Louise Belcher hosting Nevermind the Buzzcocks. Never would have called it, but happy it’s happening.
This Kristen Schaal-fronted Buzzcocks also features a WELCOME return from David O’Doherty, X-Factor finalist and Celebrity Big Brother winner Rylan Clark, X-Factor WINNER James Arthur, and radio personality and TV presenter Alice Levine.
Kristen, top of the show, is insanely high-energy and has lots of cute screaming. I think this is gonna be a fun show.
Kristen starts the show by asking the panelists some questions. She asks Alice if she’s met Tori Amos, which she hasn’t.
Kristen: “You look a lot like her.”
Alice: “Well, maybe that’s why we’ve never met.”
Kristen: “…because you’re her.”
Alice, deadpan towards the camera: “Because I’m her.”
Phill: “WHOOOOOAHHHH NELLY!”
Rylan: “I’ve slept with that…”
Phill: “SLEPT? Not a WINK, sir…”
David: “It’s a slightly, uh, Hitlery hair at the top, so…did Hitler have any songs?”
Kristen: ‘Oh, YEEAHHH! He had a whole catalogue of songs!”
Phill: “Here we come…marching down your str- oh, no.”
Kristen reiterates the Mojave desert question
Rylan: “I don’t know what that means.”
Kristen: “IT MEANS THERE’S A DESERT CALLED MOJAVE!”
James says he doesn’t remember meeting Robbie, because he was sleepy.
Kristen: “It’s because you’re growing…”
Noel: “You’re like a koala, James…”
Then they talk about how all Koalas have an STD
Kristen: “So…is this because someone got a bit too snugly with a koala?”
Noel: “…yeah, James is the source. ‘Uh, Koala Syphyllis, that was me…”
Then Kristen steers it into a discussion on Sloths having sex.
Phill: “I mean, the sloth already has the cum-face…”
Kristen: “IS THAT YOUR CUM FACE?”
Phill: “It’s not just one, you have a range…”
Kristen: “Then do your best one.”
Phill: “Yeah, my best one is…*DDDYAAAAHHHHHH!*
Alice says hers is more considerate, like a thumbs up.
Rylan: “You’re so well spoken, though. I feel like your one would be “Hi, I’m Alice Levine…oh…”
Alice: “Why am I only introducing myself at that point? ‘By the way, I’m Alice Levine! OOH!'”
Rylan says he can’t do his.
Noel: “I’ve got it on my phone, hold on a sec…”
Kristen: “Noel, what’s yours?”
Noel: “You can download it off iTunes…”
Kristen’s just loving this. For the next panel’s round, she’s at full 100: “NOEL, JAMES, ALICE….HELLO!!!!”
David: “I once met Kelly Rowland. I genuinely did…SHE WAS ON THIS SHOW!”
Phill, remembering: “YES!”
Noel: “Does that mean I’ve met her? Literally no memory of that whatsoever.”
Alice, pointing to the right photo: “No, this one, THIS ONE.”
Noel: “No, I know which one she is…”
On whether Rowland or Mick Jagger got lost at sea.
Alice: “I feel like Jagger has a great internal GPS…”
Phill: “The Mick Jagger GPS? [Expert Jagger impression]…okAAYYY TURN LEFT!….not sure which way WE GO KEITH WHICH WAY WE GO AAHHHH?”
Noel, as Keith: “Listen, if you don’t turn left I’m fucking getting out of the car…”
Phill, getting up for Intros with Rylan: “Your honor, my client here….just a simple boyyyy with a mouth and a dream…”
Dear God, the intro Phill and Rylan did for Snoop Dogg’s ‘What’s My Name’ was insane…but still hella accurate, and i’m proud.
David: “What era’s it from?”
Rylan: “My era. When I was alive.”
Noel: “Your ERA? You’ve got your own era?”
After James screws up the name of the song.
Noel: “King Koala came in strong…and then passed out in a Eucalyptus tree…”
James, pre-intros: “I dunno how we’re gonna do this..”
Noel: “Well, what’s gonna happen is you’re gonna come down from your tree…”
ID Parade was a bit muddied, as they had 1 ID Parade round…and one ‘which object goes with which person’ round that they’re referring to as an ID Parade round. This one more than the rest, the formatting’s interfering with the episode.
Okay, it pissed me off, but I laughed- the game ended in a tie, so Phill’s team got Next Lines first…and they get a bunch of Tori Amos lines, going back to the runner. They don’t get a single one. So, Kristen gives Noel a Queen one, which he gets instantly, and Phill cries ‘NO!’ as the end of round buzzer goes off.
Phill’s ENTIRE TEAM leave the stage. He throws his chair on the set and goes ‘TAKE THIS BACK TO AMERICA!”
Kristen: ‘SUCK IT!”
Overall: Weird show. Can’t say I loved every second of it. Kristen was a good enough host, but she came off as more shrill than sooting at most points. The panel was nice, but it was an odd dynamic of TV people…and just David O’Doherty sort of by himself. There was a Tori Amos runner that kept going, an ID Parade round that was only half an ID Parade round, a Next Lines that ended with an entire team walking off the set, and…some funny moments, yes, but a lot of production interference, which was mostly absent from the last five. Not a great show, which is a shame.
Guest Host Rating: 7.5/10. Energy was there, but she got too annoying for me.
Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Rylan
Best Runner: James the sloth.