The ‘QI to NMTB’ train has been bringing Jo Brand, Bill Bailey, Arthur Smith and Sean Lock to NMTB so far. Tonight we get Rich Hall. And I’m pretty damn excited. We also do get Suzi Quattro, of ‘Stumbling In’ and ‘Cacking Into the Needle’ fame.
Ian Broudie’s a music industry ping-ponger. Big Ben is an EDM-ish singer of Phats and Small.
My god, Rich Hall is just universally craggy. Looks the exact same as he does now.
Mark, in response to Phill’s anecdotes: “D’you ever hear about the one concert where the lead singer threw a tampon into the crowd, and the audience called themselves the Jammy Dodgers.”
Suzi: “Oh, god, I’m going under the table…”
Mark: “NOT YET, LOVE! WE HAVEN’T FINISHED!”
Rich, on Lynyrd Skynyrd: “They invented the 42-minute guitar solo, and then they died in a Scrabble accident.”
Oh, how I missed this guy…
Rich: “At the time, if you’ll understand, there were no E’s. The Bee-Gees had all the E’s at that point.”
Ian: “Are they going to do an anti-racist song?”
Sean: “No, that’d be ‘KKK and the Sunshine Band'”
Sean: “Is he called ‘fish’ because he once got stuck in the Queen Mother’s throat?”
Rich, echoing Suzi’s claim about skunks: “D’you know, if you hit a fish with your car, your tires stink.”
Man, he’s the same way on QI.
Phill and Suzi’s second intro is a bunch of whirring, whooshing sounds. Ben goes “Doctor Who.” Phill has to go “no, not Doctor Who’, and keep going. However, halfway through the melody, he turns, and, doing a perfect Davros, goes “HEL-LO, BEN!”
Suzi manages to whisper the title to Ben when Mark isn’t looking, and Mark totally hears it.
Mark: “You know all those cameras that are pointed at you? They’re probably filming what you’re doing. So, you know when I looked away and you went (whispered)”
Suzi: “They saw that?”
Mark: “They might have picked it up.”
Mark: “Yetta [from ABBA] had her first hit with Two Little Trolls…or Benny and Bjorn, as they’re best known…”
Mark: “When Crowded House split, Neil Finn said he was sick of being in the same studio with the same people. Neil…you know nothing.”
Cut between Phill, Sean, and back to Mark looking pained.
OH! The ID Parade features a black guy. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!?!? BRING OUT ATHELSTON!!!
Athelston, wearing a backwards cap, is introduced as “#5, the face in my nightmares.”
Mark: “Glad to have you back, sir. Like the new, youthful image since you’ve been on telly.”
Phill: “#4 looks like Jethro Clampett.”
Mark: “HOLD ON…IS THE COLOUR NOT WORKING ON YOUR TELLY AGAIN???”
Phill: “Has #5 blinked yet?”
Mark: “Not since he was last on the show.”
Suzi: “#2 it is, mostly because he looks like it.”
Phill: “Yeah, that’s normally the giveaway.”
Rich: “Lemme try something…OH NURSE!!”
(none of the five move)
Rich: “That settles it. None of the five are air-hostesses.”
Sean: “Why’d you shout ‘Oh Nurse’?”
Rich: “Cause that really pisses ’em off.”
Man, Mark’s sign off must have been so racy that it was cut, and they had to edit around it. Damn.
Overall: Not as good as the last two, but picked up extreme momentum right when ID Parade began (thanks a bunch Athelston). Suzi not entirely getting it was fun, as was Rich Hall being himself on the show. Ben and Ian didn’t do as much.
Best Regular: Mark
Best Guest: Rich
Best Runner: Skunk under the tires.