Look…I’m kind of hoping for this episode to be good, but it’s not I’m looking forward to. The entire remainder of the Bill Bailey era is filled with episodes I *AM* looking forward to, because this season the casting department stepped up and packed the panels show by show, so I’d like to get this one, an episode where I’ve heard of no one, out of the way, especially before I get to NEXT episode, the Christmas show. No offense meant toward any of the participants.
Right off the bat, Simon welcomes Bill back, and…then goes back to reminiscing about Noel just to piss him off, in full montage fashion. This is mostly for Bill, because I doubt Simon would have wanted Noel back full time, or vice versa.
Irwin Sparkes sang lead for the Hoosiers, who had a hit with ‘Worried About Ray’. Kevin Eldon’s a comedy star, from Alan Partridge, Big Train and Stewart Lee’s projects. Patrick Wolf is a multi-talented singer-songwriter. Miquita Oliver is a TV presenter and former colleague of Simon’s.
After Irwin and Bill have a conversation about their inhalers.
Phill: “It’s not the fittest show on television, is it? You’ve got me sat here, with blood pressure 34 pounds per square inch, Wheezy McDoodle over there and the pipe cleaner man in the middle.”
Kevin: “…My leg hurts a bit.”
Simon: “Miquita, do you like the Hoosiers?”
Miquita: “Well, I really like the advert [of theirs] that you cussed in the intro.”
Simon: “Yes, but when you say that, you’re uh, lying.”
Bill: “I mean, can you say ‘Indian’ anymore.”
Simon: “Yes, but not in that context.”
Kevin: “Not to their face.”
Simon: “You can’t go up to someone and say ‘INDIAN.'”
Bill does a little hand-signal with slapping.
Simon: “….deaf indian?”
Simon: “Miquita, have you been watching this series of Never Mind the Buzzcocks?”
Bill and Irwin do their first intro.
Phill: “DON’T MOVE TOO MUCH, BOYS, REMEMBER THE ATHSMA!”
In an instant, both of them grab their inhalers.
Miquita: “Sounds like the hip, new Hollyoaks music.”
Simon: “You’re not promoting Hollyoaks, are you?”
Phill: “IT’S HOLLYOAKS…ONLY ON T4…”
Simon, on G4: “They wrote an autobiography, but their agents wouldn’t allow us to read it aloud.”
Bill: “…and also, Simon, you’ve got a bad track record of reading out autobiographies, to be fair. I mean, it’d be terrible if the LINEUP walked…”
Simon: ‘We’re tied. Bill, would you like to go first?”
Bill: “BRING THE NOISE.”
Simon: “…Your time…”
Bill: “STARTS NOW! That’s a point!”
Yeah, Bill’s back to his old self.
Overall: Light episode, and not a lot of guest help, but Bill, Phill and Simon were all on. Miquita was probably the strongest of the guests, and Kevin and Irwin had some nice lines here and there, but it was kind of quiet all around, even with the various runners.
Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Miquita
Best Runner: The Inhalers.