Time to wrap up this incredibly short season of NMTB. And oh, what a season it’s been. Not a single bad episode in the mix. Just ones that are slightly less awesome than others. We end this tonight on an episode featuring a pretty high profile guest for the ‘we can’t book many great people’ era, Bonnie Tyler of ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ fame, as well as Melanie Chisolm, aka Sporty Spice, Krishnan Guru-Murthy, an interviewer who Robert Downey Jr. once told to fuck off, and Adam Buxton, a comedian I sort-of recognize from Hot Fuzz.
Simon, summing up the series: “It’s been a series fraught with drunks, walk-offs, and most unforgivably, Sinitta.”
Mel, on the shot of Pete Dockerty with the union jack: “Dirty robbing bastard…”
Phill: “What’s that?”
Mel: “It’s Geri’s dress, isn’t it?”
Phill: ‘Lovely image here, Pete Dockerty sings Frank Sinatra.”
Adam: “Come snog with me, let’s snog, let’s snog away…”
Bill, to Krishnan: “How do you stand on Channel 4 with all the business going on…”
Simon: “Bill, it’s six weeks ago.”
Simon: “The racism.”
Bill: “Six weeks ago?”
Simon: “This is going out in six weeks.”
Bill: “DON’T SAY THAT! Don’t say ‘it’s six weeks ago’ when it’s now! You’re fucking up my head! it’s NOW IN *MY* HEAD!”
Simon: “I just don’t want you to wait…”
Bill: “OH! So let’s talk about things that might happen in the future! Blimey…them new hover-trousers are great, aren’t they? Bonnie, how’s it with the new perfume range you’ve made?”
Bonnie: “Nobody’s asked me to launch one, dar-”
Bill: ‘THEY HAVE BECAUSE IT’S IN THE FUUUUTURE! HE SAID IT WAS THE FUTURE! THE TIME LORD!”
That was a fantastic, Johnny Vegas-esque breakdown.
Simon: “Krishnan, as a hard news man, what should we do about hunger?”
Krishnan: “…feed people.”
Simon: “Okay, that’s that!”
Simon starts grilling Mel about her personal life: “DO YOU PUT…CONDOMS…on a MAN before you have intercourse?”
Mel, quick: “…DO YOU?”
Simon, defeated, sits back down. He then gets back up and goes “we just cuddle…”
Bonnie gives Krishnan a snippet of the chorus, which means Simon’s conflicted as to whether or not to give them the point. “I don’t want to offend Bonnie”
Mel: “But you have no trouble offending me…”
Simon: “Yeah, well you’re not a drunk!”
Bonnie: “My big sister will come in here and tear you off.”
Simon: “…what does SHE drink?’
Simon does a good job of giving Krishnan things to do, like handing off to him to deliver another joke. Krishnan, admittedly, felt like an odd choice for Buzzcocks, but is actually having a nice time on the program, especially in balancing out Bonnie.
Overall: Definitely S20’s weakest episode, but not without its moments. Bill and Phill were very loose tonight, and Krishnan and Adam had a lot of great lines. Mel and Bonnie got screwed with a ton, and I didn’t put down all their lines.
Best Regular: Bill
Best Guest: Krishnan
Best Runner: Bill and Phill sing news themes.
SERIES 20 SUPERLATIVES!
Best Episode: Episode 2, featuring Donny Tourette’s drunkenness, Noel Fielding’s debut, Philip’s shirtless mocking, and that scary looking dude wearing sunglasses.
Second Best Episode: Episode 3, featuring Preston walking off…and then everyone else threatening to walk off, Anne Charleston having a great time, and Ed Byrne screwing with Ed!Preston.
Worst Episode: Sadly, Episode 6. Just mainly in comparison to the others.
Best Regular: Bill Bailey, in his last full season on the panel, for returning to his early-Mark-era inspired self, and adding fuel to some of the best runners this series.
Best Musician Guest: Midge Ure, for being surprisingly game and incredibly dry.
Best Comedian Guest: Noel Fielding, for nearly taking over the Donny Tourette episode. Alan Davies came very close though.
Best Dartboard for Simon: Donny Tourette. I should explain- Donny is a punk.