Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S06E07, or “Can I Just Say…I’m Not Playing Anymore”

In 2014, Ryan Stiles fell ill before a taping of Whose Line is it Anyway, currently being filmed in Los Angeles, California. While short-term preparations were made (Jeff Davis was brought to suppress current-guest Greg Proops), the long term realization was the fact that this was the first time in 20 years that Stiles had missed an episode of Whose Line.

The last time was, of course, this episode of WL, the last time Patterson and co would try to stack a panel with people that weren’t Ryan, after the success of two shows in Series 5 featuring Sweeney & Steen. Instead of doing that, they showcased the OTHER series regular, Tony Slattery, the two frequent old-guard guests, Josie Lawrence and Mike McShane….and an impressionist and actor that hadn’t been on since John Sessions was still a regular, the talented Rory Bremner.

So we had a strong, nearly S1-esque panel…right before the remainder of the series, which is all Ryan stuff. This could be the last gasp of the early era of the show…or a reason why they never went back.

Scenes from a Hat:

As Clive explains the game, Mike starts making silly, competitive glances with Josie, to the point where, as Clive is about to announce the first game, both SQUAT INTO A SUMO POSITION.
Clive: “…yes, very convincing.”
This is the energy at Moment 0

Clive: “What your adolescence was really like”
Tony: [enters]
Josie: [enters]
Tony: [exits]
Clive: “…yes.”
Tony: “‘t’s true!”
Clive: “We all believe you, Tony.”

“Two politicians meet in the urinals.”
Screen Shot 2018-02-26 at 11.18.40 PM.png
Rory, premiering his infamous John Major impression: “I must say, it makes a change to take the piss out of myself…”

Clive: “Unlikely erogenous zones.”
Tony: “Algeria.”

Clive: “The Biggest Jerk in the World.”
Josie, IMMEDIATELY: “..Tony?”

Clive: “Pointless things to take when crossing the sahara.”
Josie: “I’ve got the sand!”
Tony: “And I’ve got Marg Thatcher.”
Josie: [Breaks]

Sports Report: Tortoise and the Hare- Rory and Tony in the studio, Josie and Mike in the field

Clive: “In the field will be Josie Lawrence, who will be interviewing anyone who comes along…and anybody who comes along will be Mike McShane.”
Mike: [nods. “figures”]

Instead of this being a NEWS REPORT, this is actually covering the race, replacing the world-famous News Report music with some SUPER-90s SPORTS MUSIC. There’s not a lot of time for Rory and Tony to do the ‘fast-motion silent babblin’ while the music comes in, but Tony does manage to say ‘..shall I bring a bottle’ right before Rory goes in.

Rory: “Tortoise and the hare- the hair, of course, a subject very close to Clive Anderson’s head.”
Screen Shot 2018-02-26 at 11.54.01 PM.png

Rory, in proctoring, focuses less on jokes and more on mimicking a sportscaster, which is not to Greg caliber, but still very indicative of Rory.

Josie: “You don’t think you’re being a bit cock-sure about this?”
Mike: “Listen sweetheart, I’ve bred maybe 50 family members this morning, I’m sure cock-sure…”

Rory, afterwards: “Right, a man that makes Chris Eubank look, uh, modest, there.”

Mike’s slow movements as the tortoise win over the audience very quickly.

Josie: “D’you think you’re going to win?”
Mike: “……………..It depends.”

Tony and Rory do well, but are making references to very specific people and sports things, so that it’s not an especially accessible round, but was still very funny, especially the Josie-Mike stuff.

Film Dub: Tony and Rory are three (!) men arguing over what to have for lunch

Tony, upon Rory’s first impression: “Yes, I’m afraid I’ve got a very boring Michael Caine standing behind me…”

Screen Shot 2018-02-27 at 12.04.28 AM.png

Rory: “…Afternoon everybody…I ordered the egg mayonnaise..”
Tony, as a foreign general in a great accent: “YOU KNOW THIS MAN IS EVEN MORE BORING THAN MICHAEL CAINE.”

Screen Shot 2018-02-27 at 12.06.46 AM.pngThe shot holds on this for 10 seconds, while Moore is still talking. There’s silence. So Tony improvises
Rory: “I see you went to the same acting school I did!”

Rory, in delivery that will never not kill me: “…..very interesting.”

Tony: “I walk with this terrible piece of acting towards the camera, and you are all left in the background. Now, tell me what you think about that, eh?”

Screen Shot 2018-02-27 at 12.09.38 AM.pngScreen Shot 2018-02-27 at 12.09.47 AM.png
[PERFECT. Even Clive’s losing it.]

A very, very fun scene, made better by Tony’s accent and Rory’s fantastic Roger Moore impression.

Prison Visitor: Josie
Tony: stole a jumbo jet
Mike: smuggled a grandfather clock

Tony has a great moment that not a lot of people catch:
Screen Shot 2018-02-27 at 12.12.05 AM.pngScreen Shot 2018-02-27 at 12.12.14 AM.png

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Tony embraces the goofiness of his, by singing about how he ‘hooked a 747 down my pants’.

As Josie sings the rebuttal verse, Tony grabs the bar set and swings it to whichever direction he’s bobbing to, which is a hysterical visual, the prisoner picking up the iron bars and dancing with them…and not choosing to escape.

Tony gives Josie a look at the end of her rebuttal verse, and as Tony walks back to the seats, Josie gives him a swift kick in the butt.

Then, as Clive gets the suggestion for Mike, Mike is doing a Gorillas in the Mist routine with Josie over the bars.


A very cute number all around from Josie and Mike, and a capper on a really fun game of Prison Visitor, which is refreshing in the age of Bartender taking over.

World’s Worst: Person to be President During an Intergalactic Crisis

Rory, as Reagan: “…will ya give me another go?”
[Mike HOWLS at that one]

Tony: “Ladies and gentlemen, Richard Nix-….oh dear.”
The audience applauds, then boos, which Tony notes.
Tony: “…reconciliation, then…”
Clive: “topical now, but it’ll be great in 6 months time when this goes out.”
Tony: “He’ll still be dead!”

Rory, as Clive: “Right, well, I’d like you to form a government in the style of, um, well…”

Very funny round, especially for those dark highlights.

Props: Rory and Tony vs. Josie and Mike

Screen Shot 2018-02-27 at 12.29.41 AM.pngTony: “…Naomi Campbell!”

Rory, beating the props: “I learned to drum in a library.”

This one got REALLY silly after a while, especially on Tony and Rory’s side.

Duet: Mike and Josie sing an early rock and roll song about a boiler

Mike: “Early rock and roll, what, before THIS point in your hairline, or THIS point…”
Man, the Clive slams are coming from everywhere tonight..

Josie has a great start, but Mike amps the energy the second he starts singing, and gets the audience laughing along with him.

Party Quirks: Tony hosts
Josie: football player
Rory: thinks he’s Tony
Mike: pig wrangler

[Mike loses it in the background]
Tony, figuring it out: “OH, HA HA HA….HAAAAA HAAAA…”
The audience applauds for about 10 seconds after the buzz-out.

Tony, to the camera: “Can I just say….I’m not playing anymore…”

Mike’s is great, because he starts wrangling a pig, then tosses it to Josie, who bounces it on her head. It’s a fantastic collaborative move.

A lower-key party for Tony, even if it ends in him not knowing what a pig-wrangler was even after Clive gives it to him.

Clive: “You’ve proved one thing, Tony, that you can always recognize it when they’re impersonating YOU, so I’ll give you a few points for that.”
Clive: “…and you can take a joke.”

Helping Hands: Mike is a plane passenger, and Josie, ft Tony’s hands, is the stewardess.

Tony, ever the cheeky one, holds his arms up so his forearms are right against Josie’s chest, which cracks her up.

Mike starts the scene by making a very oblique reference to Air Canada, and immediately apologizes for it. Either he was making a product plug, or there was a 1994-era reference that’s lost on me.

Josie mentions it’s actually Air Bangkok, and Tony responds by doing a lewd finger gesture.

Josie, realizing what Tony’s going for: “And if you’ve got a baby on the plane, we ALWAYS LIKE TO PUT…[..] a cake on its head…”

Josie: “They’re not thinking “OH DEAR I’M FLYING IN THE SKY”, they’re thinking “…what the bloody hell have I got a cake on my head for…”

Josie gets something in her eye, so Tony throws his hand towards Josie’s face. Josie, in a rare show of retribution, opens her mouth and bites down on one of his fingers. You can see, sort of like Colin’s coffee disaster, the pain and reaction. He also responds by grabbing Josie’s chest once again.

And not even playfully rubbing up against her chest. Tony, at the end of this game, is outwardly feeling Josie up, in an effort mostly to get a reaction out of her. In 2018, people would cry foul, but Tony was literally going for retribution and screwing with his fellow improviser rather than being a perv. It’s like Colin trying to figure out who’s a man and who’s a woman in Party Quirks.

The game ends abruptly, as Tony’s feeling around, and as Mike’s trying to revert the game back to good improv, but it’s still a funny enough scene, even if it did get a bit crazy.

Hoedown: Pony Trekking

Rory: “I like going on ponies, and bashing them with bricks
It doesn’t really hurt me but it makes them go much faster…”

Both Mike and Josie do more unconventional Hoedowns, and this only sort of works for them.

Tony: “I like to go a-trekking on the country on a pony
I’m very friendly with the critter, I say HELLO I’M TONY…
And then- OH LOOK OUT there’s something nasty in the way
It’s not a pony dumpy, but it’s Mr. Anderson’s toupee.”
ONE MORE CLIVE SLAM to end the night.

Overall: Another strong show from a very strong series. The presence of Ryan Stiles wasn’t exactly missed, as Tony, Mike and Josie were all strong enough together, as they have been on various occasions since the beginning. This was Tony’s show to carry, as coke-aside he was pretty funny tonight, working well with everyone, and giving good stuff in every game, even if he had to grope a fellow improviser. Josie and Mike excelled at musical moments, and gave some classy stuff to the proceedings. While Rory Bremner brings up the rear, this was still a welcome return for him; his impressions were fantastic, but his improv still needs work. He would return intermittently and interact with the Ryan-Colin-Greg crowd.

Show Winner: Mike
Best Performer: Tony Slattery, for making me laugh even while guessing himself
Worst Performer: Rory Bremner for not doing much else other than impressions.
Best Game: Helping Hands, for having so many funny moments in a short span, and for having some lampshading with Tony and Josie.
Worst Game: Props, by default

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S06E06, or I HAVE NO LUNGS.

