Nevermind Watchdown: S13E4 or QUACK-QUACK…COW…COWS GO MOO.

Onto another one. Josie D’arby is our only returnee here, but that’s not all bad. Jane McDonald is a daytime TV star and cruise ship singer, Gavin Webster’s a Geordie comedian, and Joel Pott’s the lead singer of Athlete.

The episode begins with a clip from The Weakest Link, a question “Who Hosts the TV Quiz Show Nevermind The Buzzcocks.” It cuts to Mark in the studio going “ME. ME. ME-ME. I am officially trivia.”

On Rod Stewart:
Jane: “There’s something quite sexy about him, don’tcha think?”
Bill: “WHAT?”
Jane: “Oh, maybe not.”
Bill: “D’you think he’s sexy?”
Jane: “I think there’s something about…yeah, I’d do ‘im.”
Bill: “D’you mean cover one of his songs, or…”
Jane: “I won’t be that awful to him, I bless…”

Jane: “Well, I’m not tall enough, and he likes blondes…”
Mark: “Would you go below deck?”
Jane: “…see me later…”
Mark: “I don’t think so…”

Mark, on a whim, intros the P. Diddy clip as “There he was, just a-walking down the streets, singing P Wa Diddy Daddy Sean Puffy Combs.”

Okay, this is one of the most insane bits we’ve had in a while, so buckle up.
Mark hears that Josie’s an accomplished singer. So he wants her to sing intros. She doesn’t want to. So, he pushes for Bill’s team to do Old McDonald, and she just do the “quack quack” sound. So, Jane, Bill and Gavin start singing, Bill doing a full jug band thing. They get to “on his farm he had a duck, EIEIO, with a-”
Josie: “MMMOOOO….”
The entire studio breaks down, especially Jane.

Josie: “But it’s the cow first.”
Mark: “WE SAID DUCK! WE SAID DUCK! And before we did it, I said “You can do the QUACK QUACK bit”. And somehow in your pea-brain, you were thinking “quack-quack…cow…cows go MOO!” [Jane] sold MILLIONS. MILLIONS. She joins in, Bill’s doing a fake jug band. [Gavin’s] a top-rated comedian on other shows. We’re all trying to help you overcome your fear…’a duck says MOOOO….”

Phill: “WIPEOUT! Nanananaaaananananananaaaa…”

Josie: “The computers are down up there, so I’m doing it manually…they’re getting to it though…”
Mark: “Josie, as long as you find it funny, we’re happy.”

Josie: “It’s a song with a guitar in it.”
Phill: “Good start.”
Josie: “Powers of deduction.”
Mark: “WOW! She’s the black Miss Marple!”

Phill, ID Parade: “Josie, use your incredible powers.”
Mark: “Oh, she’ll go full moo-moo. Boy, it’d be incredible if it was the KLF.”
Okay, *I* laughed at that one. Took me a sec, but I laughed.

Joel: “I think it’s #4, because if you look at his ears, those are bassist ears, they go inward. All bassists have those ears.”
Mark, sarcastically: “It’s a well known fact.”
Phill: “I’m going for #2, because…that’s the bloke.”

Mark, Next Lines: “Fly to El Salvador”
Joel: “Dunno why, dunno what for.”
Josie: “And never fly back.”
Mark: “Yeah, but it’s his song. And the one you did isn’t a song.”

Mark: “The lights are much brighter there.”
Bill: “In…”
Mark: “In the lamp shop. I’m just doing it before he does…”

Overall: Lighter, but oh my gosh that Josie moment changed everything. That entire bit was the crux of that episode, and powered things forward. Josie was wonderfully silly, especially with that cow moment, and Jane was having a ton of fun, especially in ID Parade. Gavin was funny but did a lot less, same with Joel.

Best Regular: Mark
Best Guest: Josie
Best Runner: Josie is Miss Marple.

3 thoughts on “Nevermind Watchdown: S13E4 or QUACK-QUACK…COW…COWS GO MOO.

  1. That’s not The Weakest Link, although I really don’t blame you at all for confusing that show with the one in the opening and closing seconds of the episode. The show is actually called Judgemental, and as you can see it was hosted by future Buzzcocks guest Nick Knowles.

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