Nevermind Watchdown: S1OE8, or A Field Guide to Stealth Bombers

Onto another episode, featuring another appearance from Paul Young, a musician who was good enough his last time out.

Christian Ingebrigtsen was in A1, along with Mark’s favorite one Ben. Dave Johns is a comedian and panel show staple. June Sarpong is, of course, another MTV presenter.

Sean, on Adam Ant: “You worked with him in the early days, right?”
Paul: “Yeah, I did, which makes it very difficult for me to comment on him in his current status.”
Sean, sarcastic: ‘Why, what happened?”

Mark, on Adam Ant’s look: “So if the police ask for any distinguishing features, they’ll say ‘he had a white stripe across his nose…”
Sean: “The white stripe was a brilliant look but it had many restrictions. For instance, you couldn’t park on him back half six at night…”
Mark, to the camera: “Sean’s thinking of yellow lines.”
June: “Close enough.”
Mark: “No, not close enough. The yellow ones run down the middle, June. Your boyfriend helps run the country, June, and you don’t know this! June’s boyfriend’s an MP. She’s had the loins of our country in her…”

Dave sees a ‘stealth bomber’ closing in in the Toploader video, and says they’re trying to hide it behind ‘a couple of trees and a garage.”
Mark: “I think you don’t actually need to hide a stealth bomber. They’re not invisible in real life. They’re only invisible to radar, otherwise you’d just see a pilot in the sky…”
Dave: “Looking down, AAAAGHHH…”

Dave notices they’re spreading leaves, so he goes “DEEEA THIRTY-FIVE IN THE BEEG BROTHA HOUSE…the housemates are spreading leaves around the house so they can spend the rest of the show like tiny little woodland creatures.”
Christ, this guy is a slightly-more-coherent Johnny Vegas.

June, trying to place the Pulp song: “It’s about…the one…he liked a girl when…she was younger…”
Mark: ‘That’s a Gary Glitter song you’re thinking of.”

Mark’s name for #5 in the ‘Sugar’ ID Parade is “#5, DAHLING YOU GOT TO LET ME KNOW (guitar clip) SUGAH STAY OR SUGAH GO.”

June: “#2 looks like he’s about to fall over.”
Sean: “THEY ALL look like they’re about to fall over!”
Mark: “Well, except for #5, he’s got something to support him.”
(#5’s the only one with a harp.)

Sean: “D’you think #5 carries his harp around with him just to say ‘this is my height!”
Mark: “His parents bought him that when he was young, and said “as soon as you can reach this, you can have the house!”

Dave: “What we should do is have ’em all fight, and the one that survives…”
Mark: “Is allowed to be in Champ 69. That’s a nice way of working it out. I wish I’d thought of that with the Temperant Seven [the last ID Parade act]. Wouldn’t it be great to smash a banjo ’round another man’s head?”

Phill: “It’s #3”
Christian: “But look at 2, 4, and 5. They look very calm. But #1 looks very uneasy.”
Mark: “That’s true, but…”
Phill: “Yeah, but #3, ya see, was in Champ 69…”
Mark: “And that’s a much better way of guessing…”

Dave: “Maybe if you went over and licked each of their faces there’d be some residue left over from the punk era.”
Phill: “MAYBE IF *YOU* WENT OVER THERE AND LICKED THEIR FACES!!!”

Next Lines, Mark: “I remember when rock was young.”
Dave and Phill in unison: “Me and Suzy had so much fun.”
Mark: “No. [beat] just kidding, you’re right…”

Christian, justifying an A1 lyric slip-up: “I didn’t write those lyrics.”
Mark: “Yeah, but you must have heard them before…”

After Paul does a verse in a German accent, Mark just goes, in a very strict German accent: ‘Laurel und Hardy ANUDDER FINE MESH YOU’D GOTTEN ME INTOOO!!!”
Phill: “Now, Eva’s coming for DINNER…I don’t want YOU in da way, Goebbels…”
Mark: “I hope da Allied Powuhs don’t see us on TV, then we’ll be in…A WHOLE HEAP’A TROUBLE!”
Dave, in a perfect Stan Laurel voice: “AH’VE LOST DA TANKS!”

Dave: “See, ya can’t fear them if ya make fun of them?”
Mark: “What, d’ya fear Rommel?”
Dave: “Yeah.”
Mark: “He’s dead!”
Dave, faux-surprise: “IS HE? OH THANK GOD!”
Mark: “That’s gonna be a wipe off your mind tonight.”
Dave: “So they’re just BUSES going by my room, not tanks??”
Mark: “THEY’RE STEALTH BUSES!”
Dave: “Well, maybe it’s a stealth Rommel!”
Mark: “Well, if he’s dead then it doesn’t matter. If it’s an invisible dead man, what’s the fear?”
Dave: “You could trip over him…”

Mark, after a good 30 seconds of laughter, goes “we’re lucky we’ve got him before they wear off…”
He then realizes he’s gone for minutes without continuing the round, and goes ‘QUICK FIRE!”

Mark: “I’m 18 with a bullet.”
Sean: “I would have preferred a bicycle actually, DAD!”

Overall: A pretty nice episode that picked up a TON of momentum as it went on, especially thanks to some great running gags, and some awesome Dave Johns lines. Dave, by the way, is one of the funniest comedians to come on the show in a while, and does Johnny Vegas’ schtick much better than Johnny does. June was aloof, Paul was awesome, Christian didn’t give too much. It was just a really nice, funny episode.

Best Regular: Mark
Best Guest: Dave
Best Runner: Stealth bombers (and Stealth Rommel)

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2 thoughts on “Nevermind Watchdown: S1OE8, or A Field Guide to Stealth Bombers

    • Yeah, boggles the mind considering he’s, imo, one of the funnier recurring guests of the Lamarr era. I never would have figured he’d have such a great dramatic performance in him.

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