Nevermind Watchdown: S16E10 or The Man Who Didn’t Know he was Richard Fairbrass

More evidence that Series 16 could do no wrong: How do they follow an amazing episode with Kenzie? By bringing back the Patron Saint of Buzzcocks, Richard ‘Toblerone Bummer’ Fairbrass. Oh, this will be fantastic.

Terri Walker must be the 17,000th R&B star that Buzzcocks have had on this season. Magne Furuholmen is one of the principal songwriters from a-ha, which is pretty cool. Emma Griffiths is an MTV presenter.

Mark: “Emma’s first job was working in an old people’s home. Which means out of all of tonight’s guests, she’s seen more unpleasantness around old men’s asses-”
(Richard, off-camera, sees the punchline coming and starts cracking up.)
Mark: “Sorry, I forgot- Sorry Richard. Any other night I could finish that one…”

Emma: “They’re just god-awful aren’t they, Boyzone?”
Mark: “BONUS POINT!”

Mark, introing the Moby video: “Or, he’s bald, he’s tuneless, he’s deviant, he won’t shut up, he gets on your nerves, and he’s staring at a Moby Video right now.”
They even include a split-screen of Richard realizing Mark’s fucking with him, and cracking up.
Mark: “HE’S Richard Fairbrass, sorry it’s MOBY I should have been talking about!”

Richard: “We didn’t like what he was wearing, and we didn’t like the video-”
Mark: “THIS ISN’T QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY! This is-”
Richard: “I know what show I’m on, thank you very much.”
Mark: “D’you know WHY?? CAUSE I DON’T”

Mark brings up the ‘Right Said Fred We Still Care’ book for an extra round.
Mark: “What did thousands of Right Said Fred fans enter?”
Richard, knowing the joke, cracks up
Bill: “Was it a wallaroo?”

Mark: “#2- What does Richard put in his mouth as evening comes around? THESE ARE ALL FROM THE BOOK!”
Richard, losing it: “No they’re not…”
Terri: “A llama.”
Mark: “No, it just says ‘a bite to eat’, I can’t give that to anyone. But I think it meant a cock.”

Mark: “3, and these are all your own quotes, what did Richard tell aspiring young popstars that they should hold onto? And I will say, the answer is actually worse than the question.”
Phill: “Their dignity!”
Bill: “The back of a chair!”
The whole panel loses it at that one.

Emma screws up the first intro, so Mark makes the 2nd one more easy for her, practically giving her every element of the song and band. When she screws up again, she walks back over to Fairbrass and goes “I thought YOU’D be the difficult one…”

And, just to screw with Fairbrass, Bill and Terri’s second intro is ‘I’m too Sexy’, and he doesn’t get it.

Mark, to Fairbrass: “Now’s the part where I do the jokes about the artist.”
Richard: “i’ll shut up then.”

Mark: “I can’t believe this. We have a Right Said Fred book, you get that wrong. We do your tune, you get that wrong. ‘The Man Who Didn’t Know He Was Richard Fairbrass.”

More Right Said Fred questions: “When they were going around warehouses, what part of the Foreman did Fairbrass shake?”
Phill: “His hoo-ha.”
Bill: “His preconceptions.
Richard: “OOOOHHH!”

Mark: “What do the Boys bring down at the end of a busy day?”
Bill: “Uhhh…a gazelle!”

Next Lines: “I’m too sexy for my cat, too sexy for my cat-”
Richard: “Is that a genuine question or are you being silly?”
Mark: “No, it’s a trick question. The actual answer I was looking for was “THE ACE OF SPADES, THE ACE OF SPADES.”

Overall: A notch below the last few Fairbrass episodes, due to a fairly quiet panel, but the Fairbrass jokes were top level, and Emma being shoveled through Every Breath You Take was a highlight as well. Good for the Fairbrass stuff, not for much else.

Best Regular: Mark
Best Guest: Richard
Best Runner: Right Said Fred book

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