Tonight’s episode features someone I’ve never heard of as Guest Host. Knowing this season’s track record, this may be a good sign, but Tim Westwood is a noted DJ and radio personality, and host of Pimp My Ride. At least ALL OF JLS, including Aston Merrygold, is with us tonight, as well as Holly Walsh. Also, we have rapper Wiley and Russell Watson’s a famed opera singer.
Already Westwood’s style is coming off as a bit brash and obnoxious for me, but instead of awkwardly yelling the name of ‘Woop Woop, That’s the Sound of the Police’ like Frankie Boyle or Rhod Gilbert did, he just plays in the clip. He then looks over and goes “…you still here, Wiley?”
Westwood explains that anytime that Phill wants, he can switch off Marvin Humes with ANY OF THE OTHER MEMBERS OF JLS, including the beloved Aston.
Westwood talks to JLS about their new brand of condoms, and responds by pulling out a box of his own ‘Big Dog Rubbers’.
Holly: “I think that seeing your face is the best form of contraception…”
Westwood: “Now, Marvin, you’re going out with Rochelle, of the Saturdays. D’you ever put on an Aston condom, just to give him a chance?”
Marvin: “Aston can have his own chances-”
Westwood: “…with your girlfriend?”
Marvin: “…that’d be wrong, man. There are enough Saturdays, anyway…”
Phill: “OH YEAH, THAT’S THE WAY OF LOOKING AT IT! They’re like buses! Another one’ll be along in a minute!”
Yeah, Westwood is obviously not a great fit for this show. After the first round he completely blows a joke, and Noel basically tells him (without telling him) that his delivery’s crap. It’s just coming off as strained and awkward so far.
All of JLS gets to help Phill with intros, which is pretty great.
Phill: “A one two three four”
Phill: “…IT’S ON FOUR!”
Aston: “I’M SORRY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DOIN’ THE BASS!”
Phill: “Oh, ahahaha…ahaha…yeah, fuggin’ idiots. OKAY…”
Because Westwood feels bad about JLS helping Phill, he throws Noel PAT SHARP…from a few episodes ago, with the exact same chagrined expression. Man, at least Sharp’s been having a lot of fun so far in his appearances.
I think it was awfully nice of Noel’s team to do a good intro for Ghost Town by the Specials, one of Mark Lamarr’s favorite songs. I may be saying this because there’s not a ton to write about this episode.
Noel’s 2nd intro is a tune that Russell has to beatbox. Pat comes in every other four beat with a high-pitched ‘EEEEEGGH’, which cracks Russell up, even as he’s trying to do an intro.
Holly: “…it’s like a lineup for GOD!”
And once again, Pat Sharp is included as a member of the ID Parade, just as himself.
Wiley: “Got to be sensible here, lads?”
Noel: “What do you mean, not pick #5?”
Even better, when Westwood asks the real G. Morris to come forward, Pat takes an inch step, and takes it back. Pretty soon everybody wants him to go for it, even the real G. Morris. If anything, Pat Sharp is saving this show.
Overall: Not good, folks. Not good. Tim Westwood was a very wrong choice for a guest host, as he’s not good on an autocue, he’s obnoxious, and he was just too intrusive. Plus, the JLS runner didn’t work as much as it should have, and none of the panelists got a ton of time to shine, save for Holly. The only saving grace of this episode was Pat Sharp, really.
Guest Host Rating: 3/10. No thank you.
Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Holly
Best Runner: Pat Sharp.