Nevermind Watchdown: S26E10, or Which One of you Melted Under the Heaton?

Onto another one, this one hosted by Episodes star and comedy personality Stephen Mangan, in the so-called ‘World Music Appreciation’ show. They’ve been doing a lot of ‘gimmick theme’ shows lately, and hopefully this one will be a bit more tongue-in-cheek.

Aside from Sway, who was here for the Russell Brand show, we have ex-popstar Michelle Heaton, Iranian-British actor and Four Lions star Kayvan Novak, and quite possibly one of the funniest women to ever be a semi-regular on Mock the Week, Katherine Ryan.

The first Guest Who round has a very disturbing combination card:
Screen Shot 2017-03-23 at 3.58.29 PM.png
Phill: “Is this the portrait in Madonna’s attic?”
Michelle: “Looks a bit Hulk Hogany, ya think?”
Phill: “Yes, if Hulk Hogan was hosting on Loose Women…”

Stephen: ‘Which one of [Iggy Pop and Ke$ha] claimed to have had sex with a ghost?’
Phill, Comic Book Guy voice: “WORST…SCOOBY DOO EPISODE…EVER…”

Noel: “What sort of ghost, like a traditional ghost? Because that’s just a sheet with eye holes…”
Phill: “Presumably the first thing you’d need to do is cut a third hole in it…”
Noel: “A glory hole…”

Noel: ‘Was it a Pac-Man ghost? Was it the pink one? Because he’s quite randy…”
Phill: ‘Were they having sex with a ghost, or were they having a whack-off with a sheet?’

Katherine says she learned what the phrase ‘grime artist’ meant earlier: “I used to think it just meant you make paintings with manure…”
Sway: “You’re wrong though…”
Katherine: “I know that now, but I’m learning…”

Phill: “Who was the ghost of?”
Noel: “Headless horseman?”
Katherine: “I think you should be able to have sex with a horse and not go to jail…”
Noel: “I can’t imagine many horses are gonna phone the police…”
He then does an Alan-Davies-esque miming of a horse trying to use a phone.

Sway talks about meeting Kanye West once, and that he was “pretty cool”
Noel: “Well THAT’S a boring story…”
Sway: “I did meet him one time in New York, and then another time in London, and he totally didn’t know who I was…”
Noel: “…what a wanker…”
Katherine: “Threatened by your music? And paintings?”

The ‘Stephen Mangan style’ runner, where Stephen asks questions about international bands, is pretty much a dead runner, but it does lead to a nice line from Noel about a Japanese band that just sort of stands around their instruments as a backing band plays in.
Noel: “Kinda like One Direction…”

The teams are given exotic international instruments to help with intros, which is a nice old favorite being brought back.

After Phill and Michelle’s ‘Material Girl’ intro, Kayvan just starts drumming and humming along, despite not knowing the title.
Stephen, joining him in pounding: “Let’s just do the show right here…”

And then, in the middle of this, PHILL…DOES THIS:
Screen Shot 2017-04-08 at 12.37.49 AM.png

As the Madonna clip plays back in:
Phill: “*SOME* boys…HAHAHAHAHAHA…”

Screen Shot 2017-04-08 at 12.39.21 AM.png

Katherine: “Did you see Madonna’s nipple in Lithuania?”
Phill: “WHO…HASN’T…SEEN MADONNA’S NIPPLE…IN LITHUANIA? It’s now…on the flag.”

Also, this episode is probably the 54th time since 1996 that someone has done an intro for ‘Firestarter’ by the Prodigy on this show.

Noel, getting up for intros, to Katherine: “I think you’re gonna be good at this…”
Katherine: “…you’re wrong.”

Katherine says she once saw Drake throw a bottle at Chris Brown.
Noel: “What, do they fight over Rihanna? Except he just fights Rihanna-”
Katherine: “No, Chris Brown did that-”
Noel: “Drake just pecked her…”
[Jupitus giggling]

Sway and Noel know Katherine’s not gonna get the 2nd intro, so Noel just starts pounding on the big African drum he has as they do the intro…then Phill chimes in with the ram-horn, and Stephen has his instrument, and it’s just this barrage of cacophony. Poor Katherine.
Sway: “Love…you’re ruining it…”
Phill: “OH, *WE’RE* RUINING IT…”

Michelle mentions for Noel’s ID Parade that she MIGHT have hit it off with the correct person in the lineup.
Phill: “You’re from Newcastle, so the number of people you could have hit it off with…HIGH…”
Katherine: “Which one of you melted under the Heaton…”

Katherine’s also killing it at Next Lines, so even if this is a lighter show, she’s still keeping the energy insanely high.

Overall: Yeah, light but still kinda fun. The International theme did take a lot away from the dynamic, and Stephen was a bit more by-the-book than funny, but he kept things going. 3/4ths of the panel were more focused on having a good time than being funny, which…I can respect. Kayvan Novak was quiet, but I’m glad he was on, and Sway had some nice moments, but Katherine Ryan saved the show, by…well, being Katherine Ryan.

Guest Host Rating: 7.5/10- Good, but not enough to fall under an 8.
Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Katherine
Best Runner: Sway’s paintings.

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