Nevermind Watchdown: S20E4, or YOU STAY WHERE YOU ARE, MIDGE!

WHEW. Two amazing episodes in a row? How the hell do we keep the momentum going? Well…how about with a NMTB regular, a favorite comedian, and a guy that’s a relatively big name actor today?

Midge Ure from Ultravox, RUSSELL HOWARD from Mock the Week, and Nicholas Hoult, who was then appearing on Skins but is now a favorite of mine from Mad Max Fury Road, and the X-Men movies, are all on the program tonight, as well as Romeo Stodart, lead singer of the Magic Numbers, an english indie-rock band.

Jesus, even the Continuity Announcer for the supplied episode knows what’s up, introing this as “there’s some strong language, but more impressively, nobody walks off…”

Simon: “I’d like to begin with an apology. On last week’s show, I upset Preston…of ‘Preston and Chantelle’. I realize now….that they are better than me. Preston is a wonderful singer, and Chantelle invented the popular saying, ‘oh my God’. I was unfair in my representation of Chantelle’s book. It’s not bad, actually, there are some really interesting bits. (opens to a random page) ‘SUDDENLY’ (closes the book) Okay…hope we can all move on now.”
…I honestly doubt this is the last we hear of Prestongate on tonight’s show.

I will say that tonight’s incarnation of Russell Howard is a more familiar one- his hair’s shorter, he’s in a short sleeved red shirt, and he looks like he walked off the set of Mock the Week. All seems to be pretty normal, actually.

Simon, right before a round: “If celebrities start turning their backs on comedy and walking off of panel shows…then the terrorists have won!”

So of course, Phill’s Guess Who round has to do with Madonna, and Simon intros her as ‘And an often misunderstood icon, undeniably a powerful talent, some say genius, if she could just get rid of that moody little hanger of a husband….it’s Chantelle.”
Phill, at this point, is amused at how long Simon’s been carrying on about this

Bill, after Phill’s question is revealed: “CAN I JUST SAY…THEY get a serious question about politics, we get “OOOOH, WHO PISSED THEMSELVES??? WHO WEED, BILL, YOU SIMPLETON FROM THE WOODS? And his SIMPLE FRIENDS, THAT YOU’VE COLLECTED IN A GLADE, OUT IN THE WOODS?”

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Phill: “And here’s Madonna being led out of her home…uh, by Fearne Cotton.”

Simon starts criticizing Nick, and Skins, for being ‘child filth’
Nick: “Well, you co-wrote an episode, didn’t you?”
Simon: “…I DID, BUT…”
Russell: “NOW it makes sense…”
Simon: “I’m waiting for the reviews to come in to start talking about it and such…”

Midge, regardless of his scottishness, is an excellent sport, and very funny. In Simon’s intro of him, he mentions his work with Bob Geldof, ‘which sparked Midge’s catchphrase, ‘where’s my sodding knighthood?’, which got a laugh out of him.
Simon: Bob Geldof’s got a lot of opinions about nuclear waste, does he Midge?”
Midge: “…has he? That’s SIR Bob Geldof” (cringe)
Simon: “Yes, Sir Bob Geldof. What do you think we should do about the environment, Midge?”
Midge: “I don’t- give me a bloody knighthood and I’ll tell you…”

Russell, on Bill and Romeo: “That was lovely…that was two jolly little farmers, singing…”

Simon: “In 1985, Sade performed at Live Aid. She said in interviews that she was disappointed that she didn’t get to meet any of the other stars, she just sat in the green room….with Midge Ure.”

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Midge’s immediate reaction, very similar to Preston’s

Simon, without missing a beat, goes ‘YOU STAY WHERE YOU ARE, MIDGE!”
Midge: “…..wanker!”

Midge and Phill’s first intro is clearly something from before Nick was born, so they just hand him the answer.
Nick: “…Don’t ever think you’re right?”
Simon: “NO…”

Simon: “How old are you, Nick?”
Nick: “17.”
Simon: “Seventeen. You’re really ruining the whole ‘I’m the young guy here’ thing.”

After Nick misses another Intro, Simon: “Don’t you worry about this, Nick Hoult. This doesn’t effect anything in your life.”
Nick: “…I just wanna go home.”
Simon: “DON’T YOU MOVE!”

Simon, on the S-Club-8 ID Parade: “On this show I keep seeing people I interviewed on Popworld on the lineup, and I feel bad, like I should have done more to help…like, if my interview with them had been better, then they’d still be going. Like, if there’s anything I can do, if you wanna…take Nick Hoult, sleep with him…whatever makes you feel better.”
Phill: “He’s not picky! Get in a house with him for a weekend with a water pistol, and you’ll be fine!”

Midge: “I remember their single, Cleopatra Comin’ Atcha, and they were from Birmingham if I recall correctly.”
(#1 raises an eyebrow)
Phill: “#1 seems to have an opinion on whether or not they were from Birmingham. IF…if #1 is the one from Cleopatra, then she’s TERRIBLE at not giving it away…”
(#1 fully-fledged cracks up, similar to the Nolan from back in Athelstonville)

Simon, to Midge: “Why didn’t you ask Cleopatra to be on Band Aid?”
Midge, without saying a word, looks at him, and with his fingers motions that he might walk off. It’s the funniest, driest thing. Very similar to Ford Kiernan if I might say that.
Phill: “You see this is the seat that Preston left, this is the seat that Lemmy left the show on, admittedly during the retakes. We’re just gonna have to call [Midge’s] the Ejector seat!”
Simon: “We should get some sort of a seatbelt…”

Simon: “ANYWAY, WHICH ONE IS ZENIM! I think she was the youngest one.”
#1 nods no, not giving a shit anymore.
Phill: “Well, there’s an outside shot of it being #1…”

Simon pulls the ‘let’s see if he can guess his own song’ trick on Romeo…it goes completely over his head. Russell asks if it’s one of his, Romeo even denies it.
Simon: “HEY. IT’S MY FAVORITE. That happens at every show, but never so bad…”

Simon: “Juliet, when we made love I used to cry…”
Russell: “I was a bit hard, I apologize…”

Midge completes the next line of ‘Do they know it’s Christmas’.
Simon: “Correct. Band Aid. By Bob Geldof.”
Midge cracks up. Like I said, amazing sport.
Midge, mid-crack up: “SIR…BOB GELDOF!”
Simon: “One day you’ll be a knight!”
Midge: “Up there on the lineup, yeah…”

Simon: “This means nothing to me.”
Midge: “Oh, Vienna.”
Simon: “Correct. Vienna….by Bob Geldof.”

Simon does another next line, “Does this mean anything to you Midge?”
Midge just stares at him.

Simon: “It was Better off Dead, by THE FADERS.”
Midge: “Ohhhhhh, okay.”
Simon: “His daughter’s band.”
Midge, to defend himself: “Written by Bob Geldof!”

Overall: I knew this wouldn’t be to the standard of Eps 2 and 3, but I didn’t think it would be THIS GOOD! Like…once again, all four panelists were on, everyone was into it, there were good running gags. I don’t think we’ve had a crap episode yet this season! Of the four, Romeo was quietest, but got some good stuff in. Nick was a good sport with all this, but didn’t go a lot either. Russell had a lot of great lines, and was much closer to his MTW-self. And Midge…oh my gosh, his brand of humor works so well with this current incarnation. He’s already a great panelist, but he was having a hell of a time tonight.

Best Regular: Simon
Best Guest: Midge
Best Runner: Bob Geldof.


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