Phill has an easy day, as he has Lauren Laverne, Buzzcocks royalty, on one side of him, and KT Tunstall, ‘Suddenly I See’ and ‘Big Black Horse and a Cherry Tree’ singer, on the other. Bill’s team I don’t know as well, but it’ll still probably be a nice show.
Jon McClure sings lead for Reverend and the Makers. Jeremy Edwards was on Hollyoaks and was presenting some things back when this aired.
Jon, on the BSB Video: “Why does the plane have ‘Backstreet Boys’ on it?”
Bill: “…it’s, uh, so they know which one to get on…”
Simon asks Jeremy about his cooking show (‘mixing bulging biceps with baking’), and asks what could be next, like an investigative journalist show (with bulging biceps).
Phill: “I’m doing a minimalist cooking show called ‘Can’t Cook, so…I won’t.’
Bill: “Cooking With Villains. ‘I’ve just broken into this beautiful house. The alarms will go off in three minutes. Time for a lovely summer salad.”
Man, that was almost a QI moment there.
Also, because Jon McClure goes by Reverend, Simon gleefully presents him with tea and cake. The joke was obvious, but the execution made it funny, and how gracious Jon is about it.
Phill’s team tries to figure out how Neil Young’s music landed him in court.
Phill: “He was singing one of his songs…”
Lauren: “GO ON…”
KT: “A bit too high.”
Phill: “Yes, a bit too high. He thereby disrupted some migrating bats.”
Bill: “EHHHH. Bats don’t migrate.”
After Bill and Jon’s first intro, Jeremy: “It was going a bit Emmerdale, though, but-”
Bill: ‘WHAT? EMMERDALE? No, Emmerdale went ‘DENNA-NAHHH-NEEAAHHH!”
Cut over to Phill’s panel, and ALL THREE OF THEM ARE MELODICALLY SINGING THE EMMERDALE THEME.
Jeremy: “….perhaps not.”
Even better, once the Brian Ferry actual intro plays in, a good 2/3rds of the panel starts singing along, doing bad Brian Ferry impressions- Phill’s entire panel, all of which are having a great time, and Jeremy, are joining in.
Simon, to Lauren: “You’ve actually gotten back to your pre-baby weight rather quickly.”
Lauren: “I just rang up Loose Women and asked what they did.”
Bill: “ohhhh…god I hate those *BITCHES!*”
Man, I am gonna miss Bill Bailey.
Simon asks KT about being in a pool of too many singer songwriters, and he brings up Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen.
KT: “Yeah, well one’s on drugs and the other’s up the duff, so…”
Simon: “Well, why can’t YOU do one of those???”
And now Simon tries setting KT up with Jeremy.
Simon: “He could impregnate you…”
Jeremy: “…not from here.”
KT: “Oh, Jeremy, you disappoint me.”
Simon: “I bet you could, from there…”
This is a great moment. Jon gives KT a clump of…some substance, ‘from Jeremy’, and presents it like a token of appreciation. So, she puts some in her mouth, and it turns out to be some of Jon’s hair wax.
KT: “I knew I never should have come on this show…”
Simon: “Are you, uh, glad you came?”
So then, Bill takes some, and…
Simon: “In response to a feud with Josh Homme, Sharon Osborne once said ‘I hope his dick falls off so his mother can eat it’. She then went on to say ‘that always helped when Jack was naughty’.
The audience is pretty shocked.
Jeremy: “I’m slightly worried because #2 looks like he’s gonna kill me!”
Bill: “There is one thing that ah hate…and that is soap stars that have become presenters of cookery shows…I’m gonna whisk you BAD….”
Bill: “I don’t think it’s #4, because, uh….I think he works here.”
#4: (embarrassed grimace)
Simon: “Yeah…somebody pulled out.”
Lauren is asked to compare her co-presenter with Jeremy.
Lauren: “Well, Steve’s got more beef. Sorry, Eddie.”
Jon: “But can he impregnate KT Tunstall from 10 yards away?”
Simon: “I think not.”
KT: “Should we have a throw-off?”
Simon: “I think it’d be great if we turned to TV3 and just saw them there…taking a go at it.”
Jon: “‘I’m a Sperm, Get me Out of Here’?”
Simon: “Well, guess what’s happened, people? It’s a shitting tie.”
Simon: “A half an hour has been wasted, but we’ve all had a lovely time.”
Overall: Oh my god this one was so much fun to watch. It helped that literally everyone on the show was having a good time, and even Simon’s barbs weren’t even that mean-spirited (maybe he was asked to tone it down after last episode). The prime factor was Phill’s team- Lauren and Phill already get along splendidly (they were joking about as the cameras leapt in for the intro), but throwing in an incredibly game KT Tunstall made them the strongest overall team we’ve seen since Sebastian Bach, Bill and Dave Fulton. Also, Jon was hysterical and had a ball, and Jeremy was great in responding to Simon, and keeping the ‘semen throwing’ jokes going with KT. Overall, a splendid show that has some serious rewatch value.
Best Regular: Bill
Best Guest: Lauren
Best Runner: Hair wax.