It’s weird- all the horrifying-looking episodes end up really good, and all the good-looking episodes end up, frankly, kind of horrifying. Tonight, Tim Minchin’s guest hosting, and even if I like his stuff I’m still worried. Either way, with the return of Paloma Faith, as well as a return for fellow Australian Jason Donovan, and a debut for fellow Tim comedian Tim Key, it’ll probably be fine. Also, DJ Target, frontman from Roll Deep, is also here.
I will say that Tim’s autocue reading skills are surprisingly not as adept as I thought they’d be, and he’s a bit rusty, but the charm is at least making it worthwhile.
On George Michael and Justin Timberlake, Tim: “Whose music proved useful in getting sharks to mate?”
Phill: “Aren’t sharks enough of a bother already, without being horny?”
Jason’s reportedly eaten shark before:
Phill: “What’s it taste like?”
Paloma: “Chicken. Everything tastes like chicken.”
Noel: “Except for After Eights, I imagine…”
Tim: “Yeah, which taste like MINT chicken…”
Phill: “I hope the Colonel’s not watching, cause then he’ll think “OOOH, THERE’S A TRICK I’VE MISSED!”
Key: “I know it’s your first time hosting, but I think maybe you should steer it away from shark rape, when that comes up…”
Tim: “I’m writing that down…”
Noel: “‘NO…SHARK RAPE…'”
Tim: “Whose music is used by doctors to revive patients? Coldplay or the Bee Gees?”
Key, deadpan: “…they should probably use other methods first…”
Tim: “Don’t you guys think that Noel and Paloma are so cute?”
Key: “NOW HANG ON A MINUTE…”
Noel: “D’you want me to be mean to Coldplay like I always am?”
Paloma: “Chris Martin’s a scientologist…”
Tim: “Is he?”
Jason mentions his ex Kylie, and the fact that they’re still semi-friendly.
Jason: “I could call her, if you want…”
Paloma: “Do you really have Kylie’s number? He doesn’t. HE’S HOLDING ONTO THE PAAASST…Let it go, you’ve got Kerry Katona…”
Jason: “I have, actually-”
Noel: “WHAT’S happening?”
I will say that Tim’s eventual CPR demonstration of how to do the BPM of Stayin’ Alive while saving someone’s life is just a perfect visual, one that has to be seen to be believed.
For Intros, Tim gives Jason an ‘Idiot Australian Cabaret Singer’ card, which is basically a way of saying that Tim can give a hint if needed.
Jason, guessing the 1st intro: “…modern?”
Phill: “No, it’s actually a thirties classic…”
Jason actually plays the Tim card, and THEY ALREADY HAVE A PIANO SET UP FOR TIM ON STAGE. This is incredible. But, even better, once Tim starts playing ‘Around the World’ by Daft Punk on the piano, it’s IMPECCABLY PLAYED, and Phill and Target keep doing it along with him. Jason does eventually get it, which is awesome.
Even better, Phill and Target’s 2nd Intro is Too Many Broken Hearts, by Jason Donovan…and Jason perks up and gets it within seconds, so happy they’re playing his song.
After Tim dances with Paloma on the table, and given that Noel’s already received a ring from Paloma on the night:
Noel: “This is the only episode where I can forsee a full orgy happening in the green room…Donovan will be wearing Tim’s cardy, my top hat AND NOTHING ELSE.”
This is great. Noel and Paloma do a really good rendition of Michael Jackson’s ‘Beat It’. Key motions for Tim to come and do it on the piano. He gets three seconds into it and Key just says ‘Beat it, Michael Jackson’, essentially just doing this to screw with him.
There’s a great runner where Tim has an invisible bow and arrow that only works when he fires it right towards Target, and he does this (with the audio cue) several times throughout the episode. After intros, he tells a poorly-received joke about Roll Deep.
Noel: “TIM…TIM…GIVE THE BOW AND ARROW TO TARGET…”
Target, on #1 of the ID Parade: “He looks like he could have grown out his beard after the band dismembered.”
Phill: “DISMEMBERED?!? WHAT KIND OF BAND *WERE* YOU???”
Target: “#3 looks angry.”
Phill, annoyed: “yeah, cause he WORKS on the SHOW!”
Jason: “Wait, maybe it IS #3…”
Phill: “It’s NOT #3, he WORKS…ON THE SHOW!”
Key: “See, the problem is you’ve picked five people that I’d be quite scared to tease..”
Overall: Light, but not without some funny moments. Noel’s entire panel were unified, and gave some of the strongest stuff, thanks to Paloma and Tim being really on, as well as the whole Noel+Paloma runner. Tim Minchin was a really nice guest host- not perfect, but did a nice job. Jason was fun but seemed to get a bit worn out as the night went on. Target had the least to do. Lots of little things, and runners, but overall a bit smaller.
Guest Host Rating: 8.5/10
Best Regular: Noel
Best Guest: Paloma
Best Runner: Arrow sound effect.