Nevermind Watchdown: S24E02

What I’m noticing already in Series 24 is that while the guest hosts for S23 were mostly presenters, comedians and definite personalities…the S24 ones are a bit more suspect. For instance, tonight’s guest host is Catherine Tate, who was just here on the Doctor Who episode…going absolutely mental.

As for the panelists, Tulisa’s another member of N-Dubz (“She’s no Dappy…and that’s exactly why we’ve booked her..”). Howard Marks, a particularly odd inclusion for NMTB, was a drug kingpin and smuggler. Badly Drawn Boy is…well, Badly Drawn Boy, the famed singer/songwriter. Katy Wix was a comedian and sketch comic on ‘The King is Dead’.

The options for the Leona Lewis question, including a a horse, mad hawk and a mad kestrel, cause Noel to double over laughing even before the round’s begun.

Tulisa: “I feel a bit uneducated, what’s a kestrel?”
Howard: “it’s like a hawk…”
Catherine: “It’s also a lager…”
Tulisa: “You see, that’s more like it.”

Noel: ‘Howard’s got an interesting fact about horses.”
Howard: “Yeah, they don’t recognize themselves in the mirror.”
Badly: “Howard, did a horse tell you this? How would somebody verify this?”
Howard: “By sticking a horse in front of a mirror over and over until it recognizes itself…”
(Noel and Tulisa are doubling over)
Phill: “Howard…when a horse goes ‘PFFFFFFFFF’…”
Howard: “…it means it fancies itself.”
Catherine: “What are you talking about?”
Howard: “HORSES.”

Tulisa mentions she’d been up for 24 hours as of the taping.
Noel: “We’ve got TT, who’s been up for 24 hours, HOWARD MARKS…and me, I’m vague at the best of times…we’re Team Fuzzy. We’ve got NO chance! You’re lucky we’re facing the right way!”

Badly: “Are you what 72 hours of no sleep looks like, you three?”
Noel: “If all goes well for me, [Howard] is what I could look like.”

Catherine: “Have you got a clue what this is?”
Noel: “I’m hoping it was all of them. I think she was at the zoo, and all the animals went ‘Let’s kick the shit out of her!'”
THIS is why I’m happy Noel’s the regular now, because he’s a reliable anchor AND he’s really funny.

Howard brings up another animal fact, that a dog can smell when a spider’s in the room, which leads to Badly and Tulisa wondering if spiders do in fact have BO.
Phill, suddenly breaking his silence: “AM I ON THE RIGHT SHOW???”

As much of a Heculean task it’s probably going to be to get Howard to guess an intro, I’ll say that Noel and Tulisa’s ‘Ever Fallen in Love’ one was pretty good.

Catherine, mid-intros, looks distressed. Noel asks her what’s wrong.
Catherine: “I’ve lost the card with all the N-Dubz slag on it- NO! SLANG!”
Catherine’s so ashamed, and the rest of the room’s so shocked. She has to go over and hug Tulisa, and make sure there’s no harm done.
Noel: “You know what’d be amazing? If Dappy came down now…LIKE THE URBAN KESTEL HE IS…”

Catherine tries giving some N-Dubz slang to Tulisa, but she doesn’t get any, as “it’s just those two nutters”.
Phill: “Catherine, you have to understand. Tulisa is essentially their care worker…”

Nice moment- on the playback of ‘Are You Gonna be my Girl’, Catherine and Tulisa turn it into ‘You Can’t Hurry Love’ by Phil Collins. Tulisa and Catherine are getting along really well, as you can tell Tulisa loves Catherine’s show, and was going back and forth earlier with her ‘Am I bovvered’ line.

Noel, before his ID Parade: “Howard, you must have been in a few Identity Parades in your time…”

Catherine: “Is anyone…grabbing you?”
Howard: “Oof, not yet…”

Overall: Bit of an odd show, that started stronger than it finished. I’ll give Catherine props for being really into it and excited. Noel’s team had the better day, as Noel was having a career day, and Howard and Tulisa also had some great answers. Badly was having a nice enough time, but Phill’s panel were a tad underedited.

Guest Host Rating: 8/10. Solid enough job.
Best Regular: Noel
Best Guest: Howard
Best Runner: Kestrels.


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