(Mr.) Nevermind Watchdown: S14E10, or SPIT OUT THE STRAW!

Bad news is Episode 9’s evading me. Good news is we’re skipping right to Episode 10, featuring the most inexplicable panel combination in NMTB history.

Mike Peters sang lead with the Alarm, of 68 Guns fame. Additionally, Fearne Cotton’s on Bill’s panel, which is always fun. But that pales in comparison to Phill’s. ON ONE TEAM…we have the master of dry humor, Rich Hall, and the ruby-throated booze-hound Amy Winehouse. This…is gonna be good.

Phill: “I mean, Lou Reed’s said to have had affairs with David Bowie…”
Amy: (high pitched MMMM)
Phill: “And Iggy Pop”
Amy: (higher pitched MMMM)
Phill: “The hell is that?”
Amy: “That’s my jewish mother cluck noise, like MMMMMM.”
Mark: “I thought i’d brought a really cheap box of fireworks in tonight.”

Phill: “Bowie you can sort of see. Gentle englishman. “Oh…Yes….Oh…” But WHO’D HAVE SEX WITH IGGY POP? He’s like “RUUUAAAAAUUUGHHHH!”
Mark: “Hold up. I like the way that you did, quite a touching impression of Bowie being buggered there. “OOOOHHH….OHHHH YOU PRETTY THING…” Is this based on something? Is this The Secret Diaries of Adrian Jupitus?”
Phill: “YES!”
Mark: “Gays don’t want to just sleep with everyone…as you know, Phill.”

Phill: “Oh, to get passed over by Iggy….”
Mark: “Is that a Jewish festival?”
Amy even nods approvingly.

Mark asks if anything Amy says is taking out-of-context.
Amy: “I was quoted in saying Dido was bland and Posh was an idiot…”
Mark: “How is that EVER out of context?”

Bill: “David Bowie, he is the chameleon of pop. And you know how to kill a chameleon, right? You put it on a two-toned suit. It’ll go “RED! BLUE! RED! BLUE!”

Bill’s panel keeps playing with the bit in the China Girl video where his chinese girlfriend jumps up quickly out of bed and David spits his straw out, like other things he could react to. Some of them best ones.
Bill: ‘David, there’s no horse in horseradish!’ “WHAT?” (Mark goes ‘in China there is…’)
Bill: “What do you mean there’s a train service in Gatwick that’s cheaper than Gatwick Express?”
Phill: “I’ll have a go at this, this seems like a laugh: ‘David, behind you! Iggy Pop!”
Bill: “Alright, one more. “I’M ACTUALLY…A BLOKE!” “WHAT?”
Phill: “I think Rich has got one.”
Rich: “Ready? “SPIT OUT THE STRAW!””

Mark: “In a way, David Bowie’s music is a perfect reflection of this program. If I look to my left, I see a Space Oddity.”
(Bill’s expression drops.)
Mark: “If I look at Phill’s pants- clearly Under Pressure.”
(Phill just nods. The fat jokes don’t even bother him anymore.)

Thankfully Intros is back this week, but instead they’re doing Instrumental Breaks. As long as the round still exists.

Amy: “You start, I’ll come onto you.”
Phill: “WILL YOU NOW???”
Mark: “They’re all the same, aren’t they, women?”

Rich makes a point that no heroin addict has no hair. “Look at Iggy Pop, Lou Reed, all luxurious heads of hair, all heroin addicts. That must be why they call it hair-oin.”
Later on, he goes “I just thought of one. James Taylor, no hair, heroin addict.”

Rich becomes adamant because he answers a question (That Mark gave him) with ‘Blue Skies’, when the title is Mr. Blue Sky, and he doesn’t get the point.
Mark: “Rich…they HAVE quiz shows in America, right? This isn’t a new thing for you?”
Rich: “Yeah, but on those we get a fuckin’ car…”
Mark even cracks up a little here.

Phill gives Amy some shit for having some very meek sounding guitar solos. “Sounds like a kitten.”
Amy: “But I’m small. I can’t manipulate my voice like you, you’re a big man.”
Phill, taking it the wrong way: ‘WHOA.”
Mark, giving him shit for taking it the wrong way: “In all fairness, she meant you’re really fat. She can’t see the other guest.”

Mark: “Rich, have you got it, then?”
Rich: “Yes, it’s MISTER Free Bird.”

Phill, ID Parade: “I already know who it is, so I’ll let these two answer it. So Rich, on star-power alone-”
Rich: “I’m not answering unless you call me MISTER Rich.”
Phill, as Terry-Thomas: “I SAY, MISTER RICH, WHO D’YOU THINK IT IS?”

Rich, not wanting to pick ‘Mr. #5″: “I think it’s #3.”
Phill: “It’s not. It’s obviously #5.”
Mark: “I’ll give you it if you say #5.”
Rich: “I don’t trust you. I’m gonna go with #6!”
Mark: “Alright, well you can maybe trust Phill, who knows who it is. Max, could you just wave.”
#5 just nonchalantly waves toward the panel.
Mark: “You can maybe trust him…”

Mark: “Alright, Rich, have a guess.”
Rich: “…there’s something sinister about this whole thing…”
Mark: “Alrght, Max, could YOU AND #3 SWAP? NOW who d’you think it is?”
Rich: “…uhhh…”

Mark tells him he’s getting a point anyway, so Rich says “does that mean if we get it right we get that PLUS one point.”
Mark: “Anything so we can all go home eventually.”
Rich: “Amy, you’re Jewish, haggle with him.”

Mark, Next Lines: “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.”
Bill: “You haven’t had your dinner yet.”

Mark: “68 Guns will never die.”
Mike: “Ooo-hooh-ohoo-hooo…”

Mark: “I fell like a lady.”
Mark: “I’m not, but it’s right…”

Mark: “BLUE SKY, Please tell us why.”
Phill: “I think you’ll find it’s MISTER Blue Sky.”
Mark: “*”I* didn’t start there.”

Overall: The jolt of momentum this season needed, especially with all the holes in the season. Hysterical episode with great panel work from all four, even though Phill’s had slightly more disfunction going on with Rich’s Mr. Blue Sky runner, and Amy being in a great mood, and surprisingly sober. Mike and Fearne were pretty great too, and Fearne was a nice little dartboard for Mark.

Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Rich
Best Runner: Mr. Blue Sky


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