For the next Episode of the Guest Host series, NMTB turns to the man with the potato on his sleeve, Rhod Gilbert, to hopefully bring a nice enough performance. I imagine he’ll do pretty well, seeing as they end up giving him the gig 5 years later.
On the program tonight are Greg Davies, back again after a nice showing last time, former gymnast and current presenter Gabby Logan, Spandau Ballet’s Martin Kemp, and Jeremy Reynolds from Hockey.
Rhod’s demeanor is already killing me at the start of the show. Introing Martin, he says “BRILLLIANT. SPANDAU BALLET IS BACK. LET’S BOOK THE ONLY ONE THAT’S AVAILABLE!” He’s just killing the delivery by being loud enough, yet still charmed enough to be back.
Even better, they make Rhod read this: ‘SOOOO, WE BEGIN WITH…WOOP. WOOP. DAT’S DA SOUND OF DA POLICE’. And he says it in such a commonplace and, well, white way. Noel’s reaction of just cracking immediately is also mine.
Rhod: “Not quite as cool in a Welsh accent, I just figured…”
Phill: “I always wanted to know what it’d sound like if Snoop came from the Valleys.”
Rhod: “BUT HOW DID A MAN’S BALD HEAD GET MANSON IN TROUBLE WITH THE POLICE?”
Noel: “I have no idea.”
Rhod: “Well, then. At least try and banter around it.”
Noel: “I’m like Columbo, I’ll get around to it…”
Noel, on Manson: “He’s got one of Hitler’s coat-hangers, apparently?”
Gabby: “Where’d he get that?”
Rhod: “…from his wardrobe.”
Jeremy, explaining what Manson did: “And he, uh, he stuck his ‘wee-ey’ on the top of this guy’s head. Is that what you call it? Wee-ey?”
Phill: ‘He stuck an entire video game system on his head?”
Rhod: “But HOW DID A WALLAROOO…AND A GOAT-”
Phill: “What was that?”
Rhod: “A wallaroo?”
Phill: “What’s that, some kind of mythological welsh creature?”
Rhod: “I don’t know, I’m just guess-”
Phill: “WHAT KIND OF A HOST ARE YOU?!?!?!?”
Rhod’s close friends with Greg, so he takes the mick a number of times towards him.
Rhod: “Vanilla Ice found show-business hard. It’s a tough business- one minute you’re the star of one of Britain’s best-loved soaps, the next you’re sitting on a panel show with a teammate who looks like the bloated corpse of Rik Mayall!”
Greg doubles over. The odd part was Mayall was still alive at that point…
Phill: “Everytime I see Noel come towards Gabby, I feel like I’m watching 1970’s science fiction.”
Noel figures out what he’s referencing, even asking him “Blake 7”, before cracking up.
Rhod: “You know, Gabby, you can just say it when you think you know it…”
Gabby: “Do you know it?”
Rhod: “Of course I do, or else it’d be a long bloody quiz, now wouldn’t it?”
Gabby: “Gotta be something like The Four Tops…or the Jackson 5-”
Rhod: “You’re just going with numbers?”
Phill: “She thinks she’s doing the results. TOPS FOUR, JACKSONS FIVE…”
Greg takes Phill and Martin’s first intro, and just turns it into a melodically sung duet with Phill, that’s probably not the one they’re doing but is still a wonderful duet and a great moment. Phill even ends it with asking Rhod “IS IT THAT?”
Rhod’s hint to Greg is that it’s what you use to put on glasses. Greg guesses hands and ears. Everyone knows it’s ELBOW, and is trying to get Greg to guess it, especially Phill’, who’s beginning to lose his shit.
Rhod: “I’ll pass it over”
Gabby: “It IS Elbow”
Rhod: “In 2006, Elbow performed at the Manchester Against Cancer gig. If you don’t want to know the result, look away now.”
Gabby’s lost it completely.
The latest stowaway from the Lamarr era to be Garlicked- Keedie, singer of ‘I Believe My Heart’, now on the ID Parade. A shame, because she had a great game when she was on.
Greg: “It’s quite a musical number, isn’t it-”
Rhod: “Yeah, it’s a song.”
Greg: “…I will take you down.”
After Noel’s Next Lines
Rhod: “At the end of that round…you didn’t score much.”
Noel: “You were panicking more than we were. I mean, there was a sense of urgency, and you were going ‘UUUUE,SDGDSHAGREHAE'”
Rhod: “Yes, there WAS a sense of urgency because it’s meant to be a quick fire round. That’s not panicking!”
Noel: “But you’re welsh, AND with the sense of urgency. He’s American, he had no fuckin’ idea what you were talking about!”
Rhod: “Yeah, I know I am one for talking gibberish, Noel…”
Rhod: “He lives in a big house- HE LIVES IN A HOUSE. Sorry.”
Phill’s entire panel: “A VERY BIG HOUSE IN THE COUNTRY.”
Gabby: “Not as easy as it looks, is it, Welsh boy?”
Overall: Just a phenomenally fun show, even if it was a bit sparse in some parts. Rhod’s presence brought an incredible energy to the show, one that wasn’t malicious, even when he was giving Greg a hard time, but in the friendliest way possible. The panel was sharp- Gabby Logan was enjoying herself, Martin and Jeremy had nice moments, and Noel’s warming up to the show.
Guest Host Rating: 9/10. Fantastic job, Rhod.
Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Greg
Best Runner: Greg and Rhod