Nevermind Watchdown: S12E1

Onto Series 12, after one of the most ridiculous Christmas episodes in the show’s history. This also counts as the first episode of 2003, and the 100th episode of the entire show. And what better way to celebrate than rolling Richard Fairbrass back out here?

Suzi Perry’s a TV presenter, now covering Formula One. John Otway’s a 70’s-80’s pop-rock singer with an odd reputation. Charlie Simpson is the lead singer of Busted.

The opening of the episode is a skit featuring Mark, Bill and Phill about the invention of sound, and the subsequent 1900’s version of NMTB, where they’re all basically doing the same things. Fairbrass is even in there.

Suzi, on Springsteen and Jerry Lee Lewis: “I think it’s cheese. Philadelphia cheese, and Great cheese balls of fire.”
Mark: “I…I don’t think…”
Suzi: “You know, little cheesy footballs. Phill, you’ve had them, haven’t you?”

Phill: “There’s bit in the Springsteen video where he passes a children’s school, so maybe that’s the connection. Trolling for wives.”
Mark: “TROLLING. Like Bill does, under the bridge?”
Bill just glares at him.

Bill, summing up his team: “Now over to my team, which is now resembling a klingon nonce…with Prince William and Doctor Evil.”
Richard: “I don’t feel like Prince William…well, that’s not true, actually…”

Suzi, to Charlie: “Do you have any idea who either of them are?”
Charlie: “I know Springsteen.”
Mark: “No, she meant them too” motioning to Bill and Richard.

A bit tragic that Motorhead is in Connected this episode, as Lemmy did in fact pass on a few days ago. Of course, knowing Mark and Phill (and Richard cause he was there), there will probably be some Lemmy-bashing.

Sure enough, Richard actually reveals that Lemmy walked off after they’d finished filming, though “he probably thought we still were, hoping to make a scene.”
Phill: “He sorta walked out of the studio with his Jack Daniels and his roadies, and Fairbrass came behind me and went “I think he’s OVERCOMPENSATING FOR SOMETHING!”

Bill points out the bit with Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker in the Weezer video, and says “Richard, that’s a clip of you and Chris Evans there…”
He also points out, in the shot of a headless Beaker, “Chris Evans’ head falls off later.”
Mark: “Aww, there IS a Santa.”
Bill: “Billie Piper’s blown his ‘ead off!”
Mark: “I bet she has. Why’dyou think he married her?”

Bill, on the shot of Lemmy’s head tilted upward.
Bill: “I always thought Lemmy had a really long tongue, cause if he put his head down, it’d roll out…”
Mark, not missing an easy opportunity: “It’d be like Jamie Oliver.”

After Charlie reveals he’s still in high school,
Mark: “John, what’d you want to be when you were still in school?”
John: “Pop star!”
Mark: “And then when the sad realization kicked in, what’d you decide?”

Richard, guessing Phill’s intro: “It’s from before Charlie was born, we think.”
Suzi: “That could be anything from 2000 upwards, though…”

John: “#1 does look the most rock’n’roll, though.”
Suzi: “Center parting does look pretty rock and roll.”
Phill: “Center parting also could mean ‘second division football player.’

John actually reminds the panel that he was part of an ID Parade lineup once.
Mark: “Whose lineup were you on?”

Of course, as a reversal, Bill’s ID Parade lineup is for Jimmy Constable, who was a panelist a few seasons ago. Cruel twist of fate there.

Richard: “I know who I think, but I’m not gonna say it.”
Mark: “Well done. You know who you THINK it is.”
Richard: “I know who I’d PLUM for…”

Fairbrass, reaching a verdict: “That’s my favorite, #2…FOR THE ANSWER, SO DON’T GET YOUR HOPES UP #2.”
Phill: “Fairbrass is already planning- “I’ll talk to him about what it’s like to not be in the charts, and be out of the limelight, then I’m put an arm around him…a comforting hand, cradling his knackers…”

Next Lines: “Come and smile, don’t be shy.”
Bill: “Let’s have a look…blimey!”
Mark: “Bill, you think the second line of every song goes ‘HERE WE ARE! WELL!”

Mark: “Cause you’re my mate.”
Richard: “And I will stand by you.”
Mark: “Yeah, or as Bill said “HEY! WHERE YOU BEEN!”

Overall: A very fun 100th episode, with a ton of nice references to past episode, great turns from John, Charlie and Suzi, and another stellar Fairbrass appearance. Not exactly as good as Fairbrass’ last go around (featuring Phil Alexander and the lightning crackles.), but still fun.

Best Regular: Bill
Best Guest: Richard
Best Runner: Mark’s Bjork voice.


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