Nevermind Watchdown: S23E09, or Oh, get spanked!

Was so happy with last ep that I’m onto another one, this one featuring Little Britain star and ubiquitous TV personality David Walliams. Also on the bill are Josie Long, who was great in her last appearance (in the Stephen Fry show), and ANDY BLEEPING SERKIS, motion capture king and star of the Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Avengers and Planet of the Apes movies.

Basshunter’s a swedish dub/pop star. Gareth Malone was a vocal teacher who was on The Choir. Also, as if my adoration for Andy wasn’t evident by the last paragraph, the show even used ‘Wheels’ by Foo Fighters as his intro music.

David knows who he is, judging by his opening line: “I’m Matt Lucas…no, not really, he’s the short, fat, gay one. I’m David Walliams…the BIG TALL gay one.”

Noel: “What was the name of that Rihanna song?”
David: “Disturbia. She said it 10 times in the clip.”
Noel: “Is that a real word?”
David: “Disturbia, no it isn’t.”
Noel: “I was just checking, becau-”
David: “YOU MAKE UP WORDS ALL THE TIME!”
Josie: “It’s like a really old joke. “What’s the name of Rihanna’s new song?” “Disturbia” “YES IT DID, BUT WHAT’S IT CALLED?”

David, to Basshunter: “Also, you were apparently in some pornographic photos, SO I’VE HEARD…”
Bass: “My friend and I were part of a little orgy-”
David: “What, define a LITTLE orgy. Is it two people, cause that’s not really an orgy.”

Bass: “The Swedish mentality’s a little too much for you, I think.”
David, after holding a glance for five seconds: “….well, we’ll see…”

David: “Noel is there anything you banned from the Boosh tour? Jokes, or…”
Noel completely breaks here. David’s delivery was nice enough that Noel had a moment to breathe first, before the jugular hit.
Noel: “…catchphrases.”
This somehow causes Phill to laugh even harder from across the studio.

David, after the Rihanna question: “Of course, it’s bad luck to open an umbrella indoors. Other bad luck symbols include black cats, walking under open ladders, and overcooking Chris Brown’s dinner.”
The WHOLE AUDIENCE GASPS, AND OHHHHHs at this. It’s absolutely hysterical though.

David’s schtick, or a lot of it, is him sort of flirting with Bass or Gareth, or pointing out gay stuff or whatever. In real life, he’s bi (or pan I think), but he was playing up the gay aspect tonight. It works better here than someone flamboyantly gay (like, hm, I dunno, Dale Winton perhaps), because Walliams is quite funny, and can balance the gay jokes with actual humor.

David: “Now, for those of us who haven’t seen it, could you sum up the Lord of the Rings movies in a sentence?”
Andy: “uh, yeah. Frustrated boy loses ring.”
Screen Shot 2016-10-31 at 1.36.09 AM.png

Bass and Noel’s Intro for A-Punk by Vampire Weekend is a pretty great one, and Josie knows what it is immediately, but has them do it again anyway. Bass and Noel start arguing about the instruments, but Josie exclaims that she’s already got it, so Noel says ‘let’s just do the bad version’.
Later, they do the ‘Boomerang version’-Bass and Noel have such great comic timing on that one that I’m surprised that Bass isn’t a full-fledged comic.

Plus, once they play in the actual A-Punk, Bass just starts dancing, in his seat, to it. He’s having a ton of fun on the program so far, and it’s great that he’s getting along with Noel.

The second intro takes them more time, and causes Bass to jump into the bottomless pit behind the stage.
Bass: “Last time- you can spank me if I get this wrong.”
David, in response, warms up his hands.

Sure enough, they try it again, and it fails miserably, mostly because Noel doesn’t really know the song.
Noel: “GOOOOING UP AND DOWN THE- get spanked!”

David: “Super furry animals have signs at concerts, telling their fans how to react at certain moments. I suppose they’ve confused the Reading festival with the…READING Festival.”
Screen Shot 2016-10-31 at 1.47.12 AM.pngScreen Shot 2016-10-31 at 1.47.29 AM.pngScreen Shot 2016-10-31 at 1.48.07 AM.png
(That one gets a big laugh out of Basshunter.)

Also, having Gareth and Phill do intros was another wise idea, as Phill was playing Edna Turnblad at the time (‘filling Michael Ball’s spot’ “Only on weekends”). Their version of ‘West End Girls’ is a pretty great one, but the presence of that one AND the Eurythmics one is making this one of the gayest Buzzcocks ever, and that includes Boy George episodes.

On the ID Parade, finding the Bassist for Shut Up and Dance.
Gareth: “You are the Basshunter, right?”
Bass: “I am indeed…choir boy.”
Gareth: “Now’s your opportunity…”

Gareth: “I’m leaning towards #1, he’s got that look in his eye of sadness, of good times lost.”
David: “…we all have that…”
Phill: “It’s a whimsical pop quiz, not ‘In the Psychiatrist’s Chair'”

David, for Bass’ Next Lines, does a bunch of Swedish references, like a line from Swedish Chef, or a direction from the IKEA catalogue. Bass is indeed losing it.

Overall: Not perfect, but a nice show, fueled by the electric dynamic between the panelists. Josie didn’t say a ton, but her overall demeanor is ‘OH MY GOSH I LOVE THIS SHOW’, so that helps. Basshunter and Gareth did a lot just flirting with David, and Andy…sadly didn’t say a great deal, or even do any voices. David was a nice, energetic guest host, even if he did go a few too many times to the gay well, he kept the game moving and had a nice amount of jokes and attitude.

Guest Host Rating: 9/10. Solid job, David.
Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Basshunter
Best Runner: Basshunter’s orgy.

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