Nevermind Watchdown: S27E06, or STOP CONFUSING THE RYDER!

Onto another Buzzcocks, this one featuring morning show host and part-time Jabba the Hutt, Eamonn Holmes.

The panel’s light enough but still kind of happening, with Sarah Millican back, an appearance from Shaun Ryder from the Happy Mondays, requisite comedian Greg McHugh, and Jaymi Hensley was in pop-act Union J.

Eamonn enters the show in full Elvis getup.
Eamonn: ‘Did anyone actually think that was Elvis?”
Phill: “I’ll be honest, Eamonn, a bit of me did think ‘good lord, Elvis..a larger part of me thought we were at a very odd North Korean rally…”

I will say the best part of seeing Eamonn jiggle around in his Elvis getup is seeing Shaun Ryder long for death’s sweet embrace on the side. Man, if you think this is bad, wait until you see what the next guy in that chair thinks of Rizzle Kicks…

Phill, reiterating the Kesha question: “She asks people to sing to her in Dinosuar language?”
Shaun: “Barney the dinosaur…yeah, still watch him 5 times a week…puts me to sleep every time…”
Noel: “Is he the purple one, Barney…”
Phill: “Oh, here we go…you two…”

Eamonn: “Do you really watch Barney the Dinosaur?”
Shaun: “I actually do…it got me on Peppa Pig…”
Sarah: “Is that because you’re addicted to them?”
Noel: “‘I’m down to two Peppa Pigs a day…'”

Phill has to reexplain the sheep option to Sarah, that Kesha gets a person to dress up as a sheep and hop over a fence to get her to sleep.
Sarah: “Just one, though? Over and over again? That’s knackering, isn’t it?”
Noel: “The assistant has to pretend to be different sheep every time, slightly changing their hairstyle.”
Noel does a good impression of different sheep noises this person would do.

Phill: “Shaun, have you ever had an assistant?”
Shaun: “…me? I mean, we just went out and got a tour bus, let alone an ASSISTANT…”
Phill: “Who drives it?”
Shaun: “Bez.”
Phill: [breaks]

Maybe I’ve been watching this show too long, but I already knew, when Eamonn started a standup about how dinosaurs talked, that it would ultimately end with a Bruce Forsythe joke (JUH-JUH-JUH-JUH-JUH…GOOD GAME!)

Sarah’s prop is a self-spinning spoon-in-teacup, which produces this whirring noise.
Sarah: “…I recognize the sound…”

Eamonn does a round where people have to guess if objects are on Shaun Ryder’s rider, or someone else’s. The last one is actually Sarah Millican’s rider.
Phill: “You missed the last bit, it was ‘and a little bit of heroin…JUST A TINY BIT, JUST TO TEEAAKE THE EDGE OFF!”
Sarah: “D’you think I sound like Elmo??”

Eamonn: “In her adolescence, J-Lo was nicknamed La Guitarra, because of her round, curvy shape…and because she was wooden and completely hollow inside.”

Shaun, getting up for intros: “…I am so shit at this…”

Shaun and Phill’s attempt at their first intro is great, because Phill’s trying to get Shaun to do a constant beat sound, but Shaun can’t stay in time…and then both Greg and Noel think it’s the Flash Gordon theme. As Phill’s trying to get back to the right one, Noel’s still going ‘GORDON’S ALIVE!’
Shaun, continuing suddenly: “…DUM DUM DUM DUM-”
Phill: “NO, NOT NOW!”

Eamonn: “In 2012, 19 people were injured at a Linkin Park concert….that is the last time I go crowd-surfing.”
Phill loses it at this one.

Eamonn: “When performing with Gorillaz, Damon Albarn shares the stage with ludicrous two-dimensional characters…I know the feeling, I worked with Anthea Turner for years…”
Man, the stand-up bits they’re writing for Eamonn are INSANE tonight.

ID Parade:
Phill: “Before the show, Shaun said ‘they might put one of the Mondays on, I probably wouldn’t recognize him…”
Shaun: “#2 is BEZ!”

Sarah: “#5, does that not look sexy to you?”
Jaymi: “Not to me.”
Phill: ‘Are you mental?”
Jaymi: “No, just gay, so…”
Phill completely loses it here, before, between chuckling, going “I didn’t know…”

Next Lines: “I’m so exicted!”

Overall: Light show, though not without its moments. Eamonn did sort of tire out the Elvis runner, but he was really, really good at keeping the show running. The panel was uneven, but Sarah had some nice moments, and Shaun, though confused, was having a really, really nice time.

Guest Host Rating: 8/10
Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Shaun
Best Runner: Elvis


2 thoughts on “Nevermind Watchdown: S27E06, or STOP CONFUSING THE RYDER!

  1. I should explain that back in the 1990s, Eamonn hosted on GMTV, a breakfast show, with Anthea Turner. The pair famously never got on (and occasionally it showed on screen), with Eamonn theatening to quit in 1996 unless Anthea was sacked.

  2. The events of the 90’s that the panel wrote down to see if Shaun Ryder could remember them…

    Eamonn: Man Utd Treble 1999 (Manchester United FC winning the FA Premier League, FA Cup and the UEFA Champions League in the 1998-9 season)
    Phill: Birth of my kids
    Greg: My 15th birthday
    Jaymi: I was born
    Noel: BEZ (along with a picture of Bez)
    Sarah: I lost my virginity

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