Nevermind Watchdown: S26E05

We’ve had three great episodes and one shit one. Not a bad rundown.

This episode, while well-stocked, allowed for a crisis for the producers. Noel Fielding was absent, leaving an empty team captain seat. I imagine they called for Frankie Boyle, and he said ‘fuck off’, so they went with one of Frankie’s usual targets, surprisingly awesome NMTB semi-reg Professor Green, to fill Noel’s seat.

Aside from that, we have LEE MACK guest-hosting, Joe Wilkinson and Chris Ramsey playing against each other as opposing irritating comedians, Scottish singer-songwriter Amy Macdonald, and British R&B/soul singer Lemar. That’s a pretty solid panel.

Lee does his own cheesy intro, with many lines he thought he rejected, like “If he were a burger, he’d be a Big Mac with extra cheese”, and “If we could afford him, he’d be Michael McInt-I’M NOT DOING THAT ONE!”

On the cake with human hair
Joe: “If that was given to me, I’d say I’d like it, but I’d like you to remove one ingredient…”
Lee: “…the marzipan. Horrible, innit?”

On the ginger-haired ukelele
Amy: “I’d bet that Ed’d probably like that as a present…”
Joe: “Yeah, it’s better than the pubic cake…”

On the box in front of Phill:
Phill: “If I open up that box, and it is, in fact, Gwyneth Paltrow’s head, I’ll have thought ‘the budgets have gone up on this show’..”

There’s a whole round of ‘Lee Mack or Fleetwood Mac’, trading off rock’n’roll things. One of them is ‘Which one once threatened their accountant with a shotgun?’
Lee: “…surely Jimmy Carr should have been on that list…”

Lee basically PLUGS HIS BOOK…and then asks ‘Lee Mack or Fleetwood Mac?’
Prof: “…I dunno, but the book sounded shit…”
Lee: “You wouldn’t like it, none of the words rhyme.”

Lee: “I’ll throw it over…”
Prof: “It’s not Satisfaction, is it?”
Lee: “You’re absolutely right! It’s not!”

Joe after the 2nd intro goes: “I don’t think this round’s quite my forte…”

Lee: “I’ll give you a clue…it’s Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins, now that’s your FINAL CLUE…”
Joe: “………..IT’S BLOODY THERE!”

Joe, in character, passes it over.
Prof: “You had it, didn’t you?”
Lemar: “Uh, is it Kenny…”
Chris cracks up, then goes “Oh, thought you were serious, for a second…”
Prof: “This is why we should listen to him.”
Lemar: “I am serious!”
Chris: “HE IS SERIOUS!”

Lemar eventually says it’s “Danger Zone….KELLY!”
Chris: [breaks]
Lemar and Prof: “KEVIN! KEVIN!”

Lee goes for a standup: “We also heard automatic, with Monster. Monster’s last album, teaaarrr veer sino- No, that’s- I had a flashback, I used to be a Japanese warrior in the 14th century. WE ALSO HEARD Automatic, with Monster. CHUNG! JIA! NUH! Ah, I’ve done it again.”
“We also heard Automatic with Monster. Their last album, tear- IT’S TEAR! TEAR, ISN’T IT? They’re spelled the same, tear and tear. I don’t like words that are spelled the same but mean different things. Like Cock and Cock.”
“We also heard Automatic, with Monster. Monster’s last album….WE ALSO HEARD!”
“We also heard Automatic, with Monster. Their last album, Tear the Sign Down…OH, SIGNS! IT’S PLURAL! I thought they’d only committed one crime. I didn’t know they were repeat offenders!”
He finally relents: “We also heard Automatic, with Monster. Good, wa’nt it? Move on.”

Lee: “The Spice Girls reunited to perform at the 2012 Olympic closing ceremonies. It was the first time they’d performed together since….they met.”

This reminds me of last series’ Jack Dee show, as the producers tried to intervene on an already-amazing guest host by repeatedly stop the show to cater to them. It’s not working near enough tonight, and the panel is a very weak one.

Joe, on the ID Parade: “UK Garage isn’t really my…THANG.”

Lee’s nicknames for the Toy Doll ID Parade get progressively funnier.
#4: “Blow Up Doll”
#5: “Show me on the doll where he touched you.”
The whole room needs ten seconds to recover from this. Green is slapping the table.

Chris: “#1 hasn’t blinked!”
#1: [winks]
Chris: “AUGH!”

Lee: “True or false, Kane West said-”
Prof: “KANE WEST? KAYNE???”
The whole audience cracks up here, even Chris.
Lee, to quiet the audience: “I’M FORTY-FOUR!”

Prof: “I hate Angry Birds.”
Chris: “IS THERE ANYTHING YOU LIKE? They should call you Professor GRAY…Ya miserable bastard!”

Still n the true or false round
Lee: “George Michael said ‘…honestly, you’re gonna have to wet that ‘fore you put it in…NO, TRUE OR-”
The whole panel completely dies laughing before he can continue.

Overall: A down episode, but there were definitely highlights. Lee did what he could- he had some nice off-the-cuff moments and he was in the right mindset, but the producers were trying to craft the show to him, and that never works well. The panel was dead- Joe Wilkinson had some good lines, as did Chris Ramsey, but nothing really managed to stay afloat. Professor Green was a good enough fill-in, but didn’t exactly command the game.

Guest Host Rating: 8/10. Down a bit, but still admirable.
Best Captain: Phill
Best Guest: Joe
Best Runner: Automatic with Monster.

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3 thoughts on “Nevermind Watchdown: S26E05

  1. Thanks to this episode I now refer to the song “Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins as “Cup”.

  2. Having watched this episode again, I really don’t think Professor Green was that good as a stand-in for Noel. They should have tried to get David Mitchell or Rob Brydon instead.

    Speaking of which, would you consider a Watchdown of “Would I Lie To You?” at some point?

    • I have considered this several times, because a friend of mine, the guy that got me into QI, is also a huge fan of WILTY, and…to be honest, it’s got everything I want in a panel show. Impressions, those three regulars, ample appearances by Bob Mortimer and Greg Davies, and an excuse to talk about why maaayyyybe we haven’t given Angus Deayton a fair shake, no pun intended. Problem is I’m probably not not gonna get to it until after I’m done with WLIIA-UK. But i definitely want to do that one.
      Also yeah, Prof was a bit too passive as guest Noel that maybe they should have just got Frankie back or something.

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