Nevermind Watchdown: S15E4, or SO, I WAS CLONED.

Onto another one of the Lost Buzzcocks Episodes, now headed into Series 15, which was, upon the initial watch down, pretty weak, save for the first couple episodes. Now we at least have an episode with Lisa Scott-Lee from Steps AND Toyah Wilcox, which should be fun…at least for Mark.

Larry Hibbitt plays guitar with rock band 100 Reasons. Nick Atkinson sang lead with rock band Rooster.

Toyah, trying to prove a point: ‘But do bands smash things up anymore? Did Steps ever smash up a hotel room?”
Lisa: “…what do YOU think???”
Mark: “I did once when they were on the radio…NO OFFENSE.”
Lisa: “I’ve heard all the jokes about Steps…I was in it for 5 years, I know ’em all.”
Mark: “I wrote them all.”
Lisa, smiling: ‘Yeah, you probably did…”

Phill, proving a point to Toyah after she recalls someone planting a bomb in a theatre she was performing in: “Y’see, Toyah? Orange hair.”
Toyah: “It’s almost as bad as having a pink shirt, isn’t it?”

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Bill is suddenly appalled.

Bill: ‘…WHAT DO YOU MEAN?”
Phill: “It’s like the gay, hippie Dennis the Menace.”
Bill: “I thought it was more of an outraged bee.”

Bill talks about Toyah’s This is Your Life, where people like Charles Dance and Noddy Holder came on to talk about her.
Toyah: “That’s nothing! They then had Ron Moody on who didn’t know who I was!”
Mark: “Did he just come on to say there was a bomb under your seat?”

Mark, explaining how Tony Wright fell from the rooftop and broke his ankles, cracking up throughout: “In an effort to make the Hard Rock Cafe more Northern, Tony was climbing up the sign and tearing off the H so it read ‘ARD.
Phill audibly loses it here- he KNOWS Tony. He can see that!
Mark: “And the sentence ‘a man pulling off the H’ does remind me of backstage at a Steps concert…”
Lisa’s already grinning and nodding- she’s actually a fantastic sport.

Nick, on DMX: “Can you imagine him at a children’s softball game, though, cheering for his kids?”
Phill: “Yeah, most dads are really competitive anyway, but the hardcore rap dads…that’s gotta be terrible.”
Nick: “People going ‘RUN FASTER OR I’LL POP A CAP IN YO’ ASS, FOOL!”
Phill: “Dad, stop shooting at the other dads!”
Mark: “…is he on the A-Team now? ‘I PITY THE FOO WHO DON’T LET MAH DAUGHTER WIN!”

Lisa: “I think it’s B, because I can’t really see him at a softball game.”
Mark: “…but you can see him posing as an FBI agent?”
Phill: “I can see him as Clarice Starling from the film Silence of the Lambs. [DMX voice] “YOU CAN SMELL MAH WHAAAAT?”
Mark: “…I really got a little shiver when I heard Phill say that just now…”

Halfway through her and Bill’s first intro, Toyah collapses over her chair in embarrassment, as she can’t remember the song. She does insist on doing it again, even Mark says there’s no point.
Toyah: “I tell you what…if he can’t guess this, I’ll stick my tongue down your throat…”

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Mark’s initial reaction

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Mark’s immediate decision.

Of course, the second Bill and Toyah start back up again, the exact same problem occurs.

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Then, after a couple seconds more of the intro, and realizing she’s not gonna make this in ANY way believable, she goes “…CAN YOU FEEL IT COMING, MARK?”

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JESUS CHRIST, TOYAH!

Mark, not knowing how to react: “….I’m gonna get my jaws clamped…”

Larry does eventually get it, mainly because Toyah shows him the card and Mark starts absolutely PLEADING with him to get it.

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Toyah: “Is #2 Bill’s brother??”

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Bill, looking for the resemblance

Bill: “SO, I WAS CLONED, uh…”
Mark: “The Hobgoblin Twins.”

Next Lines: “I am human, and I need to be loved- don’t answer this, Bill, it’s not true…”

Mark: “So, Cindy get your coat on.”
Lisa: “You’re cold…”
Mark: “…d’you know what? As this is the Faces, that is the sort of thing they would have written…”

Overall: Although this episode fell off a bit, towards the end, there was still a lot to love, from how far Toyah was willing to go, to the fun Lisa, Phill and Nick were having, to Lisa taking all of Mark’s Steps slams, to Bill finding his long lost brother. A bit of unevenness stops this from being a classic, though.

Best Regular: Bill
Best Guest: Toyah
Best Runner: Toyah trying to kiss Mark

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