Onto another Formerly Lost Episode. Unfortunately, this one features Sheila Ferguson. So, R.I.P. Mark’s ears.
Jill Jackson fronts ‘Scottish Rising Stars’ Speedway. James Redmond used to be on Hollyoaks. Crispian Mills fronted Kula Shaker.
Mark, in his intro, cites this as the ‘thoroughly unwelcome return’ of Sheila Ferguson. In the background, you can hear Sheila giggle, and lightheartedly yell ‘Up Yours’.
On the bit in the Barry Manilow video where he gets shot, Crispian: “When do the police come and outline him? Or do they run out of chalk once they finish with his nose?”
Mark: “That’d be the ultimate ‘He went that-a-way'”
After Sheila doesn’t get a joke about them not really being right, Mark goes “I didn’t think I’d have to do this this early…”
Sheila: “You know, I knew you before, when you were funny”
Mark VO: “MARK…YOU REQUIRE…A REPLACEMENT FOR SHEILA FERGUSON…”
Jill, on the shot of Europe’s lead singer: “He’s making his cum face on tv…”
Bill: “His cum face?”
James: “It’s like he’s just cum in his face…”
Mark, very quickly, puts the headphones back on.
Afterwards, Mark, near-crack-up, goes “Bill…do that face again…”
Mark, VO: “BILL…YOU REQUIRE…PLASTIC SURGERY…”
Bill, to Jill: “Have you ever done any mad videos like that, with helicopters?”
Jill: “No, not helicopters. We did it with a, uh…Wall of Death.”
Bill: “What, a proper wall of death? Like, with motorbikes like that?”
Mark: “That must have been scary, with the things going ’round like that.”
Jill: “No, it was okay…”
Mark: “Cause it’s called a Wall of Death, so there must have been some sort of…fear or danger, despite the very nature of it.”
Bill: “The Wall of Worry.”
Mark: “THE WALL OF ‘.no, it’s alright…”
Jill: “Did you know that they used to take monkeys on motorbikes…”
Mark, motioning to Bill: “DON’T START HIM OFF…”
After another Sheila line, MARK VO: “MARK…YOU REQUIRE…TO KISS SHEILA’S BLACK ASS….”
Jill and Mark get into a small argument about Glasgow, and how everybody there’s supposed to be soft- to which Bill replies “I was once mugged by a torso over there.”
This episode’s been bogged down by a lot of banter, between Mark and either Jill or Sheila, and not a ton of funny moments, though Bill is at his best tonight.
James: “The problem is, they’re all wearing baggy trousers, so I can’t tell which one of ’em’s got ‘A little something for me'”
Mark: “I know one of ’em’s gonna have a fist for you after the show…”
Phill’s ID Parade is….oh dear…
Phill: “Hot Chocolate Announce Tour of Bermuda!”
Phill: “It’s not #5, because he’s been on for the last 6 weeks…”
Sheila: “Has he?”
Mark: “Yeah, I’ll give you that, it’s definitely not #5…and I’VE GOT AN INKLING IT MAAAAY NOT BE #2…”
The ENTIRE NEXT LINES ROUND is wonderful, because he gives Bill’s team all ‘Hello’ ones, one after the other, and they get them all wrong assuming they’re different ones. Then, he gives Phill’s team each line of ‘This Old Man’, then after they’ve got enough to win, “HELLO.”
Phill: “….DOLLLY YES HELLOOOOO…”
Overall: A mixed bag- ID Parade was fantastic, Next Lines was fantastic, the rest of the show was hit-or-miss. Sheila was in a MUCH better mood this time, and didn’t get AS MUCH shit flung at her by Mark. Jill actually got some of Mark’s nastiest barbs, and I don’t think she ever fully recovered. James and Crispian gave some good answers.
Best Regular: Bill
Best Guest: Sheila
Best Runner: HELLO.