More fun with people who are really, really good at working together this series- our third and final Colin, Ryan, Steve and Tony show of the season, and one of the most colorful ones. Lots of different colored shirts from everyone, plus Colin’s world-famous red Woody Woodpecker tie.

Questions Only: At a clothes shop

Tony, as Colin enters: “Yes, sir, can I help you?”
Colin: “…CAN you help me?”
Tony: “…..”

This round is great not just for lines, but for seeing people work together, especially Steve working with Tony and Ryan. You can tell he’s sensationally happy tonight.

Ryan: “Is your face easy to forget?”
Colin: “Does William Hurt?”

Ryan: “Did I go to school with you?”
Clive’s buzzed Ryan for that anyway.

And then Clive brings Tony back in, and he blows it in one line. Still, as they walk back to the seats, you can tell everyone was having a really fun time.

Whose Line: An airplane is going down, and Colin convinces washed-up pilot Ryan to take the helm

Colin, ever the smartass, starts the scene with the line: “Have you finished washing up?”

Ryan: “I CAN’T! I LEARNED MY LESSON IN ‘NAM! They used to yell at me [indecipherable Vietnamese yelling]”
Ryan: “It means…’Get on your knees and bark like a dog!'”
Hey, that actually really fit…

Then, as Ryan starts barking like a dog, Colin throttles him to get a hold of himself, saying “I TOLD you not to vacation in ‘Nam…”
Ryan: “Look, I like Skiing, it seemed like the place ta go…”
Colin: “NO!”

Colin: “Remember the…instructions from our flight instructor…CAUSE HE GAVE INSTRUCTIONS, *BEING* AN INSTRUCTOR…”
Ryan: “Yeah, number one, grab the wheel.”
And then, both Colin and Ryan start doing thigh exercises next to each other. It’s a fantastic visual.

Colin: “I can’t take the wheel…ever since I lost control of my limbs in that…chicken accident…”

Also, I applaud Ryan’s frantic, crazed acting in this, as he starts steering the plane downward, diverting into Vietnamese yelling and the barking noises as Colin tries to snap him out of it,

Colin: “I remember looking at you in those jockey shorts…and saying “the ice cream’s dripping down my chest.”
Ryan and Colin exchange a knowing look, and laugh it off as they head back to the seats.

A FANTASTIC Whose Line game, better than the last few we’ve seen, and reminding me of the ‘Why Are You Dressed Like a French Maid’ WL in the US run. Everything seemed to come together, and the Colin-Ryan duo were perfect for this.

Stand Sit Lie: Tony, Ryan and Colin are on the beach

Clive: “We go onto Stand, Sit, Lie Down…that’s not my chat-up line, that is a game for…”

The ‘see who can stop Colin from getting the table’ plot from last SSL is foiled immediately, as Colin takes it from the start and takes his sweet time holding onto it.

Eventually, Ryan makes his way to the floor, and Tony leans on the table so he can’t get back on it. He briefly stands, but then sits back on the table.

Then, once Tony’s lying on the table, Colin goes for a dip, getting Tony to sit up as Colin lies down, thumping across the stage.

Then, once Ryan hops up on the table.
Colin: “Man, that was refreshing, I’ll have another one…”
He gets back down, getting Ryan off the table.

Also, there’s a point in this game where everyone’s moving at the same speed. Ryan lays back down the second Colin stands up, and Tony lays down right when Ryan sits up. They’re all in sync, which is fantastic.

Eventually Ryan goes through too many positions in a 5-second span, so Tony, sitting on the table, pushes Ryan back so he can lie down. It’s a very funny move.

A fantastic round of this, with so much going on at once, and all three paying so much attention to each other.

Old Job New Job: Colin is a patient, and Ryan’s a doctor- Steve, another doctor, comes in, but he used to be a magician. 

Ryan, looking at Colin’s x-rays: “Hmm, looks like you’ve swallowed a lightbulb….oh, sorry…”
There’s universal applause from this one

Steve comes in and reverses the x-ray, as if a trick.
Ryan: “…thank you.”
Steve: “THANKYOU!”

Steve plays this as a mentalist trick, as he wrote down the diagnosis and put it in Colin’s pocket
Steve: “Now, if you could read it out IN A VERY CLEAR VOICE FOR EVERYONE TO HEAR.”
Colin: “…..I HAVE NO LUNGS!”

There’s an amusing moment where Ryan has something in his mouth. Steve goes on for a few seconds without noticing, FINALLY DOES, and pulls something out of Ryan’s mouth.
Steve: “Is this YOUR intestine, sir?”
Colin: “YES, IT IS!”

Hilarious Old Job New Job round, made so by the energy and volume that Steve was bringing, and how gung-ho everyone else onstage was.

Fixed Expressions: Patrons at a sports game
Steve: Happy
Tony: Cheeky
Colin: Puzzled
Ryan, the peanut vendor: Spooked

Tony displays his cheeky expression, which gets a nice reaction from the audience.
Steve, through his teeth: “IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING.”

After everyone does their initial expressions before the lead-in, they’re all shaking their heads at how ridiculous this game is, especially Ryan and Colin.

The actual game is pretty funny, and it’s one of the few where there’s consistent audience laughter all the way through, just from people reacting to the expressions.


An incredibly funny game, even if it was quick. It just had so many funny contrasts and visuals the whole way through.

World’s Worst: Person to Sit Next to During an Exam

Tony: [spits]
Ryan: [looks around, then unzips fly]
Ryan: [blows up something] “sit next to me…”

A very silly round all the way through

Clive: “Everyone here is neck and neck…except for me, as I haven’t got one, NOW…”

Props: Steve and Tony vs. Ryan and Colin

Screen Shot 2018-02-25 at 2.41.07 PM.pngSteve: “…I can’t breathe…”
Tony, either way: “PROBLEM BLACKHEADS?”

Relatively nice round, even if I didn’t write down a lot.

Sound Effects: Colin takes a shower- Ryan does sound effects

Colin: [opens shower curtain]
Ryan: “AIIIIGH!”
Colin: [embarrassedly closes shower curtain]
I, and the audience, die at this.

Even better, Colin jumps in the shower, gets the water ready…and THEN REMEMBERS to take off his clothes. So many little details in this game.

There’s a lot of fun stuff here- Colin putting a ton of shampoo in his hair, the shower spurting but coming back when Colin washes his butt, Colin cutting himself shaving and getting his hand stuck there.

Very, very funny round.

Party Quirks: Tony hosts
Colin: thinks he’s being chased by a swarm of bees
Steve: school bus driver
Ryan: olympic fast walker

Colin comes in and immediately hides in the toilet, which cracks Tony up.
Tony: “…this isn’t one of Jeffrey Archer’s parties, now…”

Tony gets caught in the middle of Steve yelling and Ryan running around, which isn’t nearly as bad as some recent quandaries, but close.

Tony manages to guess everyone, which is a nice change of pace.

Moving People: Colin goes through airport security and is stopped by Ryan

Clive tells the movers to set the performers for the start of the scene, and Colin’s ends up moving every single limb, which puzzles Colin.

We’ve finally hit some audience members that aren’t great at doing what they’re told, but are great at moving, as Ryan’s beginning to lose it.

Colin announces he’s gonna make a run for it, so the audience member starts frantically moving Colin’s legs as Ryan and Colin are arguing about moving forward. Ryan starts to move toward him as well. It’s amusing as all hell, and a great way to end the game.

Very silly, especially considering how excited the audience members were to move everybody.

Hoedown: Christmas

Steve: “I LOVE CHRISTMAS, I wish it was every day [SO FAR SO GOOD]
I love Christmas, do you HEAR WHAT I SAY
Sometimes I go up, sometimes I go down
Did you know there was a man called Coco the Clown?”
Steve puts up his arms in disbelief. He never plans his endings, does he?

And then we get to Colin. Oh boy, do we get to Colin. He isn’t remotely ready, but he soldiers on.
“I love my Christmas, I love it every year.
Because I shove food in my mouth, I grin from ear to ear.
My Cholesterol is high-”
Screen Shot 2018-02-25 at 3.23.27 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-02-25 at 3.23.34 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-02-25 at 3.23.45 PM.png

Meanwhile, Ryan just becomes so shifty-eyed
Screen Shot 2018-02-25 at 3.24.32 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-02-25 at 3.24.45 PM.png

Ryan’s verse is alright, but mostly accelerated by his nervousness at Colin’s consciousness. He does end with a great line about sleeping “with a reindeer with a red nose”.

Tony’s is his usual amount of smut, but the final pullback, to see everyone doing the refrain and the dead Colin, is priceless. I also adore the confused but impressed look Ryan gives Colin when they’re back at the seats.

Overall: Dare I say it, the first A+ show of the series. Every game was fantastic, every performer was funny, there were multiple classic games, everyone had a moment to shine, and there’s so much that I’d want to come back and watch. Also, when you think of this taping, you also think of the games that didn’t make the cut, like the Scenes from a Hat with the eyes in the wrong place, or my favorite Scene to Music of all time. But still, there was a lot to love here. As good as everyone was, this one does come down to Colin and Ryan, especially the former, who had a TON of funny, wacky moments, from Sound Effects, to Questions Only, to divebombing a Hoedown for the first time.

Show Winner: Colin
Best Performer: Colin, for making me laugh hardest tonight (especially in Hoedown)
Worst Performer: Tony, but only for having slightly less standout moments. He was still funny.
Best Game: Whose Line. I could have gone with Old Job New Job, Stand Sit Lie, Moving People or Hoedown, but Whose Line just had some amazing moments of improv throughout, and some great acting from Ryan.
Worst Game: Party Quirks, for being the lightest, especially in comparison to other Tony-led ones this year.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S06E05, or Why Did I Invite These People??

The consistently-strong Series 6 continues, featuring the two essential regulars of the series, Ryan and Tony, and the two more prominent semi-regulars, Steve Frost and Josie Lawrence.

Film and Theatre Styles v1: Josie and Ryan (gondola passenger and driver)

There’s a nice starting gag of Ryan ducking bridges while steering the gondola, which Steve gets a kick out of.
Josie: “Whoa, it’s amazing, your stick goes down with you…”

The Revengers Tragedy style is very well-done by Josie, up until the moment where she and Ryan stand up at the same time, bonking their heads simultaneously and sitting back down.

