Nevermind Watchdown: S12E5, or THIS is the night you were born!

Not only does this episode feature three people that I’ve written about before, but one of them happens to be Jimmy Carr. So that’s pretty awesome there.

The other three are presenter Claudia Winkleman, Moloko’s Roisin Murphy, and R&B/soul singer Lisa Stansfield. All but Stansfield have been on before.

Mark, confirming that either Flock of Seagulls or Hall & Oates caught notorious Australian, “The Rusty Gun Bandit”
Bill: “Well, it doesn’t say how rusty- How rusty was the gun? Surely it’s a very poorly maintained firearm. It’s not actually going to work. Or he was a gun bandit, so he hadn’t done it for a while, so he was a bit rusty…”

After Bill says it’s Hall and Oates.
Claudia: “Do we get a point if we think it’s the other folk?”
Mark, knowing the answer: “Yeah.”
Claudia does actually give a pretty good reason as to why it would have been Flock of Seagulls.
Mark: “Well, the answer…is Hall and Oates.”

Phill: “I understand that [Craig David’s] pubes are shaved into an exact replica of the Hampton Court maze.”
Mark: “So the lice can’t escape?”

Jimmy: “Apparently Robbie Williams’ Angels is the #1 most requested song for funerals. Presumably, people are saying “over my dead body.”
Man, he’s so good for this show that Mark might have even written something close to that.

Claudia, still trying to defend Robbie Williams to Mark: “But Robbie is also a rebel-”
Mark: “How is he a rebel?? HE DANCES AND SINGS! Gandhi was a rebel. MANDELA was a rebel. HE’S an idiot!”
Claudia: “But he dyed his hair-”
Mark: “WOOOOOWWWWW!! GANDHI DIDN’T EVEN HAVE ANY!! THAT’S WHY HE WAS A REBEL. He was a rebel against HAIR…and the imperial yolk of British rule…”

Claudia gets up to do Intros, and we see that she’s incredibly pregnant. So as she’s dancing to the first one, Mark stops her.
Mark: “Claudia, could you please…just not dance for the rest of this? Cause FROM HERE… I mean, nothing in the world more beautiful than seeing that, but from the back…it looks like you’re trying to force it out from the wrong exit… Hey, when he’s old enough you can play him this video!”
Claudia: “I’m just getting involved.”
Mark, as Claudia keeps dancing: ‘THIS IS THE NIGHT YOU WERE BORN!”
Claudia, now cracking up and still doing guitar: “KA-WANG!”
Mark: “It was a period in my life where I would say ‘KA-WANG” for a living. I was booked on various novelty shows. I was known as the KA-WANG woman. And whatever people did I’d say KA-WANG! Then you popped out and changed things forever…”
Jimmy: “Isn’t that a Muslim Holy Book?”
Mark: ‘The KaWang? Yes.”

After the ‘Build Me Up Buttercup’ Intro, Mark comes over and literally starts singing the song against the actual song, wildly and with a Mic, TO CLAUDIA AND PHILL. It’s a wonderful moment, and you can tell how much fun Mark is having.

Claudia: “#3 looks like he’s got good fingers.”
Jimmy: “Are you feeling slightly hormonal??”

Mark, introing the MJ impersonators: “Now, we didn’t want the real Michael Jackson in the studio, because we’ve already got Claudia dangling one over the balcony…”

Mark, Next Lines: “Your butt is mine. It is Michael Jackson.”
Bill: “Your butt is mine, half your nose, two ears and a leg…”

Overall: Another strong episode, mostly helped by Phill’s panel, featuring a very in-his-element Jimmy Carr, and a very pregnant and Mark-baiting Claudia. Roisin and Lisa were good, but quieter.

Best Regular: Mark
Best Guest: Claudia
Best Runner: Claudia’s having the baby.



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