

        By the way, did you catch the link I put on your “About” page? It’s the missing episode from series 6.

  2. Yeah, I saw the link, tried to access it, and it kept giving me a ‘file does not exist on this server’ message. Not sure if i’m doing something wrong or the file’s simply not there anymore.

      • Yeah, regardless of quality at least I’ll be able to say I’ve seen the entire Mark Lamarr era. Thanks a ton for the link. I’m gonna try and watch that and log it for the blog within the next few days.

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