Josie overacts so much during the Melodrama style, and ends the segment right here:
Screen Shot 2018-02-24 at 4.21.35 PM.png
Clive: “…sp..[breaks]…Spy Movie.”
Ryan: “Find anything?”
Josie: “…so THAT’s where you put the microphone?”

A nice, quite silly scene with two actors that could really complement each other.

Film and Theatre Styles v2: Tony and Steve (late night passenger and taxi driver)

Audience member: “WELSH TV DRAMA!”
Clive: “And you’ve come all the way from Cardiff to say that…”
Tony: [slumps]

Soap Opera
Tony, Australian accent: “Have ya got a tinny of fresh aiih?”
Tony: “…am I???”

Clive: “Russ Meyer.”
Tony: “I’m sorry, my breasts won’t fit in your cab.”
Steve: “It’s alright, put them in the back.”

Tony, in Greek Tragedy style, starts doing an overdramatic monologue about his breasts, kneeling in front.
Steve: “You couldn’t have a look at the motor while you’re down there, could you?”

They end on Welsh TV Drama, which has Tony doing a high-pitched Welsh accent that has Steve cracking up by the end of the game.

On par with the last one, but I did like Steve’s rationalizations to the scene.

Helping Hands: Ryan and Josie (ft. Tony’s hands) are two women freshening up


This doesn’t work as well because Ryan’s more willing to put these things in his mouth, and Josie will say no to some of them, which happens in this scene.

Although there’s a great moment where Josie finds a tampon in this handbag, and throws in her mouth like a cigarette.
Ryan, taking it out: “THOSE ARE NOT CIGARETTES.”
Josie: “What are they?”
Ryan: “…I don’t know!”

Luckily, whenever Josie doesn’t want to do something, Tony will stick his hands in Josie’s face anyway, as she tries to carry on the scene without cracking up.

An amusing deviation with some nice moments, but not as good as the ones where Ryan has to suffer.

Hoedown: Going to the Cinema

Oddly paced show, as Hoedown and Helping Hands are earlier than usual, but this doesn’t stop Ryan and Tony from facially dreading the game as they head to the step.

Clive: “Is there any one of life’s great pleasures that any of you would like to name?”
Audience member: “GOING TO THE TOILET.”
Clive: “…you sad, sad man.”

Steve’s problem with Hoedowns is he’ll go for a rhyme that has nothing to do with the previous word, which is why he ends his Hoedown with “but that’s alright with me, I’ve only got one ball.”

Ryan’s verse is great- he opens by saying he’s the person everyone wants to kill, “because I’m the guy that comes in, and sits in front of you.”
And at 6’6, of course he is.

Tony: “I saw a film the other day, it wasn’t very good.
It starred something that looked like a plank of wood.
I looked a little bit closer, I must have been going insane
It wasn’t a plank of wood at all, It was Michael Caine!”

Props: Tony and Josie vs. Steve and Ryan

There’s some very silly work all around tonight, with an ongoing gag about a codpiece, some very raunchy stuff from Tony (“…I GIVE YOU MANY BABIES.”), and Josie flat out yelling “sod it!” right before the camera cuts to her.

Film Dub: Josie tells Tony it’s his baby

The initial reveal, that the clip is from claymation series Camberwick Green, gets a big laugh out the audience, as does Tony’s opening line, in a Northern accent.
Tony: “Oh, I love living near Sellafield, it’s given me such interesting features.”

Tony, as Josie presents the baby: “I put that bun in YOUR oven?”
Josie: “Yes, it’s yours, and you can keep it, I don’ wannit…”
Tony: “…..what a dreadful smell of poo, is it you?”

Tony accuses Josie of being a whore
Josie: “At least I don’t use my mouth!”
Tony, breaking: “THAT’S CAUSE YOU DON’T GOT ONE! And if ya did, every[…]one would be usin’ it…”
Tony: “No, I am not paying maintenance to you, you fat cow!”

Tony: “Look, me bread’s all gone flat now, and it’s all thanks to you-OOOoooOOOOOHHH…”
Josie: “Yeah, your dough’s always drooping…”

A magical, absolutely hysterical Film Dub, made even funnier by the fact that the dialogue contrasts to the sunny, fun claymation footage.

Old Job New Job: Josie’s a cook, and Ryan’s chief waiter. Steve, a fellow cook, used to be a builder.

Steve comes bounding in, and…
Screen Shot 2018-02-24 at 4.52.44 PM.png
Josie, at this point, is trying so hard not to laugh.

This is a shorter scene, but it’s carried by Steve whistling for tea breaks and other builders. Not one of the better OJNJs for Steve, but he still makes it good.

Clive: “I think Steve wins that game, for having the funniest crack of the night.”

Bartender: Josie
Ryan: in love with his teddy bear
Tony: angry about his middle name

Ryan’s song is very wholesome, very cute…until he ends on “it’s hard to turn down that little furry thing between my legs.”
Josie gives the audience a few bars to recover

Josie responds with a cute response verse, ending on “don’t keep on doing it, just use your neighbor’s pet.”
Clive, as Ryan has walked back: “…does the expression ‘teddy bear’ mean something different in America?”

Clive: “Anyway, Tony is angry about something…”
Josie: “oh, this’ll be a clean one…”

Clive: “Angry about his middle name. That’s a good suggestion for this game.”
Tony: “I am, actually. It’s ‘Declan’.”

Tony actually goes with his parents giving him ‘Patricia’ as a middle name, and adding, in the verse, “when I say it, it actually makes my testicles explode…”

Josie ends hers my going: “Come on Patricia, go ahead and take my flattery
It’s much better than being called Tony Slattery…”
Tony: [spits on table]

Solid Bartender game in both rounds. Ryan gets the edge for completely subverting expectations though.

Party Quirks: Tony hosts
Josie: a penis
Steve: Goalkeeper
Ryan: a baby learning to walk

I love Josie’s double-take upon reading hers.

The ENTIRE AUDIENCE goes wild when Josie hops in, and Tony cracks a bit. Josie’s facial expression is also killing me.

Josie: “Have you got anything to, you know, button me up a bit?”
Tony: “Are you princess Margaret?”
Josie: [breaks]

Ryan, from the moment he stumbles in, has the physicality down completely, as well as the bewildered facial expression. Then Josie starts ramming into him.

Then, when Ryan starts to hobble around the stage, Tony absolutely loses it. Just the sight of Ryan Stiles, all 6’6 of him, hobbling around like an infant is absolutely magical.
Tony, recovering: “…Why did I invite these people???”

Right as Tony’s about to say something about Ryan, he falls down, completely subverting the guess.
Tony: “No, you’re a-”
Ryan: [gets back up]
Tony: [breaks]

Tony, without an idea what to do: “…..ANYWAY, LET’S ALL DANCE!”
Josie: “I do like a bit of head-banging…”

Josie, desperately trying to get Tony to guess: “I LIVE IN YOUR PANTS…though my friend who lives with you is slightly smaller.”
Tony, FINALLY getting it: “OH, YOU’RE A PENIS!”
Once she leaves, Tony cracks up at that quirk, completely facepalming.

He then looks back at Ryan, still bounding around the room, and he has absolutely no idea.
Clive, trying to end the game: “AND RYAN, WHAT’S HE?”
Tony: “Uh…are you Gerald Ford?”

Once Clive finally tells Tony what Ryan is, he lets out a big ‘OHHHH….’

Overall: Fifth insanely great show in a row on the series. There were moments where it lagged slightly, but the entire last half of the show, with Film Dub, Bartender and Party Quirks, made this one pretty incredible. Ryan, for the second show in a row, stuck to more ensemble-driven pieces, while people like Josie and Steve rocked some showcase games throughout the night. Nobody did a truly terrible job tonight, because even Ryan and Tony, who didn’t excel as much, still had games like Party Quirks and Film Dub where they were hysterical. Still, Josie Lawrence does get the edge for being the funnier part of some of the most impressive games of the night.

Show Winners: Josie and Ryan
Best Performer: Josie Lawrence, for a smashing success all around, and with some energetic, fun musical choices throughout the night.
Worst Performer: Ryan Stiles, but only in comparison to the other three, who had more showcase moments throughout the night.
Best Game: Party Quirks, for being absolutely hysterical the entire way through.
Worst Game: Props, for being a little lighter than everything else tonight.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S06E04, or WHO ORDERED PUMPKIN??

Right. Now to pretend like I haven’t seen this one a million times.

A couple reasons why this episode is so great- there’s a panel of Mike McShane, Greg Proops, Ryan Stiles and Tony Slattery, and all four are gonna be rearing to go tonight. Secondly, there are some series-high games, and an energy that couldn’t be stopped. Thirdly…

Screen Shot 2018-02-21 at 2.40.19 PM.png

Look at it. LOOK AT IT. This is the single most jarring fashion choice in Whose Line history, so soak it in.

Superheroes: An asteroid full of jam is headed for Earth
Greg: Soap Opera Man
Ryan: Itchy Man
Tony: Bad Impressions Man
Mike: Nose Lick Boy

Clive, as usual, immediately asks for a crisis that’s gonna be solved.
Someone DIRECTLY BEHIND CLIVE: “a jam shortage.”
Clive: “A jam shortage.”
Screen Shot 2018-02-21 at 2.46.45 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-02-21 at 2.46.52 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-02-21 at 2.47.03 PM.png
Clive: “I didn’t hear that one…”
Mike, crossing forward, at which point his mic volume gets turned up: “How are you receiving suggestions, from BRITISH TELECOM?”

Clive, trying to move on: “What was that one, then?”
Greg, still stuck: “THERE’S *GOLD* COMING FROM OVER HERE.”
Greg: “And you’re getting [british accent] THEH’S A JAAAAHM SHOORHTIGE!”
[For some reason, that British accent killed me more this time than it ever had]

Clive, trying to bring it back: “Okay, could all the jam shortage people-”
Greg, easing out of it: “No, no, it’s fine-”
Greg: “No, I don’t know him…”
Audience member: “An asteroid’s about to crash into the planet earth.”
Clive, compromising: “There’s an asteroid full of jam about to crash into the planet earth…”

Greg does his Soap Opera man bit, having an intense, romantic conversation…with himself. Mike, who’s in the shot, cracks at this one.

Even better, when Greg goes for the world crisis monitor, Mike gives a whirling, ringing noise to finally give the WCM its fanfare.

