Nevermind Watchdown: S14E7, or SCOOP. KILL HIM.

THE LOST EPISODES CONTINUE…And this one’s got Dara O’Briain!! YAAAYYY! My only real issue is that Dara didn’t exactly gel well with the dynamic the last time he was on, but this is an older, more mature Dara. Maybe he’ll be a little better tonight.

Gary Jules is best known for his extremely moody rendition of Tears for Fears’ Mad World.  Wes Butters was a hip RadioOne DJ back then. Fatman Scoop is an American Hip Hop artist who charted better in the UK.

Phill, to Scoop: “I mean, to you [Harris] must be a dressed-down Colonel Sanders”
Mark: “How quickly into the show are you two starting to talk about fast food?”
Phill: “I mean, we’ve already won the show on cholesterol alone…”

Mark: “Was it because Mel C and Mel B, both coincidentally named after strains of hepatitis…”
Even after all these years, Mark’s still got enough Spice Girls jokes.

On a clip of the Spice girls dancing with an older lady.
Gary: “It’s really so tacky for Geri to bring her daughter to the shoot…”
Of course, Mark approves of that one.

Throughout the show, Mark goes to the back of the studio with a paper cup, like he’s receiving news bulletins. One in particular: “Apparently the Kumars have written their second joke….no, never mind, it’s the same one…”

Mark: “Now, these are gonna be really tough…uh, is it Fatman or Scoop?”
Mark: “Alright, I’m just gonna call you Jeremy.”
Scoop, over dramatically: “NOOOO!!”
Jesus, Scoop has got to be the black version of Rupert from Survivor. Just big and unironic and boisterous.

Scoop is given, in the first intro, to do a ‘BING BING’ ever so often, so one time he literally reaches across the desk to do it closer to Dara, causing a ‘JESUS CHRIST’ from Phill.
Mark: “It’s the overaggressive bus conductor!”
Dara: “You have not LIIIVED until you’ve had Fatman Scoop LUUNGE at you and go ‘DING DING!”

During Phill’s ‘Combine Harvester’ intro, Bill just stands up and salutes, saying “sorry, it’s my National Anthem.’ As they play the actual tune, Bill stands again, robotically, even adding in the ‘OOH ARR OHH ARR’ in tune with the music.

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Bill, saluting during ‘I’ve Got a Brand New Combine Harvester’

Mark, bobbing up and down in salute with him, goes “is this the Cornwall dance?” Soon, Phill, Bill, Mark AND SCOOP are all bobbing, saluting, and even singing along to it.

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Jesus, once the chorus comes in, Bill just starts yelling singing, ‘ohhhhhhIII’VE GOTTA BRAN’NEW COMBINEARVESTER…”

Mark: “So, that was I’ve Got a Brand New Combine Harvester, by the Wurzels.”
Then, he starts humming the tune again and Bill spontaneously stands and salutes again…only to stand there confused when nothing’s happened.

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Bill: “It’s just all I have to hear is a little phrase, and I’m up…”
Phill: “…Pavlov’s Hobbit?”

For Bill and Gary’s first intro, Mark decides he’s gonna try to screw Wes up, so, in tune with them, he starts singing the lyrics to ‘Passenger’ by Iggy Pop.

Wes: “Is that the answer?”
Mark: “…doubt it…that’d be too easy, anyway.”

After a bit more of that, Wes says “just do it to me.”
A very confused Fatman Scoop, in the background: “…DO IT TO ME???”

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Of course, after about 7 seconds of this, Mark even louder, starts up again with “I AM A PASSENGER….”

Scoop and Mark end up arguing about whether or not Gary and Phill’s 2nd intro was Dilemma by Nelly&Kelly, because, to quote Scoop, “THAT SOUNDED NOTHIN’ LIKE DUH-LEMMA!” (Which is the exact opposite of Shabba Ranks’ pronunciation, a Dollema). Scoop ends up trying to tackle Mark, or take his seat. This is a good-natured argument, and Scoop’s just happy to be on the show- it’s like a Junior Simpson thing, only Scoop’s a bit more aggressive.

Bill and Wes think it’s #3
Gary: “I defer to my colleague on that one, I don’t…I don’t really know”
Mark: “None of them know, it’s just a stab in the dark.”
Gary, chuckling: “A stab in the dark?”
Mark: “…I didn’t mean anal sex, I just…I just meant as an expression. You must have that expression in America.”
Gary, not understanding: “…Yes. Anal sex, we do.”
Mark: “I DIDN’T MEAN…”

Jesus, Phill’s ID Parade is for the Scottish National World Cup Squad singing ‘I have a dream.’ Mark, for his standup, says “for the audience only…because I don’t really wanna see that…”


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“Or is it #2, Burns Victim”

Mark: “….OHHHHH ATHELSTON, I’m gonna put you on my mantlepiece tonight…”

Scoop: “I dunno where you guys found #2, but y’all need to put him back wherever you found him…”
Mark: “Well, the real shame for him- he’s on every week, and that means we have to unhook his drip…”

Mark gives Scoop his own song lyrics and he gets them instantly.
Mark: “And again…you’re telling ME off…”

Mark: “So the final scores are, Phill, you got 9…”
Scoop: “What did they get?….WHAT DID DEY GET???”
(Mark’s trying to hold it in)
Mark: “….We’ll find out after this break…”

Overall: Exactly what this series needed to get back on track. The whole panel was into it, and everyone contributed at least something, even though Wes was the quietest. Gary had some nice lines here and there, and Dara was a lot more relaxed here than he was initially, but…Fatman Scoop, despite being the black Rupert Boneham, was phenomenal, funny, into it, and played the right game. Even if he wasn’t always INTENTIONALLY funny, he was still a great presence. Plus, between the Combine Harvester runner and Fatman getting overheated at Dilemma, there’s enough here to keep me invested through various rewatches.

Best Regular: Mark
Best Guest: Scoop
Best Runner: Combine Harvester


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