They didn’t have episode 5, and that was a Mike Wilmot episode, so I’m kinda shaken, but we’re onto an episode featuring Vic Henley, Myleene, and Andy Bell, lead singer of Erasure. Also, Sinitta, an American black pop singer, is here.
On Christina Aguilera
Vic: “Is she slutty or just confused?”
Mark: “…I’ll pass that question over…
Andy: “I think she’s very slutty.”
Mark: “Alright. She’s slutty, I’m confused.”
Mark: “Is being a hooker slutty? Because they never trick you into anything…”
Bill: “YES THEY DO! I mean, uh…”
Phill: “Redman’s in the video here.”
Cut to him punching out a guy in a rabbit suit.
Vic: “That’s him going “Happy Easter, motherfucker. I’m a muslim!”
Myleene and Mark have a disagreement about the signs in the video, and the question. After a second, he turns to the camera and goes “we’ve got a new So-Solid Crew member”, referencing Megaman.
Mark: “Christina Aguilera has two dogs named Stinky and Chewie. Aw, that’s sweet, naming ’em after her ass cheeks…”
Mark: “Was it A, he was chased off by a tiger that had escaped from the opening circus act.”
Bill, making a note: ‘tiger…”
Mark: What…[starts cracking up.]
Bill: “WHAT? LET ME DO IT MY WAY!!”
Mark: “How many women have you said that to? ‘TONIGHT, I SHALL FUCK YOU AS A HUNCHBACK RICHARD THE THIRD!”
Bill: “Yes, and I will pay you in honey.”
Mark completely loses it here “BILL’S GOT A BEE-HOOKER! Does she die straight afterwards??”
Vic: “Only if he leaves his stinger in…”
Bill: “She said ‘I sting you long time…'”
Mark: “She’s now a Thai bee hooker…”
Mark, eventually getting to C: “Or, is it C…”, and he stops to recollect his composure, “A bee sting.”
Bill cracks up at this.
For Phill’s 2nd intro, Mark starts singing ‘Hit the Road Jack’, to throw Vic off…then he starts doing it really animated-like, throwing in a “WHACHOOSAAYYY!”
Vic: “Ray Charles, Hit the Road Jack?”
Mark: “No, that’s what I was doing, but it MUST have been off-putting.”
On the Wings ID Parade, Vic: “This is like the ugliest boy band I’ve ever seen.”
Mark: “And coming from Alabama, that’s saying something.”
Andy: “#5 is really handsome.”
Mark: “You see…it’s not that sort of lineup Andy…”
Mark, Next Lines: “If you win, you get this shiny fiddle made of gold.”
Vic: “But if you lose, the devil gets your soul.”
Instead of the ‘end of round’ music, the fiddle solo from ‘The Devil Went Down To Georgia’ starts playing, which cracks Vic up.
Mark: “He’s gotta be big and strong.”
Bill: “To…lift this massive log.”
Overall: Other than some Vic lines and the Bee Hooker bit, not a ton in this one. Myleene’s great in her general demeanor, and Vic’s hysterical, but this was a rather dull show. Andy disappointed me- for the guy who SANG IN ERASURE, you have to be more over-the-top than that. Sinitta didn’t do much either.
Best Regular: Mark
Best Guest: Vic
Best Runner: Vic from Alabama.