We are TEN SEASONS INTO BUZZCOCKS! And I think there’s only one way to celebrate…WITH A BOY GEORGE EPISODE!!!
This is the start of Sean Hughes’ last series on Buzzcocks, and while he was wonderful, I am looking forward to the start of the Bill Bailey era on here. But still, let’s get to the episode.
Mari Wilson is a beehived hit maker from the 80’s and 70’s. Blade is an Armenian rapper, which puts him a notch above the Kardashians in terms of Armenian exports. Tommy Vance, a hard rock DJ legend, has been on the show before, but he was on an episode that was deemed too hot for Youtube (apparently).
Phill points out the point in the Cream video where a guy in the audience allegedly ‘ejaculates on that young lady’s glasses.’
Mark: “Well, when you go to see Cream, that’s what you do…”
George: “I love this shot of Eric’s bottom, which is very round and perfect.”
Phill: “It’s a bit blurry.”
George; “It wasn’t earlier…”
Mari: “Well, I used to babysit for Ginger Baker.”
Mark spit takes across the desk after hearing this.
Phill: ‘Did [Clapton] drink too much beer in the recording studio?”
Mari: “No, cause he did so much drugs. Beer wouldn’t stop him.”
Mari: “I reckon Keith Moon did kidnap him.”
Phill: “For what reason?”
George: “To look at his bottom.”
And George does the motion of a round ass. The guy’s hooked.
Mark: “His full moon.”
George complains about a ‘fly in his chardonnay’, and pours it all out onto the floor.
Mark: “Oh, that’s a good idea. Pour it out near where all the electric cables are…”
Mark: “You got an extra hat?”
George: “I got a big bed.”
Mark: “You’ll be lonely in it tonight…”
George: “But I only wanted to cuddle…”
Mark, disappointed: “I WANTED SEX!”
Sean, to Blade: “Have you ever done any road rage?”
Blade: “I can’t even drive. I’m still catching a bus.”
Sean: “Ah, that must get ya REALLY angry.”
Mark: “Blade, have you ever done any songs about drive-by shootings? Because now that people know you’re on the bus, it’s not so threatening…”
Mark: ‘The answer is that drummer Danny Goffey threw a punch at a car…WHICH IS QUITE DUMB, ISN’T IT?”
George, pre-intros: “Can I show the back of me jacket first?”
George turns around. His jacket reads ‘EARTH GIRLS R EASY’
Mark: “How would you know?”
After a very inspired, but not very good, intro.
Mari: “Can you do it again, but with more conviction?”
George: “Oh, fuck off.”
After George cuddles up to Phill
Mark: “Can I say. You are the skillful gay of Britain. You’ve got three straight men fighting over who gets you…HATS OFF TO GEORGEY!”
George, after Blade’s beatboxing: “You have to hear what Mari just said…”
Mari: “I said that his mouth is very malleable.”
Blade: “You won’t be the first woman to say that. (beat) What does malleable mean?”
Sean: “For #2, can we break tradition a little bit-”
Mark: “And not do it?”
Mari: “#3 looks Spanish, though.”
George, trying to get his attention: “Mantequilla para gallleta.”
Mari: “Mantequilla…that’s butter…”
Mark: “OH HOLD ON…I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE REST OF IT MEANS…”
Phill: “#4 was in Shrek!”
Mark: “Foghorn Shrekhorn!”
Tommy: “They all look like newsreaders of of BBC 24”
Sean, confused: “…no they don’t…”
Sean: “What about those pockets they have there. What kind of tools could they put in the-SHUT UP GEORGE!”
Next Lines: “Living after midnight, rocking til the dawn.”
Sean: “Your kind of night, Tommy. Tell ’em what it is.”
Tommy: “Don’t remember.”
Sean: “Come on, it’s Judas Priest!”
Tommy: “Oh, is it? Okay.”
Sean: “WHAT KIND OF MUSIC DO YOU LIKE???”
Mark, bringing back his demonic voice from 9×09: “LIVING AFTER MIDNIGHT, ROCKING TIL THE DAWN.”
Mark: “Can I get one of those big megaphones so that Tommy can PLAY this game?”
Tommy: “I can lip-read.”
Mark, with the card in front of his mouth: “There’s no regrets…”
Mark: “I, I will be king.”
Then Mark realizes exactly what he’s been set up for and goes ‘oh, god.”
George, smiling: “AND YOU…YOU WILL BE QUEEN.”
Mark: “I WILL NOT!!!”
Mark’s signoff is “I’ve been Mark Lamarr….SECURITY!!!” (runs away from George)
Overall: HUGE show to break us into Series 10. It helped that Boy George was back, and was totally himself, but it helped more that the panel was strong around him, with Tommy giving some funny stuff (unintentionally mostly), Mari contributing a lot, and Blade at least having a nice time. But still, this was George’s show, and literally everyone got in on the fun.
Best Regular: Mark
Best Guest: George (ya big poof)
Best Runner: George flirting with everybody.