Greg: “Oh my god, there’s an asteroid full of jam heading for earth….NIXON’S COME BACK FROM THE DEAD- no time for that now…”

Greg explains to Ryan, as Itchy Man, the crisis
Ryan: “OH MY GOD, let’s have a toast!”

Tony, entering: “I came as quickly as I could, I was waxing Richard Nixon’s bikini line…”

Tony, as Bad Impressions, brings back Shirley Bassey and Danny “I’ve been in the business FORTY YEARS” LaRue. Greg, of course, goes “WHO ARE YOU DOING???”

Tony, upon naming Mike ‘Nose Lick Boy’, should have known what was about to happen: Mike comes bounding in, and licks Tony’s nose first, then Ryan’s…then the camera’s?
Screen Shot 2018-02-21 at 2.57.53 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-02-21 at 2.58.03 PM.png

Ryan, with his cue to depart, not knowing what joke to pull: “Okay, I’ve gotta go….do something….”

Clive: “Double points for Greg for being so sporting and enthusiastic about the suggestions.”

A landmark, hysterical game, bringing in running gags, and giving really funny stuff to every competitor. Greg was edged out for a few Soap Opera man lines, but was still a great proctor.

Song Titles: Mike, Greg and Ryan in an airport

Ryan, appearing: “D’you know the way to San Jose?”

Greg, getting some bonus points from me: “Shine on, you Crazy Diamond.”
Ryan: “Like a Virgin.”

The game culminates in Greg having to choose between Ryan and Mike, with Ryan winning by ending with “I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts…”

Solid game, though, as usual, kinda thin.

Film Dub: Ryan’s picking up the frozen remains of his wife, while Greg helps sort them.

Clive, after the audience is appalled as the scene description: “HEYYY, IT’S A HAPPY SHOW…”
Greg, as Soap Opera man again, to the camera: “Seems unlikely, and yet here we go.”

Greg reveals that a different part of the wife’s body is in each glass.
Greg: “I drank out of one of them, so I have to remember which one it was…”

Ryan’s character goes to grab a bottle
Greg: “Nono, don’t touch that one. That’s strawberry, that’s for later when we have pudding.”

Greg, grabbing a bottle: “Here, try some of these…it’s my uncle Louie.”

Ryan: “You have a fine place here. There’s a fine little door with a knob.”
Greg’s character drops the glass.
Ryan: “Hey, what was that?”
Greg: “You said the word…knob…”

Greg, in front of the spill: “I can’t tell if this is my uncle Louie or some other delicious concoction.”
Ryan, tasting some: “…mmmm, that’s Louie alright…”

A really fun game of Film Dub, with some great lines all around, but mostly from Greg, who had the right morbid sense of humor for it.

Alphabet: Tony tries to help Mike, a scientist slowly turning into a fly. Beginning with W.

Mike, starting off: “WAIT, WAIT WAIT…Don’t clean that dog bin, I wanna have some lunch.”

A surprisingly fun, fluid scene, that both actors give their all too, and has a ton of really funny moments. It barely feels like a game of Alphabet.

Clive: “500 points to Mike, and it would have been 500 to Tony if he hadn’t left out V at the very end…”
Screen Shot 2018-02-21 at 3.14.36 PM.png

Song Styles: Mike sings a disco song about a train set

Mike’s song is simple, but really fun, and it definitely gets the audience on his side rather quickly, as they’re clapping along.

Also, note that when they cut to the audience and people singing along to the refrain, and they even sneak a shot of Clive singing along in there:
Screen Shot 2018-02-21 at 3.18.11 PM.png

Film Trailer: He Invaded My Chip Shop. Greg narrates, Tony, Ryan and Mike act it out

A new game, one that would recur over the next 2 series, and lead to some very funny moments.

Almost immediately, Greg: “….FROM THE MAKERS OF ‘HE STOLE MY DONER KABAB, IT’S….”

Greg, revising his narration because he remembers that Mike and Ryan are already onstage and that only leaves one person to come in: “BUT THEN THE NIGHT CAME, WHEN A T…SMALL DARK STRANGER ENTERED THE CHIP SHOP AND CHANGED THEIR LIVES FOREVER.”
Tony, getting on his knees: “HELLO.”

Mike, without options, cradles Tony
Ryan, Mike and Tony run around stage
Mike, Ryan and Tony spit out their chips.

Pretty fun game, with Greg doing some more really nice proctoring, and Tony doing some really funny little things.

Clive: “And, into a shock lead goes Michael Jackson, who isn’t even here.”

Helping Hands: Tony is on a boy scout camping trip with Scoutmaster Ryan

Tony picks up a guitar, and asks if Ryan can show him some tunes. Greg grabs the guitar, and nearly smacks Ryan in the head with it. He cracks, keeping the character moving, though.

Ryan: “I’ll play a small little song for you.”
Greg starts patting the guitar, which he’s gotten backwards.
Ryan: “…The other way, of course.”

Ryan grabs a bottle of seltzer, which explodes even before he opens it.

As Ryan puts together a beans/weiner concoction, Tony feeds Ryan some beans out of his hands.

A pretty fun Helping Hands, though not to the caliber of some of the other ones.

Party Quirks: Tony hosts
Greg: giraffe
Ryan: on a rollercoaster
Mike: Columbian drug baron

Clive: “Now, is the party in full swing., Tony?”
Tony, motioning around: “Obviously…”
Clive: “No, I know, I’ve been to some of your parties…”
Tony, smirking: “…for the last bloody time, mate…”

Ryan, of course, nails his physicality, going all around, screaming, and doing loops.
Tony: “…are you Lionel Blair?”

There’s an insanely funny visual of Mike, doing a Tony Montana impression, talking to Tony while an inconsequential Ryan flies by the camera.

Pretty nice Party Quirks round, thankfully working in subtle ways after last episode’s…less-than-subtle turn of it.

Bartender: Mike
Ryan: Trying to forget his wardrobe
Tony: in love with an inflatable pig

Clive: “Ryan’s drinking to forget something, what is it?”
Audience member: “TONY SLATTERY!”
Clive: “He’s drinking to forget Tony Slattery? AN UNLIKELY proposition…”

Of course, someone from behind Clive, like in Superheroes, comes in with the real suggestion, which Clive even says “that’s really cruel. Cruel but accurate, I feel. You’re drinking to forget your wardrobe.”
Ryan: [gets up and leaves]
Mike: “Aw, maaaan…”
Clive: “IT WASN’T ME! It wasn’t me, it was the beautiful girl behind me.”
Mike, to Clive, with the immortal line: “…Don’t mess with the neon love chicken, alright?”
The audience loses it at this.
Greg, from the audience:”WHO ORDERED PUMPKIN???”
Clive, as the music kicks in: “…it’s the Stiles tartan…wish I hadn’t have said that.”

Ryan has a nice, nervous verse, saying “people make fun of me, because I wear fashions from Sunkist.”

Mike has some really clever lines, even Ryan’s impressed by, like “with a shirt like that, you must be getting your vitamin C”, or “dip your shirt in this vodka and have a screwdriver…”

Mike, as Tony comes up to the bar set, possibly remembering the last Bartender game he did with Tony: “…I’m sorry, WE’RE CLOSED.”

[There is an underrated shot of Tony taking the alcohol bottle from the bar table, opening it and smelling it…and getting a nice amount of blowback once he realizes it’s real alcohol. They cut before he truly reacts to it, though]

Clive, asking for something Tony’s in love with.
Half the audience: “HIMSELF!”
Clive, almost angry: “EVERYBODY ALWAYS SAYS HIMSELF! EVERY TIME! Surely he must love something else…”
Mike, to Tony: “I owe ya 5 bucks…”

As Clive gets the ‘inflatable pig’ suggestion, someone else shouts out ‘THE BARMAN’, which Tony thinks he’s gonna get again until Clive gives him the real suggestion, which he thinks is the most preposterous thing he’s ever heard.

Clive, as the suggestion came from behind him, mutters “THESE GIRLS ALL *KNOW* YOU GUYS!”

Tony’s still facepalming at what he has to sing about.
Clive, to the audience member: “Have you been out socially with Tony?”

Tony’s first line is: “I’ve got a problem I’d like to report, when I see Porky Pig, my pants distort.”
He has another one, which is ‘I see that pig, and I spill my seed.” Ryan and Greg absolutely lose it at this one.

Mike has a pretty nice response verse, ending in “doing too much pork raises cholesterol.”

Overall: At a glance, this episode comes down to its bookends- an uproarious round of Superheroes, and a series-classic round of Bartender. Yet in between, there are so many instances of four landmark improvisers doing some of their best work. Even games like Alphabet, Film Dub and Film Trailer work really well because everybody here is really good. Sadly, a lot of one-note games in the middle keep this from being a 10/10 show, but this is still a fantastic episode, one that proved the show didn’t always have to rely on Ryan Stiles, as he took a less showy approach to the show, letting the California duo of Greg and Mike to win the day.

Show Winner: Tony
Best Performer: Greg Proops, for taking several proctoring roles, as well as working well as an ensemble player and hitting back at Clive throughout the night.
Worst Performer: Ryan Stiles, with slightly less funny moments than Tony Slattery.
Best Game: Bartender. I almost went with Superheroes, but Bartender feels in every moment like it’s live, and Mike is not only doing good work in song, but interacting with the performers and Clive during the interims. It’s already a show-classic, but it’s also just a really well-done game.
Worst Game: Song Titles, by default.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S06E03, or Hey, Tony, it’s only a bit of fun..

The third of three Colin-Ryan-Steve-Tony episodes this series, and the third of the five of them across the entire run. Dan Patterson and co kept using this arrangement because, well, it worked. All four are funny, especially together.

Questions Only: In an Army Recruitment Office

Steve: “Is this the Army Recruitment Office?”

Tony’s using this ridiculous, over-the-top characterization for this, which Clive eventually buzzes him out for. “I’m sorry, it’s just too high-pitched.”

Colin: “Can you climb that rope?”
Ryan: “D’you think that’s TOO HIGH FOR MEEE??”
Colin: “…is Cilla Black?”
Ryan: “…is Barry White?”

Ryan: “Can I come…RIGHT BEHIND YOU?”
Colin: “D’you think this is the Navy?”

Quick game, but excelled mostly by the Colin-Ryan quickfire round.

Film and Theatre Styles: Ryan and Colin (parachute jumper and instructor)

Right when they get the Dirty Dancing style, they start silly-like dancing up against each other.
Then, as Ryan goes on, Colin waves the sides of his hair around. Clive catches this and cracks up.
Colin: “My hair! Blowing in the wind!”
Clive: “I remember..”

