Nevermind Watchdown: S28E06, or ‘There You Go, End With Some Dignity’

Onto another fun-filled Rhod Buzzcocks. This one features Lisa Stansfield, who hasn’t been on since the pregnant Claudia Winkleman episode, funny Irish lady and panel show staple Aisling Bea, a return for Scissor Sister and unexpected panel dominator ANA MATRONIC, and a return for effetely funny friend of Tony Blackburn Joe Lycett. That’s a very, very nice panel.

Rhod: “And we start the show this week with the IDENTITY PARADE??”
Phill: ‘WHAT? GILBERT, YOU’RE MAD WITH POWER!”

This is an insane ID Parade twist- the guest for Phill’s is Dane Bowers- he’s been on a billion times. But the trick is that they need to figure out solely from the singing voice which one is Dane. That’s pretty interesting.

It’s amusing as hell hearing the ones who can’t even sing. #2 makes Lisa cringe a bit. #4 sounds downright demonic, and is just ridiculous from the start.
Ana: “Definitely #4…”

Screen Shot 2017-07-02 at 11.23.40 PM.pngAisling: “They look a bit like the Village People, and then their mad friend at the end…”

Aisling, with the help of Joe, gets them all to do the ‘YMCA’, except for 2, who just looks around, bewildered.
Phill: “No, #2 is the ALL-SEEING EYE OF SARUMAN…”

Lisa, as opposed to her usual somber mood, goes over to #4, being over like he’s on the loo, and draws a little poo underneath him. Time really helps her smooth out, I guess..

It’s amusing as hell, because Aisling wants them all to sing other things, but all they can sing is ‘I WANNA GET FREAKY WITH YOU’. Heck, Rhod asks #4 to do it again, and he cracks up halfway through.

And once Dane breaks through the silhouette, Noel goes over and takes his spiky helmet, saying ‘I’m having this’.
Aisling: “Aw, if he’s getting’ the hat, can I have the angel wings?”
Noel, as Joe runs over: “Joe, leave the trousers on him…”

Rhod asks if Dane’s still touring.
Dane: “Yeah, still touring, DJing…otherwise just showing up on TV dressed as a bellend…”

And NOEL’S ID Parade has the second Garlicking in a row, this one also coming from the early days of Buzzcocks: Ashley Slater from Freak Power, who was literally on Episode 2 of the show, and did an insanely good rendition of Blue Monday with Phill, is on the ID Parade, and he’s obviously #2.

Once Rhod talks to him afterwards, he shows a ton of the laid back, droll, ironic humor he showed back in S1. Obviously times are a bit tougher, though.

Joe does a really nice impression of the X-Factor announcer…prompting Ana to wonder who that is. Pretty soon, Aisling’s doing a surprisingly good Louis Walsh impression. Just a very nice, fun dynamic.
And then Ana asks what impression Lisa Stansfield can do…and she tries doing a Jane Horrocks impression, but Noel even says ‘that’s the same as your OWN voice!”

Rhod: “Joe doesn’t like other people doing impressions.”
Joe, X-Factor voice: “GET OFF MY TURF.”

Joe: “Can you imagine if you were having sex with [Peter Dickson] and he was just going ‘AAACH’, like that?”
Rhod: “Yeah, that would be the worst thing about having sex with him, his voice.”
Joe, summing up the room’s reaction: “awwww, poor Peter…”
Rhod: “Quite right, that was awful, I’d LOVE to have sex with you, Peter Dickson. I take it all back, Peter, I’d like nothing mo-”
Phill: “AND NOW, THE SOUND OF PETER DICKSON HAVING SEX WITH RHOD GILBERT!”
Joe, Peter voice: “AAAAH, I’M ABOUT TO CUM, RHOD!”

After the 10 second clip from D’Angelo’s ‘Untitled (How Does It Feel)’
Joe, ever the thirsty one: “…I’m gonna need a minute.”
Rhod: “allow me, Joe.”
Screen Shot 2017-07-02 at 11.44.51 PM.png

Aisling: “There’s probably a guy out of frame yanking on his balls so he can hit the high note.”
Rhod, hearing the word balls: “WAIT A MINUTE!”
And then Rhod pounds on D’Angelo’s balls as the bongo noise returns. Heck, the audience even gives some recognition applause.

Noel, channeling Bill Bailey: “i think…the reason they’ve cut this video there is that he’s a mermaid.”
Ana: “MerMAN.”

Rhod is extra strict in his intros judging with Aisling, nearly docking a point as she gives ‘Teardrops’ when it wasn’t plural, and throwing it over when she doesn’t get the actual title to the Vengaboys song.
The audience, sure enough, boos Rhod.
Rhod: “This isn’t a pantomime, calm down…”

Rhod: “I’m sorry, but it’s come from the top.”
Aisling: “What, JESUS told you to give me…”

Rhod: “In 2003, Frontman 3D and Damon Albarn paid for a full-page ad in the NME, against the Iraq War. Unfortunately, George Bush was still reading Smash Hits at the time [breaks] and the war went ahead as planned [breaks harder]”

Ana’s rendition of Larger Than Life by the BSB consists of a lot of misplaced loud screaming, and one or two confused looks to Rhod. Can’t write someone like her.

Joe, on Noel’s intro: “The last time I’d had a man in a glittery top sing at me, I’d been on Grindr earlier…”
Noel, as a Grindr profile: “I like anal and dressin’ up as Tron.”

However, Ana and Noel’s rendition of, I assume, the Norman Cook remix of Brimful of Asha, completely makes up for the misplaced BSB screams. It’s pretty damned perfect.

Rhod, on the BSB: “In 2006, Kevin Richardson left the band to pursue other interests…and he’s now in the music industry…”

Right before next lines, Phill and Lisa share a brief staring contest, with Lisa just wiping out with a scary expression. Man, she’s having so much fun tonight.

Rhod: “So I’m moving to New York.”
Lisa: “….when?”

Rhod: “And you can hear it in my accent when I talk.”
Phill: “AY’M FROM THE VALLEY!”

Rhod, for a visual clue, throws a bucket of sand on his head.
Joe: “…I have a serious mental health problem?'”

Rhod basically keeps everyone late until they guess the correct song title, as he put in too much effort to look like that for no reason.

Aisling guesses it’s Bastille.
Aisling: “It was really worth the prop, Rhod, I think it went really well…”

Rhod just sits there, covered in ash, embarrassed that the gag went wrong.
Phill: “Rhod Gilbert exposes crippling drug habit on television.”

Sure enough, Noel hands his helmet over to Rhod, and Aisling gives him the wings, saying ‘here, end with some dignity.”

Overall: Better than Episode 5, though not as good as 3 and 4…but STILL PRETTY DAMNED GOOD! The entire panel had something funny to do throughout the show, without a single dull moment. Ana was a few pegs down from last time, though she didn’t have Peter Andre to screw with. Lisa was just having a ball. The comedians won this one, with Joe having some hysterical moments, and Aisling making a name for herself outside of QI and tussling with Rhod for points. Solid show, complete with a really nice ending capper, and a great, but odd, ID Parade.

Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Joe
Best Runner: Peter Dickson

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