Brilliant, another Halloween episode. Not only is this another Sean Lock episode, our third and final one of the season, but this one features Dara O’Briain, and tonight he’s brought along one of my favorite MTW regulars, Chris “There’s a Robin on the Corner of the Building!” Addison. Man, this will be fun.
All the buzzers are, true to theme, horrible sounds. Chris’ is a “EUUUUGHHH!”, which cracks him up. Sean’s is someone flat out vomiting. His response is priceless:
Alan’s, continuing the horrible theme, is just someone going “hello, I’m Piers Morgan.” Works well enough, I think.
Sean, on where the parasite lives: “I think it lives on something that’s long.”
Sean: “Something with a lot of blood in it….maybe a couple of veins….to give it a bit of purchase, because if it was long and smooth it’d slide right down-”
Stephen: “WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THIS?”
Stephen: “I agree with Sean that it’s a slidey organ, a sort of wet organ-”
Alan: “The hell are you looking at me for???”
Sean on the snot-flower: “I’ve coughed something like that once….that looks a bit like KFC.”
Sean, chuckling: “TEMPURA? That’s so middle class!”
Stephen: “What sort of length do you think the average tapeworm is.”
Sean: “EIGHT METERS.” (I laughed at this for some reason.)
Chris: “Fourteen miles.”
Stephen: “Fourteen miles is perhaps a little long. But thank you for joining in.”
Stephen: “What is the key ingredient in the world’s nastiest cocktail?”
Sean: “I RECKON…I reckon you’ve got someone up there who’s a really quick typer!”
Stephen talks about the Toe Cocktails in canada, that have a human toe in them. Dara’s delivery of “WHERE DO THEY GET THE TOE?” makes me laugh, and the fact that Stephen’s ready with that on the next slide.
Sean is distracted by the guy in the middle, when talking about the toe cocktail. “He probably thinks it’s hilarious. I can imagine him going “HE HE…YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TA DRINK THE TOE!”‘, and Sean does that in this high, southern voice.
Stephen’s next question is ‘give me one reason to put a frog’s bottom in your mouth.” And then this comes up on the screen:
Alan has no choice but to look behind him in absolute disbelief.
Stephen: “Do you remember posing for that?”
Alan: “I remember that…what a night that was! You should see what I’ve got in my hands!”
Stephen talks about sucking water from a frog’s bottom to gain hydration in the desert.
Dara: “Essentially, it’s a Capri-Sun.”
Sean: “Or, just get a straw, and you can make a hole wherever you want!”
On how you get rid of a leech:
Alan: “You don’t wanna rip them off, do you?”
Stephen: “Why not?”
Alan: “Doesn’t that do more damage, or leave bits of them in you or something?”
In a millisecond, Alan sees Stephen’s reaction coming, and, knowing exactly what’s coming, immediately goes “It’s gonna turn out to be ripping them off-”
Alan: “All right, BURN it off.”
Alan: “Douse it in some sort of vulgar…whiskey spirit or something.”
Stephen: “You’re safe with that one.”
Stephen talks about a people being covered in leeches in surgery, for personal aid.
Dara: “I hope the leech guy, in the surgery, dresses differently than the rest of the operational staff. I hope the leech guy arrives like the Child Catcher, in a fancy hat with leeches hanging off it. And then he arrives in, “HEELLOOOO, I AM THE LEECH MAN!”
Stephen asks what a horrible way of transporting smallpox vaccines was, and behind him, a picture of Marty Feldman from Young Frankenstein appears.
Chris: “Was it via Marty Feldman?”
During the conversation about smallpox being protected.
Dara: “I’m sorry, this whole thing feels like we’re in the opening scene of an apocalypse movie.”
Chris: “But don’t worry, it’s in THIS test tube, nothing can-” [drops it]
Completing a house guidebook: “Never rub your eyes, except with your…”
Chris: “Other eye.”
And then Chris tries to demonstrate how to rub his eye with the other eye.
Another one has a line about Germans having a gloating zeal in _____
Chris: “A gloating zeal enclosure?” He puts on his usual German accent and goes “This es my Gloating Zeal! I HAVE ZE BIGGEST ROCK! HAHAHAA!”
Stephen, after a confused beat: “…It could be that…”
The answer ends up being that Germans have a gloating zeal in collecting salacious postcards.
Alan: “I love that these were the warnings given, pre-2-World-Wars. ‘Previously known for collecting salacious postcards, later for exterminating millions!”
Sean: “I’m guessing that seriously violent criminals are amazing at sex.”
Stephen: “Are they?”
Sean: “I dunno, I’m just guessing.”
Alan: “Or at least they say they are…”
Sean: “I imagine they’re quite horny, just…RRRRR….”
Chris: “….on a moped.”
Stephen’s next question, ‘Name a Pizza Topping that eats insects”, leads to this visual:
Dara is now very confused. He goes “Don’t know why I get to be…MARIO in this situation.”
The first question of GI is “where does a snake’s tail begin.” There’s ten seconds of silence.
Sean: “After its bottom.”
And just for the hell of it, he bangs his puke buzzer.
Sean, upon learning of his -33 score, instead doing his usual ‘thank you’, goes “…WHAT?…WHAT??”
Overall: A solid episode, though without too many huge moments. All four were having a good time, though Dara and Chris were quieter than I would have liked, even though Chris had some very good answers. Alan had another on-day, and Sean made a case for yet another career-defining series.
Best Guest: Sean
Show Winner: Dara
Best QI Fact: Toe Cocktail