Nevermind Watchdown: S13E1 or Anyone In from…AzerbaiJANN?

THE QUEST FOR THE MISSING EPISODES CONTINUES!!!

This was the one where, when I found out I’d be missing this copy on Youtube, I got kind of angry and discouraged going into E2, a HarMar Superstar episode I believe. You’ll see why when I roll out the cast.

Huey Morgan is here. Louise Redknapp is here- both proctored great episodes in the first few seasons. Also, Alexei Sayle is here, and he’s a very funny middle-eastern-born comedian. And Dick Valentine is here, and he sings lead for Electric Six. Which means I KNOW EVERYONE ON THE PANEL!!! YAAAAYYYY!

Alexei, on Liza Minnelli: “Is she really friends with Celine Dion?”
Mark: “Well, it’d be nice to think that no one is, wouldn’t it?”

They do eventually bring up a picture of David Gest, just as a reference, and UGH:

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AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Mark: “They roamed Loch Ness for years while he ran around free…”

Phill: “It’s the portrait in Robbie Williams’ attic!”
Mark: “Is there a really good song playing up there as well?”

Bill, on MJ being Gest’s best man: “I’m just guessing that he and this fellow had a GREAT night out! A stag night!”
Alexei: “Like Dublin? Or PRRRAAAAGUE!”
Mark: “Did you just wanna say ‘PRRRRAAAAGUE’ then?”
Alexei: “Then we’ll do AZERBAI-JAN!”
Mark: “It’s been a long time since Alexei’s been on television doing comedy, and his catchphrases aren’t what they used to be…’ANYONE IN FROM…AZERBAI-JANN?”

Mark: “As expected, Liza’s marriage to David Gest didn’t last long. In fact, at the divorce court, Liza was still combing rice out of her hair…”
(little to no audience response)
Mark: “Okay, there’s more to come…I’m gonna put Azerbaijan in this one- AS EXPECTED, LIZA’S AZERBAIJANI MARRIAGE TO DAVID GEST…”
(Audience response is a ton better, and Alexei’s cracking up)
Mark: “IT WORKS! ALEXEI’S DISCOVERED THE SECRET OF COMEDY!!! It’s the seamless property- LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION…”

Mark: “Is it because she discovered the magazine had published a rude article about her heroine Diana Ross?”
Huey, quickly: “Diana Ross is on heroin??”
Mark: “…yes, PICKLED heroine…”

After Mark’s read the Beyonce answers, Phill goes: “Or, was it D- from the looks of the photo, she’s just blown a smurf.”

Screen Shot 2016-06-24 at 10.31.01 PM.png

Beyonce, post-smurf-blowing

Screen Shot 2016-06-24 at 10.32.28 PM

Mark’s immediate reaction

Huey, drinking his mug, to Mark: “They gave me beer…”
Mark: “They did? To go on top of all that dope?”

Then, after another Huey joke, he just gives himself eye-drops.
Mark: “YEAH…THAT’LL REALLY FOOL ‘EM. In the olympic village- “No, I haven’t had any drugs” (mimes shooting roids)

Once again, with these intros, Louise is doing a variant on the sexy ‘AAAHHHHH’-ing, from her debut episode. Of course, there’s not a Jeff Green around to get extremely horny, but it’s still pretty funny.

Great moment- Alexei, who’s in a wonderful mood, is dancing to ‘Let’s Talk About Sex’, cheerily. Cut over to Huey, who’s still stoned, looking around and staring into space. Just a great contrast

Mark: “Elton John played keyboards on the Hollies track ‘I can’t tell the bottom from the top’. (pause) ….Elton John…’I Can’t tell the bottom from the top’….nope. No jokes there.”

So…for Phill’s intros round, Mark has no idea what the answers are, as someone’s taken his cards. So, Dick guesses way off for ‘In Da Club’, and Phill just goes ‘2 points’. Alexei, not getting it, starts to argue that it’s not fair that Dick would guess, as he’s a musician.
Mark: “Alexei…you had HE AIN’T HEAVY, HE’S MY BROTHER…and still missed it. You know what…Huey, do some Dostoyefsky, see if he knows it…”
Huey, who is still really stoned, tries miming something
Phill: “He’s doing ‘The Idiot'”

A lot of this episode is lost because Alexei is saying a lot, and a bit too much of him is a bit annoying. Also, Dick and Louise, while fun, aren’t doing too much.

Dick, to Huey: “Remember the consequences if we get this one wrong…”
Mark: “Which is what?”
Dick: “….I don’t know.”
Mark: “Just no points.”

This is great- Mark’s announcing the numbers for ‘Ready to Go’, and Huey just says hi to one of them, as they knew each other back in the day. So, Mark asks him which one it is.
Huey: “…it’s #4.”
Mark, to Bill’s team: “SO…IS IT #4? OR…NOT?”
#4 is flat out cracking up now.

Bill, deliberating: “Well…it’s not #1-”
Mark: ‘NO, IT’S #4…”

After #4 steps forward, Huey starts going ‘hey Tim’ again
Mark: “You see, that would have been a good time to go ‘hey Tim’, rather than before.”
Huey, just to spite him: “IT’S #4. HEY TIM!”

Mark gives Alexei the next line of his single from the 80’s, which turns into Mark and Alexei singing many more verses of it together. Great moment.

Overall: Generally solid show, with some nice moments- just a few less than I would have expected given the lineup. Everybody was into it, even a drunk Huey, but Dick and Louise didn’t have a ton to do, though Dick did have some nice moments and a great demeanor. Alexei was in a great mood and had some great moments with Mark. Huey was kind of stoned, and Mark had a great time screwing with him.

Best Regular: Mark
Best Guest: Alexei
Best Runner: Azerbaijan

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