Nevermind Watchdown: S19E2, or TONIGHT, ON PHILL!

Simon opens this one with a letter, which perfectly sums up his tenure on the show: “I did very much enjoy the show last week, however I did find the guests to be of a fairly low standard. A has been TV presenter, an 80’s pop star dug up from the grave, someone from a band who’s desperately trying to go solo, and some comedian I’ve never heard of? I do hope this doesn’t continue.”
He looks at the camera, smiles, and goes “Well, tonight I think you’re in for quite a surprise!”

Aside from Paul Young, who’s back, Vanessa Feltz was evidently a pretty ubiquitous TV presenter in 2006. Matt Willis was in Busted, and was going solo in 2006. Now he’s an actor and presenter. Will Smith is a comedian and not, as Simon and co. previously thought, the star of Men in Black.

Simon: “Vanessa, you’ve got a new show, haven’t you?”
Vanessa: “Yes, it’s on ITV. It’s called Vanessa’s Real Lives.”
Simon: “oh. Real this time??”

Maybe it’s the panel, but not a ton’s going on so far. Vanessa was supposed to be the focal point here, but she’s more annoying than relatable. Halfway through and not a ton to report about.

Bill, reading the intro card, groaning: “Ah, yes…sanctimonious little tosser here, isn’t he?”
Will: “Chris DeBurgh?”

Matt, ID Parade: “I think it’s #2, because the rest of them have obviously been hired and they’re not laughing, and she’s pissing herself. It’s been 7 years since it was out, she must have been 23, 24. You’re a lot older than you look!”
Vanessa: “Wouldn’t this be a good time to bring up his normal, chivalrous habits with women, cause he’s got a bit of a mouth on him, doesn’t he??I know he’s called this beautiful woman old.”
Matt: “I WAS BEING NICE!”
Simon, knowing he’s not gonna be heard: “he was being nice…”
Phill, talk show announcer voice: ‘TONIGHT. ON PHILL! WHEN TEAM MEMBERS BICKER!

Phill, doing a Jerry Springer impression, asks Matt if he has a rebuttal.
Vanessa: “…look at me!”
Matt: “I’m scared to.”

Phill: “The lady from Sash, I believe, we were looking for…made herself apparent extraordinarily early.”
Simon, faux-surprised: “So you’re saying #2??”
Phill: “NUMBER TWO WAS IN SASH.”
Simon: ‘Should we see? Will the real Tina Cousins please make herself known.”
Phill: “…AGAIN!!”

Simon, reading the ‘what she’s up to now’ card: “Still very much in the business…oh, no, that’s not right…”
#2 flips him off.

Simon, next lines: “Every day will break, but another comes along.”
Matt: “Oh, this is my song…..oh SHIT!”

Overall: Definitely picked up as it went along, but too little too late. Paul Young was having a great time, Vanessa was a bit annoying but cooled down, and Matt had some fun moments. Didn’t adore Will though

Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Paul
Best Runner: Simon vs. Vanessa

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2 thoughts on “Nevermind Watchdown: S19E2, or TONIGHT, ON PHILL!

  1. Matt’s back in a reformed Busted now. He’s married to fellow Buzzcocks guest Emma Griffiths.

    Vanessa Feltz at the time was a regional radio presenter for BBC London, now she hosts the early morning show on BBC Radio 2 (the show before the breakfast show with Chris Evans)

    I saw Paul Young live a few years ago at a 1980s package show (along with ABC, Marc Almond of Soft Cell and Rick Astley). He was dire. ‘Nuff said.

    Will Smith was one of the writers and actors in Armando Ianucci’s BBC political satire series “The Thick of It” and is one of the writers and executive producers of Ianucci’s HBO series “Veep”.

  2. Paul joins Bill in mocking Phil Collins. Paul was the support act for part of Genesis’ Invisible Touch Tour.

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