Ryan: “The sky…the sky beyond the door is BLUUUE…”
Colin: “Aye, it is blue.”
Ryan, with absolutely no idea where to take the scene, smirks while coming upstage.
Clive, buzzing: “That’s the worst Shakespeare I’ve ever heard.”
Ryan, playfully, does a brief ‘kiss my ass’ motion, though he knows Clive’s right.

Ryan, for Japanese Noh Theatre, does a full, physical motion of parachuting with a Japanese accent.
Colin, stealing an old Tony joke under the applause: “…No…”

Ghost film
Ryan: “Alright, I’m going to go, but…first, I’m gonna make a clay pot…”
Clive buzzes before Colin can even come over there, though he does make it over with some motions.

Very silly ending, but still a great F&TS scene, with enough great work from both performers to keep it going.

Clive: “Fifteen points there, with a contract for the Royal Shakespeare company to you…”
Ryan, mockingly: “The skyyyy is BLUUUUEE…”

Film Dub: Tony and Steve are angry about the state of the flat

Steve spends the first 30 seconds of the scene absolutely reaming out Tony
Tony: “Look, I just dropped a couple of tabs and I’m not sure where I am…”

Steve: “Look, my names on all the eggs in the fridge, every last one of them-”
Tony, finally agreeing to take the scene somewhere: “Look, we’ve been lovers for ten years now…don’t you think I love you even though I’m completely out of my head?”
Steve, taking a pause with the character: “……YES!”

Steve, as Tony gets up: “Are those your real legs, or somebody else’s?”
Tony: “…OH, THEY’RE *MINE!*”

Another great Film Dub scene, though not as good as the last one Steve and Tony did.

Song Titles: Steve, Ryan and Colin are in a garden center

Steve: “…all right now…”

Steve: “GET BACK!”
Ryan: “That’s the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it!”
Steve: “REMEMBER, you’re a womble!”

And then, restating the classic from last time:
Colin: “Where have all the flowers gone?”
Steve AND Ryan: “Oklahoma…”

Better than the last few, but still would improve once it was given the Questions Only treatment

Stand Sit Lie: Ryan, Colin and Tony in a POW Camp escape committee meeting

Ryan, first line of the game: “Annnnd that’s why the French don’t wash…”
This gets SEVERAL seconds of applause

Tony and Ryan treat this as a spectator sport of Don’t Let Colin Get The Table. Every time The table opens up, Colin needs to be blocked. One point, Colin’s about to lie down on it but Ryan, at the last second, blocks him by laying down upside down.

Screen Shot 2018-02-18 at 1.50.57 PM.png

Then, at the last second, Colin SNEAKS ONTO THE TABLE FINALLY, when Ryan and Tony are distracted. The audience even applauds this.

Then, as Colin stands up and Ryan sits on the edge of the table, Tony has to knock over one of the stools in order to get onto the table.

Then, after a moment where Tony leaps onto the table in order to satisfy the title, Colin faints, and lies on the floor, while Ryan and Tony have to help.

Phenomenal game, with so much going on, and so many really funny moments.

Sound Effects: Colin is a cook at a fish restaurant, Ryan provides Sound Effects

Relatively solid game of SFX, with the highlights being Colin flipping a fish and it not landing, and then him scraping it off the ceiling, pouring some sauce on a fish, drinking from the bottle then spitting it onto the grill, then Ryan, in the midst of a fire, doing ambulance noises as the buzzer went off.

Props: Ryan and Colin vs. Tony and Steve

Screen Shot 2018-02-18 at 3.03.33 PM.png

Ryan: “You distract Gulliver, and I’ll slap on the cuffs…”

Tony, pulling the rubber prop up his hand: “Your first time through customs, eh?”

Solid round of props, with silly stuff coming from all directions.

Moving People: Ryan is being fitted for a suit by Colin

The first game to actually use audience members onstage, and the debut of an improv staple.

Screen Shot 2018-02-18 at 3.06.41 PM.png

Ryan: “I think these pants might be a little too large.”
Colin: “Are they? I wish I could help, but, uh, my arm’s broken.”

This also leads to the ‘wait until I do this motion, HERE I AM ABOUT TO DO THIS MOTION, AUDIENCE MEMBER’ sort of thing, where Colin says he’s going to point to his tie, and keeps saying this until the audience member gets the point.
Ryan: “I can see it right from here.”
Colin: “Okay, then I won’t point.”

Ryan, staring directly at Colin’s chest: “Tell me something. You’re not a hispanic man, are you?”
Colin: “Why don’t you look into my eyes.”
Ryan, as the audience member FINALLY moves his neck up: “Because I can’t-OH MY GOD.”

Colin, looking right down at Ryan’s crotch: “This is a very fine material.”
Ryan: “Thank you, it’s suede.”
Colin, his mind elsewhere: “It certainly is…”
Ryan, as nobody’s moving them: “…I COULD STAY LIKE THIS ALL DAY!”

Great game, as Ryan and Colin were already pros at prompting an audience, even if these particular members weren’t as receptive.

Party Quirks: Tony hosts
Steve: Mentions a body part in every sentence
Colin: experiencing too much gravity
Ryan: jockey in a race

Annnnnnd here we go…Tony is gonna have one hell of a time tonight…

Colin nails the physicality of the quirk immediately, landing on the floor within 5 seconds.

Then, as Ryan starts running around on the horse, the nervous laughter comes in from Tony. He’s already a bit overwhelmed, because he couldn’t guess people as they came in, and now all three are interacting, giving him some major anxiety.

Steve keeps trying to help him as Tony keeps getting wrong.
Steve: ‘You’re making a right tit of yourself…”

Tony guesses Ryan, but Steve asks which leg of the party we’re on.
Tony: “Ohhhhhhh…WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?”

Colin, who’s been silent for sometime, pounding across the stage: “WHERE’S YOUR BATHROOM!”
Tony breaks once again.

Tony guesses wrong again, and Clive buzzes in, exclaiming “IT’S THE WORST GAME OF PARTY QUIRKS EVER!!!”

Clive has to explain both the quirks to Tony, and after he explains Steve’s, which may have been the trickiest quirk anyone’s ever had to guess, Tony, immortally, yells “….OH, WELL FUCK OFF!
The entire place comes crashing down. Everyone’s in hysterics, including Clive.

Tony gets back to the seat, shaking his head, still a bit shaken. Ryan’s still laughing.
Clive: ‘Hey, Tony…it’s only a bit of fun!…Don’t take it seriously, it’s only your living…”

Clive: “Let’s go on…having robbed Tony of all his points he’d ever won in the game…for swearing on air…”
Tony’s still going over to Colin and going “What WERE you?”

Not a bad Party Quirks scene, but obviously a classic because of Tony’s exclamation, and of the way everyone reacted to it.

Helping Hands: Tony’s attending a barbecue held by Ryan (ft. Colin’s hands)

Tony asks for a lager right off the bat, so Ryan, ever the smartass, has Colin flail it around for a while until it’s all shaken.

Tony: “Ryan…I’ll have a sausage.”
Ryan: “Okay, then I’ll have a lager myself.”
The can spurts slightly, but enough to hit Ryan in the face a little.

After some cracker discourse, Ryan starts doing impressions with pickles, which is a very Ryan Stiles sort of set-up.

Ryan, realizing the jar’s on tight: “could you get this open for me?”
Tony, still emotionally fried, but still wanting to see Ryan suffer: “…no.”

Tony does eventually open the jar, as Ryan’s growing more and more manic, and Tony eventually spills the pickle juice all over the table.

Ryan, finally with the pickle: “My impression of…the channel.”
[spits out pickle]

A step up from last Helping Hands, solely because Tony, even after a catastrophic Party Quirks, was so great at screwing with Ryan in this game, as well as the pickle thing not going as well as planned.

Hoedown: Vasectomies 

Steve, still sucking at Hoedowns: “I went to the doctor, and he said to me…
Gonna cut your balls off, and put em in a jar
At least this one landed mostly on the ground

Colin, going from the firefighting suggestion: “I fight fires in Germany, they really are the worst. I will now sing German, in my next verse.”
And, true to his word, Colin sings about an exploding mansion and rescue by trampoline, all in German. Clive loses it at this.

Ryan: “Everybody thinks that it’s a job that really stinks, but I save up all the spare parts and I make up cuff-links.”

Tony’s is dirty, but surprisingly the weakest of the four, despite an ending line about ‘shooting blanks’.

Overall: Third really solid show in a row, despite Tony having a mental breakdown in Party Quirks, and a bit of a boilerplate SFX game. Everything tonight was really nice, from physical games like Stand Sit Lie, to new games like Moving People, to games that have usually sucked this series like Hoedown and Film Dub. It was very much a Ryan and Colin show, as Steve was a bit underedited, and Tony was beginning to wane, though he did give some really good material throughout the night. Heading into a landmark, series-defining show, this one certainly wasn’t bad.

Show Winners: Ryan and Colin
Best Performer: Ryan, for giving Grade A material in his games, though Colin did come very close
Worst Performer: Steve Frost, who we didn’t see a ton of throughout the night, and got less showcases than a startled-but-still-funny Tony Slattery
Best Game: Stand Sit Lie over Moving People, for being ridiculously funny all the way through, and for Ryan and Tony’s plot to keep Colin away from the table.
Worst Game: Sound Effects.


Ladies and gentlemen, this is the only episode of this series that does not feature Tony Slattery. Considering who they DID book, it’s not a terribly big loss: Mike McShane, Josie Lawrence and Greg Proops all make their first appearances of the series, next to basically-regular-at-this-point Ryan Stiles.

Film and Theatre Styles v1: Ryan and Josie (racehorse owner and trainer)

Some guy in the audience shouts out “THREE NUNS AND A BABY!”
Ryan and Josie:
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Clive: “…did you say ‘Three Nuns and a Baby’? You’re a sick man…and it’s a sunday as well. [beat, remembers when this goes out]…and it’s a Friday as well. I don’t…”

Josie: “Jake, why isn’t this horse growing? I paid quite a lot of money for this horse, and I’d like to get her on the track as soon as possible.”
Ryan, absolutely serious: “I know…perhaps I should feed her.”

Chinese Horror:
Screen Shot 2018-02-17 at 11.58.25 AM.png

Ryan says things in a goofy Japanese voice in this style, but the biggest laugh is from Josie, hair still like this, going “…WHA?”
Even Ryan cracks at that, as the buzzer goes off. “WHA INDEED.”

