After an episode featuring three people who were intermittent, to this point anyway, we get right back into a semireg-heavy episode, featuring Sean Lock, his 3rd of the season, Rob Brydon, his 2nd of the season, and Jo Brand, her second of the season.
Stephen, after a very German-friendly intro, says he’ll be cracking down “on any mention…of the war. DON’T…MENTION…THE WAR. YOU HAVE BEEN WAR…NED.”
Stephen asks for a sentence featuring the correct usage of Schadenfreude.
Sean: “That statue’s all covered in Schadenfreude. Must have been a cold night.”
Alan: “Look at the size of my Schadenfreude.”
Jo: “I enjoyed the Schadenfreude I experienced when my husband was killed by a local gangster.
Stephen, somehow: “IS THE RIGHT ANSWER!”
Stephen: “How upset are the Germans about the 1966 World Cup.”
Rob: “Well, very, I would say.”
Rob just shakes his head.
Stephen says that the Germans care more about beating the Dutch than losing to England.
Sean: “Though, surely, the Dutch have never provided a great deal of opposition to them. Generally, in history, they’ve just walked into Holland whenever they’ve fancied it.”
Stephen, trying to set up a klaxon: “Oh, well in that sense.”
Sean, still rolling: “ANYTIME THEY WANT, THEY CAN JUST GO INTO HOLLAND, SPIN THE-”
The Klaxon does eventually go off, and Sean, ever the smartass, goes “I HAVEN’T MENTIONED IT YET!!!” I NEVER SAID IT!” All the while Rob is pointing at him, going ‘yeah, you did…’
Rob talks about wearing extra-long socks, saying “they do give you a feeling of security.”
Jo: “They do make you look like a knob-head.”
Jo and Rob do get into a rather large argument about the socks. Sean even goes “they don’t make you look cool.”
Rob: “Well at the risk of turning this into Ready, Steady, Cook, why don’t we let the audience decide?”
Stephen: “The Dutch were at war with Britain many times-”
Jo: “You mentioned the war.”
Stephen: “At war with, not THE war.”
Sean, pointing at Jo: “YOU DID.”
Rob: “Can I just say, Jo…bit of a knob-head.”
Stephen, on the mystery german innovation: “It’s to encourage men to do something when they’re in the toilet.”
Alan: “Is it the seat?”
Stephen: “It has to do with the seat.”
Sean: “They dive off it, into the toilet…”
Rob keeps carrying on about the magical sock experience.
Sean: “I just want to know what’ll happen to you, you know, when you try skydiving. You’ll go “WOW, THIS IS INCREDIBLE. FORGET THE SOCKS, THIS IS AMAZING!”
Rob: “I have been skydiving.”
Sean: “Have you tried jelly? That’s nice. “OH MY GOD! The SOCKS were good, THIS IS INCREDIBLE!”
Rob: “They laughed at Edison…”
Stephen: “Yes, they laughed at a lot of weirdoes as well.”
Sean says that nudism works better in Germany, “because Germans have decent summers…and if not, they just expand to somewhere where the summers are nicer.”
Stephen: “What’s the most repeated TV show of all time.”
Rob: “Top Gear. IT IS! There’s not a time of day where it is not possible to watch Top Gear.”
Stephen: “What does the airlift and Germany bring to mind?”
Sean: “Berlin Airlift.”
Stephen: “Right, and-”
Sean: “The war.”
Stephen: “NO, IT DOESN’T-”
Stephen mentions Captain Wiggly-wings throwing down candies to children in Germany.
Rob: “Can you imagine a Terry’s Chocolate Orange heading down at you at great speed?”
Stephen: “D’you see those boys holding up little-hanky-style parachutes?”
Rob: “That’s no match for a Terry’s Chocolate Orange.”
Sean: “Of course the Chocolate Orange could have landed like the bouncing bomb…like it did in the war.”
Stephen: “OH NOW NOW NOW-”
Stephen says there was a man who made prison escape kits out of Monopoly boards, and gave intricate designs to MI9
Alan: “So he’d use the Get out of Jail Free Card-”
Stephen: “He said that hidden in the Monopoly board were very useful things.”
Rob: “Like a small dog…and a little hat…and a tiny ship.”
Stephen: “Who wrote Brideshead Revisited?”
Sean: “It was Evelyn War.”
EVELYN WAR KLAXON
DON’T MENTION THE WAR KLAXON
Stephen: “What happens in Germany on the 11th of November at 11:11 every year.”
Alan: “Everysing carries on as Normal.”
Alan just gives this determined German look, which cracks me up.
Alan eventually answers, saying “the phone rings, and on the other end is the british prime minister going “hahahahahaha….we won.”
Jo somehow wins. Mostly because Sean pissed away his points by mentioning ze war.
Overall: Great episode getting us back on track after a slight step backward. It helped that the panel tonight was so on, humor wise and dynamic wise. Sean and Rob were wonderful, with Sean screwing with everyone and Rob arguing about socks. Jo gave a lot less during the later leg of the show, but still gave us funny stuff.
Best Guest: Sean
Show Winner: Jo
Best QI Fact: Nude house cleaners.
Best Runner: DON’T MENTION THE WAR.