Nevermind Watchdown: S22E09, or Take That, Fascists!

Okay, MUCH BETTER one in the cards tonight. The Guest Bill is MARK WATSON, who’s been great whenever he’s been on the show, plus Katy Brand is also back, as well as Lee Ryan (or Lee from Blue).

Also, tonight is the ‘198th Episode Special’, which Simon commemorates with 198 seconds of applause…which they tire of quite quickly.

Mette Lindberg sang with the Asteroids Galaxy Tour, and Matthew Wright is, well, a TV presenter.

Lee: “You’ve asked me on a couple times already, Simon, and…I just didn’t wanna…”
Simon: “Why exactly?”
Mark: “It’s because Antony Costa killed himself…NO, NOT REALLY…”
Katy: “I’m so glad you said that, because I was just trying to figure out who the fourth member of Blue was…”

After Simon shows a clip from Lee’s movie, which is a rather bad-looking Vinnie Jones flick.
Simon: “…Now, did Danny Dyer know they were filming this movie?”

Mark is, by proxy, a comedian, but he’s actually really nice at connecting both Lee and Katy, and does really well in the first round. His onstage persona, especially in MTW, is primarily a less mature sort of character, but this Mark was a bit more grown up and a lot better on the program.

Matthew talks of seeing Bon Jovi “six to eight times”, because he was working for a newspaper that required him to go to a lot of gigs. “Bon Jovi and Bryan Adams were near the top. Blue hadn’t started yet obviously.”
Lee agrees with him. Lee, like Antony, is a pretty good sport about Blue jokes.

Mette: “One time, when I was playing Mini-Golf, I hit my mom in the forehead…”
Mark: “With a club, or did you just whack her? Over here we call it Crazy Golf, but it’s not that crazy, really. Like, if you come with your cock out, you’re not normally allowed to play…”
Mark is killing it so far.

Mette’s been sitting cradling her knee for most of the show.
Simon: “…what else is there about you, Mette…oh, you’ve got a knee!”
Mette, bringing up her other kneecap: “I’ve got two knees…”
Simon, astonished: “TWO! TWO KNEES!”

Simon: “If you haven’t seen the Wright Stuff, Matthew talks to think people who-”
Mark: “ALL OF MY GUESTS have been on the Wright Stuff. [to lee] And this is not a thick bloke here, this is a bloke who PRETENDS TO BE THICK.”

Katy, pre-Intros: “Can I just say? Last time I was on this it was Jermaine Jackson, and I thought it couldn’t get any better…and now I can’t believe that it’s happened again…with Lee from Blue!”

Mark and Lee want to do intros like a vocal group.
Katy: “I’ve just never seen anyone in a boy band wearing glasses..”
Mark: “Oh really, well in that case…GOODBYE GLASSES!”

Mark polls the audience, who agree that there is room for a boy band member to wear glasses.
Katy: “…none of them wear glasses…”
Phill, misreading: “‘Take That’…FASCISTS? I’ve no idea how they’re doing so well at the moment. They’re not gigs, they’re rallies!”
Simon: “Blue were communists…and it didn’t really work out.”

Katy: “It’s just like being in a room with Gary Barlow and Robbie Williams…”
Mark: “Yeah, and look at them now!”
Phill: “NAZIS!”

Simon: “Speaking of Take That, Lee are there any plans for a Blue reunion?”
Lee: “…I…I’m under contract not to say anything…”
Simon: “You’re not under contract to do anything…”

Simon: “Am I right in saying that your the last one in Blue to have a baby?”
Lee: “…yeah.”
Simon: “And the others, they all left the mothers of their children, right?”
There’s a ton of audible “OHHHHs” from the audience and even Matthew. Lee’s just wincing to himself.

Lee, reading the intro card: “Which one?”
Mark: “This…”
Lee: “…’Here comes the girls’. Right.”
Katy doubles over laughing.
Katy: “Can I just say, that was brilliant moron persona work, wasn’t it?”

Mark and Lee start doing their intro. Phill even starts bobbing along across the stage.
Katy: ‘Hey, phill, how do you know it?”
Phill: “BECAUSE HE SAID IT!!!!!”

Phill and Mette’s rendition of Eric Clapton’s ‘Cocaine’ is so good that Matthew just starts cheering and applauding in his seat even as it’s still going.

Simon passes over Phill’s 2nd intro
Mark: “Lee’s got half an idea.”
Katy: “Oh, that’s too easy…”
Lee crumbles over in embarrassment.

There’s a music cue of Lee that Simon keeps playing throughout the show, just Lee melodically singing. When Lee’s crumpled over and won’t say what he thinks it is, Simon plays it again, expecting him to spring up and start singing to it. When he doesn’t, Simon does it instead.
Screen Shot 2016-10-04 at 3.22.36 PM.pngScreen Shot 2016-10-04 at 3.23.15 PM.pngScreen Shot 2016-10-04 at 3.22.53 PM.pngScreen Shot 2016-10-04 at 3.23.39 PM.png

ID Parade:
Mark: “Every week on this, the one who it is always looks too guilty, too smiley. So I reckon it’s #4, unless she’s guilty for other reasons…”

Overall: Slower finish, but still a really funny episode. Mark’s entire panel was a lot of fun, especially Lee being a good sport and Katy being as fun as ever. Mette and Matthew gave less stuff but still had a nice time. Simon’s screwing with Lee was mostly good-natured, as he was generally happy to have Lee in the building, but he did have some great jokes, especially the sound clip runner.

Guest Bill Rating: 9/10. Mark had a really nice showing, and works well with the show.
Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Katy
Best Runner: Lee’s singing.


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