Nevermind Watchdown: S18E5 or STICK IT UP YOUR ASS, PAXMAN!

Unfortunately youtube doesn’t have the Lauren Laverne one, so we’re right onto…oh, no.

Friggin’ Clarkson.

This could be a good episode, because Jim Jeffries and Rick Wakeman are on Bill’s panel, and also Antony Costa from Blue is here (for everyone to make fun of). But…but Clarkson. Ugh.

Already I’m annoyed with Jeremy, as he’s reading the jokes off the auto cue way with this plummy, announcery voice, without any regard for when the punchline is. It just sounds so fake. Yes, it’s his usual presenting voice, but it doesn’t especially fit Buzzcocks.Yes, the jokes are fine…I just don’t like the way Jeremy reads them.

Trisha Goddard is an agony-aunt of sorts, hosting her own talk show where she aided people with domestic problems, and then went to work with Maury Povich in the US.

After some off-color jokes from Jim, Trisha: “Is it gonna be chauvinist stuff the whole night?”
Jim: “Just on this side. You can do what you’d like…”
Phill: “THIS WEEK, ON TRISHA. People who put Yogurt on themselves with vegetables…”
Jeremy: “…Trisha’s feeling right at home here.”
(Bill and Phill do some high-pitched indecipherable yelping, like people on Trisha’s show)
Trisha: “We’re above this, aren’t we Jeremy?”
Jeremy, deadpan: “No.”

Jim, to Bill: “You ever been arrested on a plane?”
Bill: “No, but I avoided it, by…taking all the drugs before we got to the gate…”

Jim tells a story about doing a gig in South Africa, and getting tricked into following a guy into the men’s room, thinking he’s just gonna do some cocaine with him, only for the guy “pulls off this great big cock”.
“He then says, d’you want some coke first?, to which I said, ‘I ONLY want coke…”
The whole panel’s in hysterics, even Jeremy.
Rick: “Well we’ve got a real treat for you. He’s here tonight!”

Jeremy: “Actually, I’ve changed my mind about that car being a volvo…”
Jeremy: “You thought I was Jeremy *Paxman* when I got here!”

Trisha, criticizing the woman’s dress in the G’NR video: “What, she’s practically showing off her front booty…”
Phill: “Trisha,on your show you have people who knob animals…”
Trisha: “NO WE DON’T-”
Bill: “When was that on? Must have missed that one…”

Jeremy, as Phill’s team has no idea what happened with Guns n Roses and the toy drum, passes it over to Bill’s team.
Bill: “Did they dress the toy drum up as Mohammed?”
Jeremy completely breaks down.

Antony: “Come on, let’s do ’em Phill..”
Phill: “…you don’t win anything at the end of the night…”
Antony: “Yeah, but my pride.”

So, for Bill’s intros, Jeremy thought they were so atrocious that he didn’t even pass either of them over to Phill when Jim didn’t guess. But when Trisha can’t guess Phill’s first intro, which is really good, Jeremy passes it over and Jim gets it instantly. Phill, in jest mostly, rips up his cards, and demands “some cello tape and some WD40” before he does the next one.
Jeremy, playing his own game, pulls out a cigarette and smokes it, waiting for Phill to get back up. “I’ve got all the time in the world…”

Jeremy on Get Ready by the Temptations: “I had that one on Desert Island disks. That’s one of my favorite all-time songs.”
Antony: “We did that one, when we were-”
Jeremy, channeling Mark: “No, you fucked it up…”

Next Lines: “I drove all night, crept in your room…”
Jeremy: “…it’s not Gary Glitter.”

For Phill’s team’s next lines, Antony is getting, like, 9 in a row, with Trisha. After a while, Phill just watches them go. He turns to Antony and goes “you alright? Cause I’m gonna pop off…” And with that he legitimately leaves, yelling at Jeremy “YOU PACK ON PAXMAN YOU’RE DOING LOVELY!”

I will say that Antony knew every single one of those next lines, which was pretty amazing.

Jeremy: “It’s amazing. You had three when Phill was on your team. Now you’ve got TWELVE.”
Trisha: “Do we even need Phill?”
Jeremy: “No. He’s already at the fish-and-chip shop down the street…”

Overall: Superbly solid show, with a really nice panel of people, and a good enough guest host. Jim improved greatly on his last appearance, Trisha and Antony were having so much fun, amid the barbs, and Rick, as usual, took the game seriously enough to be a great support system in Intros. The one downside was Phill’s demeanor- I can’t tell if he was actually pissed at Jeremy or not, and whether or not that led to his early departure is hard to tell. He could have just been deep in character, but for him to leave and now come back like that is kind of strange.

Thoughts on the Guest Host: Jeremy Clarkson does some things right, and he can be very funny and raw, but his presenting style is too polished and uppity for Buzzcocks. it doesn’t help that he can be a prick at some points, too.

Guest Host Rating: 7/10
Best Regular: Bill
Best Guest: Jim
Best Runner: Jeremy Paxton.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s