Nevermind Watchdown: S12E07 or HELLO, BARBARA…

Another blast from the past, this one’s a Rich Hall episode (YAAAAYYYY!), also featuring Christian O’Connell, who last appeared on the same panel as Pete Burns (poor guy)

Guy McKnight was a member of Eighties Matchbox, a hard-ish rock band, Nick Bracegirdle’s a member of electronic group Chicane.

Phill, bringing up Tatu for the Gareth Gates clip: “There’s Russian lesbians in the charts and I have to watch Gareth Gates videos. It just doesn’t seem fair.”
Mark: “Have you HEARD that record? It does seem fair.”

Christian says the driver in the Gates video is Stevie Wonder, and it’s his doing that winds Gareth into showing up late to the gig.
Rich: “Can I just point out that this man is white?”

Mark has Guy, who’s not saying much at all, say hello to his mother, which Guy reads at his own mother, so he goes “Hello to my mother!”
Mark: “No, my mother! Her name’s Barbara!”

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Mark: “Those girls are looking really into that gig, ain’t they?”
Bill: ‘Girl in the blue looks bored out of her mind.”
Rich: “That’s cause her knees have been mangled.”
Bill: “She actually has 3 knees. ‘Now, I got three knees, and I’ve gotta listen to this.hm..”

Rich: “Now look at the guy on the right. There’s a kid on the right- that’s their manager.”
Bill: “The poor guy looks horrified. He’s thinking ‘if I just run across the stage and pull that lede out, maybe then the horrible noise will stop…”

Mark, after reading the German answer: “it WOULD HAVE caused an international incident, but the UN went “….ehhh, it’s Deep Purple…”

After Christian says he doesn’t know what Phill’s 1st intro is.
Nick: “Where do you work?”
Mark: “He’s on XFM.”
Nick: “Is that like a music thing?”
Mark: “Well…sometimes. They do chat a bit in between the records.”
Nick: “So…you don’t know what that is?”
Christian: “Not the sort of song we’d play…”
Mark, raising an eyebrow: “How d’you know?”
Christian: “Dunno the sound of it.”
Mark: “You don’t know what it is! It might be exactly the sort of thing ya do play! But done badly.”
Nick: “I am very, very disappointed in ya.”
Mark: “I am disappointed in him, but not because of that.”
Nick: “It sounds like an Erasure record!”
Mark: “IT *IS* AN ERASURE RECORD!”
Christian: “Is it, Erasure, I Love to Hate You?”
Nick: “BOLLOCKS! I just said that!”
Mark, devilishly: “…Not in the finished show, you didn’t!”

Rich is wonderful on this show, even if he’s not too keen on modern music. Within 3 seconds of Bill and Nick’s 1st intro, he already goes ‘I don’t know it…’

Mark: “T. Rex’s percussionist Steve Peregrine Took took his name from a character from Lord of the Rings. Coincidentally, one of our team captains got his face from a character in Lord of the Rings.”
CUT TO BILL LOOKING CONFUSED
Mark: “HOLD ON, WHY HAVE THEY AUTOMATICALLY CUT TO BILL???”

Rich: “Uhhh…#1”
Mark: “Okay, that’s that!”
Rich: “You know anything about any missing equipment around the East German border…TELL THE TRUTH.”
#1: ‘…….’
Rich: “I’LL TAKE THAT AS A YES!”

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Rich: “#4 looks like an Elvis impersonator…had Elvis lived…”

Nick: “#1 does have a Chas and Dave thing about him…”
Mark: “You’re right, #1 does look a bit like him…”
Nick: “I think it’s the hat, though.”
Mark: “…yeah, AND the face…”

So Mark and Guy have an argument about what the actual lyrics to Guy’s song are, as they’re not printed correctly on the card.
Mark: “Let’s try it this way. What comes after ‘it’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it.”
Guy: “I want to fuck your mother…”

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Mark’s immediate reaction

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Rich’s absolutely befuddled expression

Phill, harkening back to earlier: “…HELLO BARBARA…”

Mark: “God, I can’t believe I’m gonna give someone a point for saying they wanna fuck my mom…HOW MANY QUIZZES does that happen on?”

Mark: “Your time starts….NOW.”
Rich, thinking it’s a question: “THE END IS NEAR.”
Mark: “No” (cracks up)
Rich, outraged: “OH, COME ON!”
Mark: “I’ll give you a point for that, fair enough…”

Mark: “Set me free why don’t ya babe.”
Rich: “You just keep me hanging on.”
Mark: “You do, but that’s not the next line.”
Rich, out of options: “…I wanna fuck your mother.”

Mark, after the umpteenth ‘i’ll give you that’: ‘We’re gonna run til midnight…”
Rich: “…at the oasis…”

Overall: Really nice show, better than Ep. 6, with a lot more fun stuff from Rich and Christian. Guy’s quietness gave a lot of material, especially toward the end, and Nick was actually in a nice mood. Still, Rich gave the funniest stuff, as he does seem to enjoy NMTB but his schtick doesn’t always fit, which…he actually uses to his advantage.

Best Regular: Mark
Best Guest: Rich
Best Runner: ‘Hello Barbara…’

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