There’s a great moment where, as the horse grows at ‘an inCREDIBLE RATE’, Ryan keeps following the horse’s growth upward, while Josie points to where the horse’s snout was…sees where Ryan’s looking, then revises her point, smiling.

Josie, clinging directly behind Ryan: “…oh, alright then…”

It ends in a very silly Chase Movie sequence, but by the end, it’s been a very funny, very great scene, as usual with these Josie-Ryan pairings.

Clive: “With 17 points each there, this puts you comfortably ahead of the guy who suggested ‘three nuns and a baby’.”

Film and Theatre Styles v2: Greg and Mike (fixing a motorbike)

After 1 minute of Greg and Mike doing biker vernacular, Clive buzzes in
Clive: “Let’s now do it in English.”
Greg, sarcastically turning to Clive: “Where’s that famous pluck?”
Clive: “Is that rhyming slang?”

Starsky and Hutch
Mike: “Hutch, your wife wants to talk to you” [holds up bike]
Greg grabs the bike, thinking it’s the phone, then Mike has to re-state himself.

Greg: “COVER ME!”
Screen Shot 2018-02-17 at 12.13.46 PM.png

Mike holds this for a few seconds, and Greg and Mike start whispering.
Clive: “DON’T YOU…”
Screen Shot 2018-02-17 at 12.14.54 PM.png
Clive: “I don’t know what you’re doing over there, but…stoppit…and do…biblical epic”
Mike, stepping back with the jacket: “YOU ARE HEALED!”

Mike announces, in Disaster Movie, that the bike is starting to tick.
Greg: “Quick, I’ll hide behind you…”

Note that Mike, in mentioning any hasbeen actor from the 70s who Greg can call, namedrops O.J. Simpson. By the time this episode aired, O.J. would be more relevant than Mike would ever have dreamed.

Another nice scene, though not as good as Josie and Ryan’s.

Old Job New Job: Greg and Josie’s car has broken down. Ryan, the AA man, used to be an astronaut

Clive: “Ryan is an AA man, over here, what you call-”
Ryan: “an alcoholic…”
Clive: “Yes, an ex-alcoholic..”

Ryan’s first move is to pop the hood, plant an American flag and wave to the camera.

Ryan then checks the oil, only for it to spurt up in zero-g, and Ryan to try and salvage it.

Greg, who’s been very helpful to the setup, throws a wrench at Ryan, which hits him in slo-mo, prompting him to crack a bit. You can tell he didn’t really know what to do with the scene.

Greg, still helping: “QUICK, GRAB HIS CORD!”
Ryan: “…that’s not my cord…”

Solid enough scene, though Ryan seemed like he didn’t really know what to do with the scene description.

Funeral: Frederick the trampoliner

A new game that would appear sporadically on this and the US version.

Clive gets the hobby, trampolining, internally wonders if he wants to do the ‘Greg, do you have that in America’ joke, gets to ‘d’you have’, and then aborts it, leading to
Clive, looking at Greg: “D’you have…yeah.”
Greg, who knows exactly what he was trying to do: “Yes, we have it in America…..YES, MISTER PATRONIZING BARRISTER, WE HAVE IT IN AMERICA….”

Clive: “Okay, now you take over from this and introduce everybody-”

Greg: “After this, we’re going to have a TWISTER PARTY, MARDI-GRAS THROWDOWN…[back to serious] BUT FIRST…”

Ryan: “Yes, I knew Frederick for many years, I…met him at a club when he was a bouncer…I think the…[pauses for audience laugher] I think the one mistake that he made was renting that basement suite…”

Then, after a few more lines, Ryan, quietly, goes to Greg “…is it time for Twister?”

Josie, mourning: “…and he use to have this way of lying on-”
Greg, knowing exactly where she’s going to go: “THANK YOU, TANISHA…”
Ryan: “I’d like to hear a little bit more of that..”
Greg: “No, that’s…”
Mike: “After the Twister!”

Greg, saying more than he could have realized: “Randall, you knew Frederick better than anyone, you were his twin.”
Ryan, realizing where Greg went with how Frederick died, breaks a bit.

After Mike says his piece about Frederick being on the top bunk in their old bunk bead.
Greg: “Yes, and he left you out of the will, now…”
Ryan, to Josie: “…and the tutu was all…”
Greg: “NOW…”

The centerpiece of the game is all four singing together, in one voice, a hymn for the deceased, which is usually haphazard, and usually just one guy leading and the other four following. Here, you can tell Ryan’s leading. It’s a simple enough one, no ‘NOW I SLEEP WITH HIS WIFE’, but it ends the incredibly funny game in a graceful way.

Stand Sit Lie: Greg is a patient, Ryan’s the doctor, Josie’s visiting.

A variant on Stand Sit Bend, now featuring a table to lie down on.

Beginning of the send-up, Greg and Ryan argue about who’s gonna sit down. Greg finally agrees to get the table.

Ryan, already putting the game at a high-concept level: “I don’t think you have anything to worry about, looks like 3 nines…”

I love that Ryan and Josie are having a conversation, switching positions while Greg’s just roaming around possessed, and they don’t seem to notice him.

Josie faints, and Ryan tries to help her up.
Josie, cracking: “OW, YOU STOOD ON MY HAIR…”

Ryan sits down on the table, pontificating, while Greg and Josie realize someone needs to lie down…so they lie down on each other.

Ryan: “Maybe it’s not…my god, it’s three sixes, I WAS WRONG!”

A very, very silly scene, but still incredibly funny. The table element makes it a ton harder for them to fluidly change positions, and it leads to very funny moments.

Props: Greg and Ryan vs. Mike and Josie

Screen Shot 2018-02-17 at 12.40.33 PM.pngJosie: “…Hello, I’m Roger Moore!”
That’s a very clever reference…

Ryan, drops prop from air: “…Gulliver’s sharpening his pencils again…”
Greg, as the buzz goes, to Ryan: “Well done…”

Screen Shot 2018-02-17 at 12.41.53 PM.pngMike: “Hello, welcome to Clive’s dream.”

Josie, as she’s doing a Coco Chanel joke, accidentally hits herself in the face with the prop, which is a great way to end the scene.

Great round of props. Ryan and Greg’s felt very similar to US-era suggestions, while Mike and Josie’s were more idea-based and similar to UK-era suggestions.

Duet: Josie and Mike sing a love song about a cat litter tray

Mike, top of the song: “…I wanted to show you something…”
Josie: “What?”
Mike: “Come into the hallway…look what she did!”
Josie: “It’s beautiful…”

Mike says that Josie and he are great because they love everything about cats, then goes into
[Greg, in the background, is shaking his head]

Mike: “Whoever thought that feline defecation could such a swell and singular sensation.”
Josie, with the line of the century: “Whoever thought that our love would glitter, just standing her looking at shit and cat litter.”
[The whole audience is gone for days at that one]

Not only is this a beautiful song, one of their best duets in years…but goddammit, this is one of the funniest singing games we’ve had in a while, just on every letter, in terms of lyrics and earnesty. Probably one of the best Song Styles/Duet games out there.

Mike, as he sits down, motions to Josie for the audience’s delight. Josie, in return, looks like she’s gonna motion to Mike but just strokes Ryan’s hair.

Clive: “I think that’s the best song about cat litter I’ve ever heard.”

Helping Hands: Josie orders ice cream from Ryan (ft. Greg’s hands)

Clive, explaining the scene: “You’ve come to this strange, double-backed creature…to get some ice cream…
Screen Shot 2018-02-17 at 1.32.20 PM.png
Clive: “…apparently from someone who’s been in the American Air Force, but…”

There’s 15 seconds where Ryan has to grab a cone, but Greg keeps grabbing random things that are not a cone. Ryan comes close to ‘no, you idiot’ levels, but stays solvent.

This is a little less put-together than other Helping Handses, because absolutely nothing seems to go right in terms of where Greg is aiming. Ryan drops the ice cream cone in order to make a whipped cream gag work, and then abandons a banana before he has to use it. There’s definitely some dissonance between Ryan and Greg here.

Ends before it gets going, and doesn’t have a ton of the best Helping Hands stuff, but Ryan and his accent are good enough.

Party Quirks: Greg hosts
Josie: olympic ice skater (TOPICAL AS OF FEBRUARY 2018!)
Mike: thinks he’s a car
Ryan: going down the plughole

Greg, starting the party: “Hmm…Clive Anderson spoken word on CD.”
Greg, putting on a Slade (or Quiet Riot but probably Slade) CD: “Boy, that was a close one. ‘come on, feel tha noise…”

Greg, as Josie skates in: “…did you step in something on the way over?”

Greg, as Mike sticks his ass in Greg’s direction: “…is it your birthday again???”

Once again, Ryan’s quirk is where the fun really starts, as his physicality and movements are 100% perfect, and the audience knows it.

Even better, as Ryan keeps doing these insane motions and noises, Greg sort of stands there, half-watching him go, and half-confused out of his mind. It’s not like a Tony ‘chuckle to meltdown’ type thing, but Greg is just bewildered.

Greg finally gets it when Clive gives it to him, to which he looks into Camera 1 and goes ‘…thank you.’

Overall: Lost momentum late, but in its highest point this show was absolutely insane, with some great performances from people I’d counted out, and great games from people I’d thought were going for ‘okay’. Josie, Ryan and Greg all had tremendously great shows, and all worked together really, really well. The edge goes to Greg Proops, though, for being a bright spot in all his games, hitting Clive all night, and narrowly edging out Josie for the show win.

Show Winners: Mike and Josie
Best Performer: Greg, for some hysterical and biting material all night.
Worst Performer: Mike McShane, who, aside from Duet, didn’t do a great deal all night.
Best Game: Funeral. Everyone shined, and everyone made me laugh
Worst Game: Helping Hands, for just not working as well as other playings have.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S06E01, or Are You Danish?

When BBC America began airing reruns of Whose Line, which is how I stumbled upon the UK series, their starting point was Series 6. You would not see any John Sessions, or Sandi Toksvig, or even Jim Sweeney, but Series 6 was a nice enough starting point, as you’d get a taste of Tony, Steve and Josie while also basking in the beginnings of the Colin & Ryan duo.

