Nevermind Watchdown: S13E5

While I’m here, I might as well throw in another missing episode from episode 13, this one featuring Mike Wilmot, who’ll definitely be in a good mood.

Sian Evans is the lead singer of Kosheen, an electronic-based alt-rockish band. Wayne Sleep’s an accomplished dancer who’s been on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. Clint Boon played keyboards for Inspiral Carpets.

Mark mentions that Charlie Brooker from Busted went to the same private school as Stephen Fry and Johnny Vaughn, which ends with a Vaughn slam.
Mark, as Vaughny: “…okaayy. No laughs. …for the Vaughny joke. But a BIG LAUGH THERE…that we’ll edit onto that joke.”

On the Communards clip:
Bill: “They’re gay, aren’t they, the Communards?”
Mark: “GET OUT…’DEAR COMMUNARDS FAN CLUB, I HEREBY RESIGN AS YOUR CHAIRMAN…”

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On the guy in the Communards video, Mike: “…looks like someone just showed him a snapshot of a vagina…”

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Mike, reacting in character

Mike: “…put it away…”
Mark: “Mike, in England we call that a snatch-shot”

Bill: “Didn’t Jimmy Somerville perform at the Gay Olympics?”
Mark: “I imagine he did…what color rings do they have at the Gay Olympics?”
Mike: “It looks like THAT’s the shot-put, in the gay olympics..”
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Mark, to Wayne: “What songs do you do in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?”
Wayne: “I don’t. I’m the Child-Catcher”
Mark: “Right, let’s leave that…”

Wayne actually reveals he went out with Freddie Mercury, “but we didn’t play any of his records.”
Phill: “But did he flip you over halfway through?”

Mark: “Brian May once did a charity gig with Cliff Richard and Phil Collins. I didn’t see the gig myself, I was too busy washing my hands of the kerosene and locking all the fire exits.”
Mike loses it a bit at this one.

For Bill’s first intro, Bill’s bass-playing just turns into him touching his nipples, which turns into him grinding against Mike, which turns into a hug.
Mike: “Is it called ‘strangely aroused’?”
Mark: “If you had both seen the close up of what just happened, you’d never want to touch another human being again…”

After Sian gets it for Phill’s team, Mike shakes his head, going “ah, the attempted rape must have thrown me off…”

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#3 for Phill’s ID Parade

Mark: “I think #3’s first name is Sideshow…but I can’t think of his surname…”

Phill: “Y’ever seen Motorhead, Wayne?”
Wayne: “Well, yes…”
Mark: “Y’ever HAD Motorhead, Wayne? I’d love to see Wayne, dancing at a Motorhead gig.”

After they’ve agreed it’s #4, Sian: “Step forward, whoever you are…”
Mark: “NO, I DO THAT!”
#4 has already stepped forward.

Bill keeps insisting that #5 looks like Roy Scheider from Jaws, which Mark absolutely disagrees with. When they agree on it being “Roy Scheider”.
Mark: “BUT HE DOESN’T LOOK LIKE HIM!”
Bill, defiantly: “HEEEE DOES!”
Mark: “Alright, I’m gonna go and find out.

So he goes over there, and says “I know they say before the show you’re not supposed to talk, but the rules have changed slightly because I am the harbormaster. Am I allowed to ask how old you are?”
#5: “Sure.”
Mark, befuddled, drops his arms. He then goes “I’d like a more specific figure.”
#5: “68.”
Mark: “In those 68 years, has anyone, even once or twice, ever said you look even remotely like Roy Scheider from Jaws?”
#5: “….yeah, once or twice.”
Mark drops his arms. Bill celebrates from the seats. He then runs back, going “HOLD ON A SECOND….WAS IT HIM?” (Pointing to Bill)
#5: “…yeah.”
Mark: “THERE YA GOOOOO!!!!”

Overall: A wee bit thin, but still pretty enjoyable. Sian had the lightest load, but everyone contributed and did well, though Mike had the best lines, with a runner-up coming to Wayne, especially for putting up with all of Mark’s slams with a smile. Clint prospered in Next Lines, and was in nice form tonight, despite being quiet at times. Had some nice runners, good moments, but nothing too special.

Best Regular: Mark
Best Guest: Mike
Best Runner: Bill grinding Mike

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