Nevermind Watchdown: S11E7, or Bill, WOULD YOU AND WAYNE’S WORLD DO A SONG??

Bit of an odd panel, this one. A heavy metal legend on one side, a comedy legend on the other. Should be fun either way.

Neil Innes was the unofficial seventh member of Monty Python, writing most of the songs, and also joining Eric Idle in The Rutles. Emma B’s a TV presenter and not, as I assumed, Baby Spice. Sebastian Bach is a rock legend, fronting Skid Row. Dave Fulton’s an American comedian, which is nice.

On a naked, street-walking Lisa Stansfield:
Neil: “Personally, I think that all she wants to do is just make the world a better place…”
Phill: “I think she’s about to bump into Richard Ashcroft from the Verve comin’ the other direction…”
Mark: “Is that why he looks so unhappy in the video? Because he can see her out of the…”

Mark, revealing that Billy Joel was the right answer: “In 1970, after the failure of his first band, and being dumped by his girlfriend, both of which he deserved-”
The whole studio just stops and cracks up at this point. Nobody can believe it.

Sebastian: “Was Slipknot part of the Queen’s Jubilee?”
Mark: “I didn’t see it. They probably did a Motown tribute or something…”

The visual of Dave, Bill and Sebastian all banging their heads, long hair swinging everywhere, is one of the best this show’s had in a while. Bill calls them “what would happen if the Three Wise Men stopped off at a kibbutz!”
Phill: “We followed a star, and we bring ketamin, heroin and cocaine!”
Mark: “AND ROCK!!!”
Bill: “We can make ‘im whistle for that myhrr…hehehehehe…”
Sebastian: “We’re like the Bee-Gees on acid. I’m Barry, [Dave] is Maurice…no, wait, I’m Robin, I’m the effeminate one.”
Phill: “People watching at home are going ‘wow, Bananarama have really let themselves go…”

Bill gets Sebastian to give Bill, momentarily, some of his hair, to “remember what hair looks like”. The image of Sebastian throwing his hair on Bill’s forehead is another one that makes me laugh very hard.

Neil, on an intro: “bum..tit…bum..tit…bum..tit…”
Emma: “Are you saying BUM-TIT?”
Phill: “If you want…”

Sebastian steps up to do an intro, puts his foot on the desk, like he’s ready.
Mark: “Sebastian…when you did that, your cucumber slipped a little.”
Sebastian, going over to Mark: “I need some adjustment.”
Mark: “GET OFF…”
Sebastian eventually slinks back to his spot, at which point an exasperated Mark yells “BILL, WILL YOU AND WAYNE’S WORLD DO A SONG??”

Dave is trying to get the intro from Sebastian and Bill. Sebastian, giving him a clue, says “IMEDLA MARCOS!” Bill goes “no, no no no no, that’s Phillippines.”
Mark: “You’re thinking other side of the world, there.”
Dave, summing Sebastian up: “Once again the geography question has reared its ugly head and stumped the American.”

After an intro featuring some head-banging from all three on Bill’s team.
Phill: “Talk about subliminal advertising. People at home writing “ooh, conditioner…”

ID Parade:
Sebastian: “#1’s David Bowie after a couple of hamburgers…”
Mark: “In what respect? Not facially.”

Sebastian: “I’ve never heard of thwack…”
Mark: “It’s what a cleft-palate drug addict takes…”
Sebastian, wincing at that joke: “Aw, JEEZ…”

Next Lines: “When you’re in love with a beautiful woman.”
Bill: “You use binoculars.”

Mark: “We spend our lives on trial.”
Sebastian, full scream: “WE ARE THE YOUTH GONE WILD!”
Mark: “Uh…no…”
Sebastian slams his head on the desk.
Mark, to Phill: “That’s a Skid Row song, too. No, it’s ‘we walk an endless mile.”
Sebastian: “It’s my song, and I fucked it up…”

Mark, after a disastrous Bill’s side Next Lines, to Phill: “Well, it gives me great pleasure tonight to tell you that you’ve won, whatever happens. You need five points, and if it takes us weeks, YOU’LL GET EM.”

Mark: “What songs d’you know, Neil?”
Neil: “Hardly any. I don’t even know what channel we’re on.”

After another fairly easy Next Line for Phill, Sebastian: “What’s next, Happy Birthday?”
Mark: “YOU HAD ONE OF HIS! ONE OF HIS AND YOU GOT IT WRONG!! I noticed as soon as i said ‘homecoming queen’, THESE TWO pipe up…”

Mark: ‘I’m sorry mom, I never meant to hurt you.:
Phill: “I didn’t mean to be a 14-pound baby.”

Overall: Another really fun episode, helped by a really fun, solid panel. True, it seems like the imbalance was up again, as Bill’s panel was hysterical and fun and Phill’s was fun…but not as. Neil and Emma were great, but Sebastian, Dave and Bill were just so ON tonight, that it was embarrassing for the other team. Sebastian was unhinged, and Dave had a ton of nice lines.

Best Regular: Bill
Best Guest: Sebastian
Best Runner: Bill’s team as the three wise men.



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