It works out, because Series 6 marked a change in Whose Line, now completely banking on its American influence, but also still emphasizing their British laurels. For instance, this series included 2 regulars, both of whom would only miss one episode: Ryan Stiles, and Tony Slattery. This would work well for the former and ultimately doom the latter, as Tony was beginning to fall victim to his bipolar disorder and drug use, and whose anxiety would be PARTICULARLY EVIDENT starting in this series.

Tonight features the immortal lineup of Tony, Steve, Colin and Ryan. This is the second of five shows with this lineup, matched only by a similar matchup, only swapping a profane, cheeky brit for a tall, suave primate enthusiast.

It’s also the first episode to include the famous ‘line drawing in front of a red background’ opening, arguably the more famous one.

Clive’s intros are Bond-themed. Colin is ‘from Canada with love.’ Ryan is ‘the man with the Golden Retriever’, which he gets a kick out of. Tony is ‘our very own Pussy Galore’.

Film and Theatre Styles v1: Ryan and Colin (skier and instructor)

Ryan starts the scene by nearly stabbing Colin with a ski-pole. God I love these two.

Ryan explains that they’re going to go down the slope.
Colin, in a simple read that makes me laugh hard: “waaaaait a minute.”

Colin: “Down the hill?”
Ryan: “Yes.”
Colin: “Is that really necessary?”
Ryan: “Easier than going up.”

Ryan and Colin in the Japanese style is hysterical, being even more curt and fast-paced, emitting slight grunts, and doing really great fighting motions as they go down the hill.

Clive: “Science fiction>”
Colin: “Why don’t we just stop here, earthling? I MEAN….”
He realize he doesn’t anything better, shrugs, and stops.

Colin ends the scene with the little alien thing on his head, keeping it there with the buzzer.
Clive: “Hitchcock.”
Ryan: “Don’t move…there’s a bird on your head.”

Film and Theatre Styles v2: Tony and Steve (dustmen sifting through rubbish)

Tony, picking something up: “Cor, have you seen somethin’ this size before?”
Steve: “I wasn’t pointing at that, I was pointing at THIS…”

Steve squeezes his hand, to say “IT’S STILL MOVING”
Tony, taking him literally: “Well, don’t do THAT to it, then…”

Disaster style
Tony: “…let’s run about for no reason!”

After 15 seconds of Tony and Steve doing goofy cartoon noises to each other, an exasperated Clive looks to the audience and sighs.

Steve, for the Busby Berkley style, says to Tony “we have to lie on the floor”, so Tony lies on top of Steve as the scene ends.

Surprisingly, Ryan and Colin’s gets the edge here, for doing more with the scene, and progressing more, despite some laughs in Tony and Steve’s.

Old Job New Job: Ryan and Tony are airline passengers. Steve, the steward, used to be a bus conductor

Ryan: “…how many Whose Line episodes can they SHOW on a two-hour flight?”
IS THAT A META-REFERENCE FROM THIS SHOW? We weren’t supposed to get those until the Drew Carey era.

Steve, outraged, to Tony: “WHERE DID YOU GET ON?”
after the applause dies down: “I GOT ME EYE ON YOU. YOU SHOULD HAVE GOT OFF IN BANGKOK.”

Steve, to Tony: “May I see your pass?”
Tony, confused: “My PASS?”
Steve, not helping: “Yeah, you heard me the first time…”

A really nice game, proving how great Steve was at this sort of character-work.

Changing Emotions: Ryan and Tony are losing players with their coach, Colin
Drink Bottle: paranoid
Towel: conceited
Bag: angry

The first of four game debuts in a row. This was a new game as of then, but one that’s been retooled, and made into an impression showcase for the US version.

Tony begins the game by rubbing himself with the towel, then going: “…my nipples are like chair legs.”

Then, when Colin enters, Tony goes ‘watch out, your eye might get poked.’

Tony, switching from the bottle to the bag: “Well, maybe, maybe it was me, maybe I shouldn’t have been on the team at all- OH YES, I BLOODY SHOULD!”

Tony, back with the towel: “Hey, I don’t need to be pushed up, by anybody…”

Ryan, landing the towel without anyone realizing: “Am I the only one not yelling?”

Colin, with the bottle: “That’s right, with last place there’s no one behind us” [looks behind him]

Very, very fun game, that would only get better as the series went on (“BEFORE I DIE…JUST GIVE ME ONE LAST SHAG!!”)

Questions Only: Front desk of a hotel

FINALLY this game is converted to a quick-fire round. FINALLY.

Steve, hesitating: “…isn’t this the Ramada?” [holds thumbs up to camera/audience]
Ryan: “Aren’t you Steve Foster?”
Steve: “…no, Steve Frost, you’ve got it completely wrong-” [Smiles as the buzzer goes off]

Ryan: “Smoking or non-smoking?”
Colin: “…what’s the difference?”
Ryan: [walks off]

Colin: “Where’d the other guy go?”

Ryan, after Tony’s buzzed out: “…REMEMBER ME?”

Ryan, looking over Colin’s ID: “…why aren;t you wearing any clothes?”
Colin: “Do you have to ask?”
Ryan: “How could something be that small?”
Colin: “have you heard of showering?”
Ryan: “Are you danish?”

Really, REALLY funny game, with all four getting moments to shine.

Fixed Expressions: In a barbershop as the circus comes to town
Steve: devastated
Ryan: shocked
Colin: happy
Tony: anxious

Screen Shot 2018-02-16 at 4.13.43 PM.png
[it’s not getting any better]

Screen Shot 2018-02-16 at 4.14.23 PM.png

The best part of this game is having the dialogue contrast with the expressions- Colin can say angry things while looking happy, Ryan can say optimistic things while shocked. Tony still opts to be anxious as well as look anxious, which does work really well for him.

Tony: “D’you know what the tickets are?”
Ryan, taking him literally: “Yeah, they’re those little paper things ya use to get in!”

Ryan: “Anybody care for a shot of the green stuff we keep the combs in?”
Tony: “yes, please!”


Narrate: Colin and Ryan are hunting

And, on top of all that, this game premieres as a Ryan-Colin showcase (after sort-of working for Jim and Steve), which is one of my favorites in the show’s history.

This one, unlike later UK playings of Narrate, does use the traditional, US film noir music track, rather than the old-fashioned one.

Colin, with one of his characteristically great opening lines about Ryan: “He was skinny as a post, and twice as thick.”

And then, Colin goes back for the jugular about Ryan: “He wasn’t a handsome man…he had a face like a collapsed lung…”

Ryan: “I knew that he was nervous. I’d seen that he had urinated not five minutes ago…”

Colin: “I could tell, by his doggy brown eyes, that he had a secret, a secret he didn’t want to share…because you don’t usually share secrets, otherwise they’re not secrets anymore…..my head hurt…”

The game does end prematurely, and the hatchet discourse took away from the strong barbs, but this was an impressive start to this game’s history.

Film Dub: Tony and Steve are surgeons waiting for the anesthetic to take effect

Steve: “All the buttons are missing off me shirt. Me tie’s gone as well.”
Tony, as the nurse: “Yes, I know, I find it rather attractive.”

The two characters have a long kiss, which Steve and Tony insert smacking and burping noises into.
Steve, afterwards: “Well, me tie’s not in there, then…”

Tony: “You’ve got a tongue that would take five gondolas to-”
Steve: “I know, I’ve been sniffing the anesthetic, I feel a bit bonkers, d’you know what I mean?”

Steve, checking his controls: “Wait…that’s Radio 4!”
Tony: “Yes, I know, I put Jimmy Young in the special isolation unit…”

Steve, going into the room: “I’ve got to, I’ve got-”
Tony: “NO, I WANT SEX!”

The clip ends with a shot of a rapidly enlarging finger, which Steve, with no choice, just goes “….OH MY GOD….”

A very funny Film Dub, with Tony and Steve working together well.

Party Quirks: Tony hosts
Steve: tabloid headline writer
Colin: hamster
Ryan: Attached to the door with elastic

Tony, as he stares at Clive during his intro: “…I want to be like Clive…”
Screen Shot 2018-02-16 at 4.31.18 PM.png
[I think that’s the first ‘Clive has no neck’ joke we’ve gotten. There’s gonna be hundreds more over the next few series, mostly coming from Greg Proops]

Steve, with a pretty great pun upon entering: “GOTCHA!”
Tony does get it in two lines, but Steve did sell the shit out of it.

He guesses Colin’s easily as well, but Ryan comes in and SELLS HIS PHYSICALITY, coming right back to the door after entry.

Tony goes through a few different guesses, while Ryan just keeps doing the same thing.
Tony: “…BLAST!”

Tony: “Ohhh, it’s this WIND that rushes through my party?”
Ryan: “IS IT?”
Tony: “….NO!”

Tony, upon hearing the quirk from Clive, drops his arms and smirks. Not at ‘OH, WELL FUCK OFF’ levels yet, but close.

Hoedown: Donkey riding

This would be the first of many problematic hoedowns for Steve, but he has a cheeky joke, still:
“I was riding my donkey, up a stony pass
I fell off….[smirk] onto the grass…”

Also, this one he actually ends pretty well, so…it’d get worse over time

Colin, for the first time in this particular game, cops out:
“I like to ride my donkey, I ride him all day long.
He is very very very very very strong.”
Then, not having another verse, he just smiles and nods for the remaining bars.

Tony, before his verse, audibly yelps in agony, which should say a lot about how much he enjoys this game.

Tony does land on his feet about filming ‘certain videos’ with this donkey, putting a capper on a frenzied but good Hoedown.

Overall: Incredibly solid all the way through, a sort of standard for this era of whose line. Both pairings had great showcases throughout the night, capitalizing on new games as well as reviving once-dire ones (Film Dub was better tonight as a two-piece game than it’s been in years), and letting ensemble pieces power the show. Ryan and Colin just barely rose above Steve and Tony in this one, with an emphasis on the goofy nature of Colin’s performance tonight. No games truly stood out as ‘landmarks’, but there was nothing terrible, which is expected with this crowd.

Show Winners: Colin and Ryan
Best Performer: Colin, for giving great performances even when surrounded by equally funny people.
Worst Performer: Steve Frost, just for being slightly-less put-together than the rest of the pack, though still doing great throughout the night.
Best Game: Questions Only, topping Changing Emotions just by having more consistent laughs.
Worst Game: Film and Theatre Styles v2, only by default, for being slightly less funny than the rest of the show.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E09, or I haven’t got a FIRST guess..

