From one episode with a ridiculously imbalanced panel to another. Tonight, ON ONE PANEL, we have NMTB-famous gravelly-voiced canadian Mike Wilmot, and ACTUAL-FAMOUS Backstreet Boy Nick Carter. THIS, if anything, will be interesting.
JJ Burnel is the bassist for The Stranglers. Nicholas Parsons hosted Sale of the Century forever.
Nicholas: “There were actually elephants in East Anglier. Did you know that?”
Bill: “No, I didn’t know that. Is that why it’s so flat?”
That’s the kind of answer you’d find on QI.
On the Wu-Tang Clan:
Mike: “In North America, Poo-Tang is for pussy. I believe the pronunciation though is, PUSS-AY!”
Mark: “Also, it’s poon-tang, not poo-tang. That’s an entirely different thing. That’s the back entrance.”
Phill: “Wu-tang, which sounds oriental, and you’re saying poo-tang. Is there some sort of martial art involving ladies’ parts, based around the vagina. They’re called Minjas.”
Phill: “This is a whole new theory as to why the dinosaurs became extinct. It’s because they were hanging around with the bloody Wu-Tang Clan. I mean, it’s not an easy life…”
Nick: “Please, you know I’m down with the homies.”
Mike, not understanding: “You go down on the homies?”
Nick: “No, down WITH…”
Mark: “It’s a different thing, Mike. When they say “I’m about to bust a cap in your ass”, it’s a different thing…”
Mark, to Nicholas: “You’re 73, right?”
Nicholas: “I beg, ji-what?”
Mark, to the camera: “Exactly.”
After another random Intros guess from Nicholas.
Mark: ‘Have you got grandchildren, Nicholas.”
Nicholas: “Yes, I have.”
Mark: “Did you ask them for a list of recent songs before you came on…”
Nicholas: “I follow the Sugarbabes-I’d LIKE to follow the Sugarbabes…”
Bill: “Yes, but there’s a restraining order…”
Mike is flabbergasted by Nick and Phill’s first intro. He even goes “isn’t that the sound fat people make when they walk.”
Nick’s reaction is priceless. He doubles over in laughter, then realizes he’s standing next to Phill, and politely pats him on the shoulder.
Mark, on a whim, throws it back to Nicholas, saying “HE’LL KNOW!”
Nicholas: “Oh, I don’t know…”
Bill, whispering: “Master of Puppets, by Metallica…”
Nicholas, confidently by still confused: “Master of Puppets, by Britannica.”
Great moment. After Intros, Phill’s team sits down. Mike and Phill are laughing about how Mike couldn’t get any, and Phill turns to Nick, knowing he just flat out sang What’s Up after a while, and goes “lovely voice.” I love when a panel can get along this well.
Mark, in the ID Parade for Mark’s group, knows the guy literally has not changed a bit since ‘Just Say No’ came out, so when he gets to him, #2, he just gives away that it’s him, saying “or is it #2, *ZAMMO*!”
Bill: “What was the song they were singing just then?”
Mark: “Just say no.”
Bill: “Say no to what?”
Mark: “Drugs. That may be news to you, Bill…”
Mark: “Nicholas, did you see Grange Hill?”
Nicholas: “No, I was too old.”
Mark: “Okay, well if you didn’t see it, #2 was Zammo…”
Nicholas: “Why is one of them wearing a green blazer and the other four have got black blazers on.”
Mark: “I wouldn’t worry about him. He’s not Zammo.”
Nicholas: “Listen, you shouldn’t listen to what Mark says, he’s trying to put you off.”
Mark: “Yeah, it wouldn’t at all be #2, the instantly recognizable Zammo…”
At this point #2 can’t help but crack up.
Nicholas: “#5 has the look of ‘I was an actor once.'”
Mark: “Yes, they ARE actors, and #2 played Zammo in Grange Hill!”
Overall: A very nice show, if imperfect. Phill, Mike and Nick were all a lot of fun, and Nicholas was great in his general befuddlement. JJ was kind of quiet, and Nick wasn’t the personality I thought he’d be, but it was still a fun show, fueled by the Zammo ID Parade, too.
Best Regular: Bill
Best Guest: Mike
Best Runner: Nicholas doesn’t know anything from this century.