Nevermind Watchdown: S21E10, or IT’S…JAMES LANCE!

Now that this season’s on a roll, and we’re down to the final 3 episodes of the Bill Bailey era, we’ve hit a slightly slimmer, but still probably comedy prone, panel. For instance, Phill’s team is famed oddball comedian (whose name isn’t Noel Fielding) Tim Minchin and Yannis Philippakis from Foals. Bill has Sophie Ellis-Bextor on his team, and since Mark Lamarr no longer hosts the show, I think she’ll be fine, as well as James Lance, comedy actor who’s been on Spaced and I’m Alan Partridge. So…not bad overall.

One of the options for the Alice Cooper question is ‘he lost faith in his own act’.
Bill: “It’d be like if the dinosaurs went ‘RAAAAARRGHHHHHOOOHHH what’s the point…”

Sophie: “It might have something to do with snakes, because he’s got a lot of snakes.”
Bill: “Yeah, he has about 10 snakes…”
Simon: “…or nine.”

Simon: “So, Sophie, you’re married to Richard from the feeling.”
Sophie: “…yeah.”
James, realizing he lost his chance at Sophie: “Oh, shit…”

After Simon says penis at the end of a joke.
Sophie: “You’ve already said penis! How long have we been here?”
Simon: “I didn’t have to say penis, I could have said ‘…his enormous COCK.”

Simon devises that they’re going to say James Lance’s name as many times as they can tonight, so that more people will know who he is.
Tim, the voice of reason: “It’d be quicker if he just killed someone…”

Simon: “That was the Kooks, but why did they have to stop a concert early?”

Simon’s first option is “Singer Luke Prichard stage-dived and hurt his cousin.”

Screen Shot 2016-08-12 at 10.29.51 PM.png

Tim’s priceless reaction

Tim: “I’m assuming that a family member or two would come to every gig. Maybe he thought, ‘well if I’m gonna stage dive and I’m not actually very rock, I should go towards a family member who’ll definitely catch me…”
Phill, channeling Ryan Stiles in Greatest Hits: “You see…if you do a gig in Alabama, you can’t NOT land on a cousin…”

Simon says he’s gonna try not to bash the Kooks, because he’s fine with them not want to talk about going to stage school. “We’ve all done things in life we’d rather not talk about. For instance, I was a guest on 8 out of 10 cats…I was young, I thought those statistics were glamorous, I didn’t KNOW…”

As Simon’s reading the answer they picked, Tim’s already “this is wrong…this is so wrong…WE’VE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE BUT WE’RE TOO LATE- Go on.”
Simon: “….You’re wrong!”
I do adore the way Simon says ‘you’re wrong’- he just gets so much joy out of it- especially with the added ‘Simon searches for the auto cue’ second.

Simon: “James Lance, will you be buying the Sophie Ellis-Bextor Best Of album?”
James: “Yes, I will, Simon Amstell.”
Simon: “Very good. That’s James Lance, everybody.”
Suddenly, a swanky theme and title card come down on James. “IT’S…JAMES LANCE!”
Screen Shot 2016-08-12 at 10.42.13 PM.png
James, as this is the 3rd or 4th time, gives an amused little ‘thank you’ head nod, and carries on. Simon’s losing it.
Screen Shot 2016-08-12 at 10.43.36 PM.png
James: “…I’m in hell, where am I?”

Simon mentions that James went out with Denise Van Houten, and he starts talking about that, and Bill notices his hands…below his belt. And calls him out on it.

Screen Shot 2016-08-12 at 10.45.51 PM.png

Prompting the theme again

Bill: “What are you doing?”
James: “…I was just remembering.”
Bill: “…James’s Lance…”

Simon: “Your first kiss?”
James: “Her first kiss. My…third, fourth?”

Yannis gets up on top of a chair for an intro.
Simon: “Hello, what’s this.”
Yannis: “Well, I’m really short, so I thought this’d be really nice for me.”
Phill: “Yeah? I’m really fat, what do I do?”

Ah, yes. Show’s running low on time so Biggie to Smalls again. I’m not…against this round…I’m just more of a fan of the ID Parade.

Next Lines: “The record shows, I took the blows.”
Bill: “…I killed her with a length of hose…”

Simon: “Any sexual position’s feasible.”
Tim: “Aw, it’s one of mine..”
Phill: “As long as you don’t do it with a weasible.”

Overall: It fell off toward the end but this was actually a really nice show, with a strong, strong panel. Yannis and Sophie probably did the least, but they still did quite a bit and played well with Simon. James Lance put up with Simon’s JAMES LANCE runner really well and had some good stuff himself (“…remembering”). Tim Minchin of course got the MVP, because he’s Tim Minchin. A lot of the episode was very Simon-doctored, like a lot of this season, but it’s still one of the brighter spots of the year.

Best Regular: Simon
Best Guest: Tim
Best Runner:Screen Shot 2016-08-12 at 10.45.51 PM.png


3 thoughts on “Nevermind Watchdown: S21E10, or IT’S…JAMES LANCE!

  1. Sophie looks happier to be here than she was back 1998 when she was a surly teenager. She looks as though motherhood has matured her.

    • Idk. I was watching her 1st episode again, and she wasn’t as dour as I originally thought. Like, she had some really nice lines, and worked really well with both Seans. It was just the endless barrage of Blue Peter jokes that brought her down a few pegs. So yeah, she did a lot more here, but it’s very interesting that Sophie seems to do better with an arguably meaner guy as presenter.

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