Nevermind Watchdown: S7E2, or Who was that? Celeste or Daphne?

Not a ton of folks I’ve heard of on this one. Wikipedia insinuate’s this episode’s claim to fame is that it’s the first one to feature a panel of more than two people, with Daphne & Celeste on the panel tonight. Still along way to go before Rizzle Kicks, thankfully.

Graham Gouldman used to sing lead for 10cc. Daphne & Celeste are a brat-pop girl group from New Jersey. Par Wiksten is the lead singer of Swedish band the Wannadies. Not as good as the other lead singer of a swedish band named Per. Stuart Maconie is a journalist and TV presenter.

You know they’re gonna be hard to deal with when Mark has to tell them to shut up to start the next panelist intros.

After hearing Daphne & Celeste speak for one line, I really hope UK audiences didn’t think all Americans were like this in 2000. Because MY GOD.

Phill, on the shot of Craig David and the spilled liquor: “Is Craig about to do some falconry there, because he’s got his hand up…you know, to distract the girl from the wine-spilling incident…is he beckoning his peregrine?”
Mark: “And what does that mean?”

Mark, after a good 30 seconds of Daphne and Celeste babbling, just turns his chair to them and lies back. “This is gonna be a good show for me to watch.”

Mark, after the incredibly weird fourth wall break in the video: “You’re absolutely right, the answer is…he annoyed me.”

Mark: “Craig says that when girls go out with him, he worries, ‘is this for Craig David the person or Craig David the artist?'”
Celeste/Daphne: “oh god…”
Mark: “Don’t…not over the jokes, alright? NUMBER ONE RULE…I don’t talk over your songs, I DON’T EVEN LISTEN TO ‘EM!”
Celeste/Daphne: “We weren’t saying anything!”
Mark, to the camera: “When do their batteries run down?”

Mark: “Last Christmas, Craig just missed the top of the charts with ‘Re-re-wind’, when Cliff Richard held him firmly in the #2 slot.”
oh my god…

Sean, on Brigitte Nielsen: “Billy Idol has REALLY let himself go.”

Sean: “It’s a Channel 5 program? Well, obviously Keith Chegwin turns up at some point…and do they compare the size of each other’s cocks?”

Sean: “Does she do something disgusting?”
Mark: “Well…SHE’S THERE, FOR A START. That’s hardly what happens next, is it?”
Par: “Any hope for a golden shower or anything?”
My god, the audience reaction. Celeste and Daphne look at each other with confused, yet horrified, expressions.
Mark: “Well, I’m a bit busy now…”

Phill, for Intros: “Stand, ladies.”
Celeste and Daphne, in unison: “Okay.”
Phill: “Jesus, it’s like working with a couple of oompa loompas…”
Mark: “Oh, the fact that you’re Willy Wonka’s the WORST bit…”

The sheer exuberance going on with Daphne and Celeste is hysterical, just going “YEEESSS!!” when Graham gets one right. Even Mark is cracking up. I don’t blame him, either.

Phill has to do his 2nd one again, but without Daphne.
Phill: “Mark, could you look after her for me?”
Celeste: “You have to do a dramatic walk off now.”
Mark: “Don’t me dramatic, just go.”

After a joke that featured the punchline “and my dad”, Celeste is caught giving a laugh. Mark, confused, looks over, and goes “you don’t know me dad…but I know your mum.” I love how he just keeps fucking with the girls, like he’s having so much fun with it.

Par, after a really enthusiastic Intros noise: “We want to win. WE WANT TO WIN.”
Mark: ‘Well, you’ve got a chance. TAKE A LOOK.”

Mark: “I have to pass it over. I don’t want to look that way while I do it, because it encourages people. So [not moving] PHILL’S TEAM.”
Graham: “Yeah.”
Mark: “Who was that? Celeste or Daphne?”

Mark: “After the release of ‘Baby One More Time’, Britney was photographed stroking my little pony.”
Even without a punchline, Phill doubles over in laughter.
Mark: “…I wish.”

Mark: “Britney has also been romantically linked. If they do marry, Britney could become Queen of England….GET YOUR PEN OUT ELTON, I SENSE A CRASH COMING ON!”
Wow, Mark has just been hitting the jugular every single time tonight.

Mark, in the 1st ID Parade, starts the first two with good ‘Gwen’ titles, like ‘Gwen you’re smiling’, or ‘Gwen I’m in love.’ #3 he goes right for “GWEN I’M CLEANING WINDOWS.” #5 is “GWEN MILLER.”, and he brings back the kazoo from last episode.

As C&D start prattling on in ID Parade, Mark: “Anyone in the audience got a copy of War and Peace? I’ve always wanted to read it.”

The ID Parade for Sean has #3 that looks entirely different, with long, stringy blonde hair as opposed to the short brown.
Sean: “Wow, they all look so similar…I CAN’T SPOT ONE THAT LOOKS OUT OF PLACE…”

After having a disagreement with Par, Mark: ‘I’m having trouble with you this evening.”
Par: “No, your producer just said, “you’re giving too much attention to the girls, throw some shit on the man with the wig.”

On shampoo, Mark: ‘Anyone remember them?”
Celeste: “Yeah, they’re in Japan.”
Mark: “Well, let that be a lesson to you.”

Mark signs off with “I’ve been Mark Lamarr, and my GOD I’m looking for a gas pipe now…”

Overall: This was a crazy show, but more importantly it was a FUNNY show. All four panelists, if unbalanced, all put in good stuff. Par was surprisingly funny, and gave some of the best answers. Graham and Stuart contributed solidly, but this show is about Celeste and Daphne, and Mark screwing with them. Yeah, they were very annoying, and sort of derailed the show once or twice, but they were still funny, and it was great seeing people react to them.

Best Regular: Mark
Best Guest: Par
Best Runner: Mark screwing with Celeste and Daphne.


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