Ah, yes. Graham Norton Hits QI. Quite the occasion.
Tonight’s episode features Dara, Graham Norton, and David Mitchell, so this will clearly be a pretty wild one to watch. You’ve got a quiet one liner machine, a loud one-liner machine, and a loud information machine. This will be interesting.
The buzzers are done in the style of University Challenge, except for Alan’s, who mistakenly thinks this is Blockbusters. Stephen does say that Alan’s actually a PhD, so his buzzers is an angry scotsman going “THA DOCTOR’LL SEE YA NOW!”
I love this. Stephen mentions that blocking the right nostril will make people instantly less happy. Alan takes this literally, blocks the right one, feigns sadness, and then takes the tissue out and starts smiling again.
Stephen: “Try and think of a really, really big number-”
Alan says, of raising children, that you shouldn’t have them watch television until they’re four.
Dara: “Oh, that is not how parenting works, my friend…you train them to like the television as quickly as they possibly can…”
Alan: “Because there was no ADHD until TV was invented.”
Dara: “They’re happy with HD, my friend.”
Graham: “I mean, if you have a child listen to ‘One Potato, Two Potato’, they’ll at least learn that…and could count potatoes…”
And then Graham turns to other irishman on his side, and they reminisce about potatoes.
Stephen: “Do you know about the English Motzarts? Do they mean anything to you?”
Man, that was almost a NMTB answer.
Alan: “My great-grandfather signed his marriage certificate with a cross.”
Stephen: “Of course, his name was Xavier…”
Graham: “He could have just used a pen.”
There are two ways of looking at a joke…
Stephen, on Mensa: “They used to be called MENS, which is Latin for mind, but they thought their magazine would look like some men’s special interest one…so they added an A…”
Graham: “Already, I’m not being filled with confidence that this is being run by geniuses.”
Man, Graham Norton really fits on this show.
Graham talks of a woman he did a game show with in America, whose father was a serial killer, and she didn’t tell her husband until after the wedding. He also mentioned the husband’s father committed suicide. “SO, YOU’VE GOT A SERIAL KILLER…AND A SUICIDAL MAN…AND YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD GENE POOL TO BE SPLASHIN’ AROUND IN??”
Stephen: “She’ll give birth to a child who kills himself LOTS OF TIMES!!”
Dara, to Graham: “When you say ‘not til after she married him’, HOW LONG…was it after the speeches? Did she go “uh, Dad’s about to say a few words, this might be worth catching…”
Graham: “This may explain why he went with orange…”
David: “What you’d do then is you’d have her cover as a Serial Killer Themed Wedding.”
Alan spots Rodney Bewes in the background of the Da Vinci photo, and David just goes on a tangent about how Bewes might have just gone back in time to check Da Vinci’s pulse, or Da Vinci “might have INVENTED the Likely Lads…’
David: “The one on the left is gesturing to Rodney Bewes, as if to say “LEONARDO, WHO’S THIS DICK??”
Graham: “And Da Vinci’s going “SERIOUSLY, RODNEY BEWES? YOU WANT RODNEY BEWES HERE, OF ALL PEOPLE?”
Alan: ‘Well, that’s Matthew Kelly anyway-”
Stephen: “NOO! DON’T!”
Stephen: “Now I’ve got a horrible feeling that the Brian Blessed on the end has had the top of his head sawed of. CAUSE ‘E’S NOUUUGHH LONGAAUUHH BRIAN BLESSID!”
Stephen, on Da Vinci’s nephew: ‘sadly he died at only age 22, leaving 20 works behind him.”
Alan, calling back to Mozart: “Pushed out a window by Michaelangelo.”
Stephen: “Or, possibly by Mozart.”
Alan: “WORKING IN TANDEM!”
David: “For having stolen…Rodney Bewes’ time traveling technology.”
Stephen: “The first cloned dog, from Korea, was called Snappy.”
Alan: “…and then they ate it…”
Great moment at the top of GI. Stephen asks the panel how old they are. Nobody buzzes in. Everybody thinks it’s a trap. Graham eventually buzzes in and goes “how old do I look?”
David, summing it up perfectly: “It just shows you the effect of this game, though. You ask a question, and all four of us think ‘that is something I definitely know the answer to, but I’m so UNCERTAIN…that I’m not even willing to give my own age, name or address.”
Dara: “HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY A TRAP! I *AM* THIRTY-SEVEN. YOU KNOW WHAT? (buzzes in) THIRTY SEVEN. THERE.”
(KLAXON: DARA- 37)
Stephen mentions a man named Spratt, who sold ‘dog cakes’, which confuses the hell out of Alan. He rewords it as dog biscuits. Alan goes “when you said ‘dog cakes’, I thought you meant it was made of dogs.”
David: “Dog biscuits are biscuits for dogs. Dog cakes are cakes that might have a layer of dog in them…”
Stephen says he loves watching golf.
Graham: “BUT WHY DO YOU WATCH IT?”
Stephen, matter-of-factly: “…the golf…”
Stephen: ‘And finally, how many brains did the man with two brains have?”
Stephen: “YES. THAT’S BRILLIANT.”
David, nearly tearing out his hair: “IT’S SO CRUEL!!!”
David: “It’s just the technique of the bully. You hit us, and then you go ‘oh, did you think I was gonna hit you???”
SOUND THE ALARM. ALAN DAVIES HAS WON THREE EPISODES IN A ROW!!!! I cannot, for the life of me, figure out exactly why this has occurred, but I’m happy it has.
Overall: An episode that continued the momentum from the Christmas show (“AAAHHHHLIIVIINNINAYELLOWSUBMARIINNNNEEE!!!”), and managed to have a really funny, well-balanced show. Graham had a very nice debut, and his humor really fits well with QI, because he’s very manic and also very good in terms of connecting. Dara had a quieter night but still had some great moments. David Mitchell’s performance tonight was an AMAZING return to form, having not been this dominant on a panel since the Film episode.
Best Guest: Graham
Show Winner: Alan
Best QI Fact: Da Vinci’s nephew.
Best Runner: Rodney Bewes