Onto the final show of this very short series of Whose Line, the compilation. Note that, according to the listing, no sign of Paul Merton, Steve Steen, Russell Fletcher, Steve Frost or Jim Sweeney, which is kind of sad, as I imagine we saw the best of E3 and E7 (which kinda makes sense seeing as those shows are fantastic).

Superheroes: World leaders have been in an Air Crash
Greg: Jelly Man
Ryan: Orangutan Boy
Tony: Male Model Guy
Colin: Continuous Unfunny Pun Man
From: E4

Clive, for the first of several times, twists an audience suggestion from nothing. When asked for a crisis, someone shouts out “Sun lowers its prices!”
Clive: “…and there was major in an air crash- World leaders in an air crash.”
Greg, as usual, does his “A-HAHAHAHAHAHA”-drops expression.

Clive: “Jelly man’s good, let’s go with Jelly Man.”
Greg, being a smartass: “You got a different jelly here.”
Clive: “Well, what d’you call it in America, then?”
Greg: ‘We call it jell-O.”
Clive: “Oh, then simultaneous translation there, in fact. Anytime I say Jelly, it means Jello, in America.”
Greg, in a moment of sheer genius: “…and anytime I say ‘Naff Git’, it means Clive Anderson!”
The audience applauds at this one.
Greg: “Thank you, I’ll be here the rest of the night. [motioning to the rest] These are my friends.”
Clive: “D’you wanna sit down now?”
Greg: “I’m pretty much done, yeah.”

Ryan, with the pun of the century: “Hello, Jelly Man, I see you’re set!”

Ryan nails Orangutan Boy, because it goes back to his way of easily replicating almost any animal perfectly. He can just break into the physicality.

Tony  jumping in: “I’m here, just in time…whoever the bloody hell I am…”

Colin’s means he has to come up with puns as often as he can, so there is obviously some lag
Greg: “look, the plane’s going down!”
Colin: “…darn.”
and then, finally: “Well, of course it’s going down, that’s PLANE to see!”

Screen Shot 2018-02-09 at 11.34.57 PM.png

Ryan, with one more good joke up his sleeve: “I’ve got to go, there’s a new Charlton Heston movie out…”

Very, very funny game, that was also as strong as the banter preceding it.

Whose Line: Ryan goes to private detective Colin because he suspects his wife is cheating on him
From: E1

Clive, in introing the game: “This is, um, obviously the game of the, uh, album.”
Ryan cracks up at this.

Clive has a lag where he forgets which game he’s introing, then gets into it and Ryan AND Colin look ASTONISHED as to what game they’re playing. Ryan tilts his head in amazement. Then, Clive realizes that he has to hand them lines, right as Ryan’s eyes are popping out.

Colin: “Your wife screwing around?”
Ryan: “How’d you know?”
Colin: “I’m a dick.”

Ryan: “I saw there, on the door: “Phil Blazer, detective….”Never put sticky tape on hairy places…”
Colin: “That’s my motto…I may change it because it doesn’t seem to bring in the people…”

Colin: “My, uh…mentor…”
Ryan: “JIM Blazer?”
Colin: “Right, he always used to say to me…’I hope you remember to take the cat out of the fridge.”
Ryan: “That’s important, I guess.”
Colin: “It is for the cat.”
Ryan: “Wonder if they ever put tape on ’em.”
Colin: “That’s…beside the point!”

Colin: “What does your wife look like?”
Ryan: “Well, she’s…tall…blonde hair, brown nose…”

Colin: “Well, I have to say something, because I am the man for you…”when did you learn to limbo dance?”
Ryan, as Clive buzzes, limbos suggestively.

Another funny Whose Line scene, owed to the Colin-Ryan duo.

Song Styles: Josie sings a love song about secateurs
From: E2

An alternate take.

Clive: “How about secateurs, that’s a nice easy rhyming thing, isn’t it?”
Screen Shot 2018-02-09 at 11.59.26 PM.png

Clive: “Garden shears, and/or secateurs. I’ll give you the choice.
Josie: “Thank you, Clive.”

Josie does eventually dig up a great rhyme: “I’m sick of you, and i’m sick of tears/secateurs.”

Very fun song, though not a career highlight for Josie.

Alphabet: Mike and Tony are two pilots landing a plane, beginning with Q
From: E7

Mike: “Quentin, can you open up the flats, we’re coming in pretty fast.”
Tony, without an option: “…right.”

This is a very silly scene, as both participants are close to losing it, but Tony narrowly avoids it with his X and Z choices.

Tony suddenly completely loses it: “BLOODY HELL! The petrol’s….falling out of the back of the plane!”

Tony: “….HELP! HELP!”
Mike: ” ‘In case of an emergency, scream real camp’ yeah, that’s gonna help.”

Tony: “JEANETTE! Quick- [loses it again] SERVE US SOME COFFEE!”

The scene ends right as Mike and Tony are about to die laughing, which makes this a very funny scene even if it wasn’t a good playing of the game.

Film Dub: Josie goes for a lead part in Ryan’s opera
From: E2

This is more of a well-done scene than a funny one, though Josie launching into a Cilla Black impression is definitely a highlight.
Ryan: “Welll….that’s not very good, is it?”

This game improved once Ryan’s character started taking his clothes off, and asked for lederhosen rubbed down with vasoline, so it at least took a strange turn, but still a lower-tier film dub.

Stand Sit Bend: Colin, Ryan and Tony are at the dentist’s office
From: E8

Colin and Tony have a moment pre-game where they’re both deciding who gets to lean, and neither can make up their mind. Colin takes it, but Tony cracks a bit.

Ryan: “It’s just your nurse looks a bit tense…”
Colin: “No, I just ate some bad garlic today..”

This game does feature quite a bit of ‘screwing over someone else’ type of humor, prescribing someone else to bend over, or telling someone else to explain, usually initiated by Ryan.

Plus, this is the kind of matchup that can switch positions uniformly, so the initial lag wears off quickly, and when Tony bends, Ryan stands, and then back again. It’s a well-oiled machine.

Of course, then, at the end, Tony sits down to make a point to Ryan, also sitting down. Colin, not knowing what to do, alternates rapidly between standing and bending until Ryan, FIVE SECONDS LATER, realizes he forgot to stand and completely cracks up.

Then, in retribution, Ryan keeps changing positions, standing to sitting to standing again to leaning, just to screw up the other players.

A fantastic SSB game, one that had more energy and comedic value to it than any one of these in a while.

Props: Ryan and Josie vs. Greg and Mike
From: E5

I think that Ryan and Josie’s prop may be one of the most ineffective ones ever given out on the show. From the moment they’re handed it, none of them know what to do with it.

Not a great Props round, but Mike and Greg had some nice ones.

Questions Only: Colin tries to buy a motorcycle from Ryan
From: E8

Ryan: “Is that who you are?”
Colin: “Am I catholic?”
HA. That’s a nice subversion of Colin’s usual rhetorical question.

Ryan hops on the motorcycle behind Colin
Colin, worried: “…what’s that?”
Ryan: “…haven’t you felt one of those before??’

Amusing, but not necessarily a highlight. These would get better once it became a quickfire round.

Party Quirks: Tony hosts
Greg: Jewish mother
Colin: thinks he’s a crab
Ryan: Olympic tobogganist
From: E1

Tony: “Well I’m expecting my party guests soon, but I can’t tear myself away from Good Morning with Anne and Nick!”

Tony, after Greg kvells about standing out in the cold: “…you miserable GIT, come on in…”

Colin’s crab motions, especially in grabbing food, are fantastic, and allow for some easy laughs right when he enters.

Ryan’s motions with Tony are pretty great, sitting him in the bobsled with him (‘HEY, DIP….CHIPS….DIP….CHIPS!”)
Tony: “…I don’t know who you are but it’s a lot of fun…”

Tony has no idea who Ryan is, even as he gives obvious clues, so Ryan just keeps saying things, like “I LOVE ICE…SLIPPING AND SLIDING ON ICE…”
Clive: “Come on, last guess, Tony…”
Tony: “I haven’t got a FIRST guess…”

Clive, putting Tony out of his misery: “I’ll give you Cardinal Richelieu, he’s an olympic tobogganist.”
Tony: [breaks]

Pretty fun round, even if Tony was losing it as it went on.

Bartender: Josie
Greg: Angry about being made redundant
Ryan: drinking to forget his wife
Mike: has bad breath
From: E5

Greg: “I’m a plastic surgeon/ it is the pits.
I just got fired for/cutting off too many tits.”

Josie’s return verse is pretty cute, ending with a suggestion to ‘come back to the bar and give me a facelift’.

The track for Ryan’s verse is a very Police/Smiths-esque alt-rock tune, and Ryan’s singing actually matches that, which is nice.

Ryan, getting the twist, recoils with the bottle of alcohol in hand.
Josie: “Your wife should have left you, that’s easy to see.
And I’ll tell you why, cause that wife was me.”
Absolutely fantastic verse, one that changes the meaning of Ryan’s, and should be a ton more remembered than it is.

Mike, getting his, with a smirk: “God, all these weight references, I’ve never heard them before…original material…”

Mike’s first bit is genius. He closes his mouth for the entire leadup, even to drink, and then right as his first verse starts (“..HHHHALITOSIS…”, he sharply turns in Josie’s direction. Josie’s already hiding her nose.

After Mike’s fantastic verse, directly in Josie’s face
Josie: “…well you ha-” [exhales]

Josie has a fantastic, elongated return verse, ending in the advice to ‘always keep your mouth shut’. Putting a capper on a really nice game of Bartender.

Best Performer: Ryan Stiles by a hair, but I easily could have picked Colin, Josie or Mike
Worst Performer: Tony, who had the most amount of flaws across the clips.
Best Game: Stand Sit Bend over Bartender, for being a bit more wholly funny.
Worst Game: Props. Not even close.


Best Episode: Episode 7. Possibly one of the best of the series, putting it up against S04E02. Everyone was on, every game mattered, every performer had moments that made me laugh, the series finally decided to embrace running gags, and Mike McShane took the reins of the show like it was 1991 again.
2nd Best Episode: Episode 3, the other Sweeney and Steen show, and one that soared thanks to the presence, one last time, of Paul Merton, having a great time after composing himself, and jelling well with Tony, especially during Film and Theatre Styles and an uproarious Party Quirks.
3rd Best Episode: Episode 5, the other Mike McShane show, and the one where everyone, including a vindicated Greg Proops, a stronger Josie Lawrence, and the show’s new staple Ryan Stiles, were on the exact same page, culminating in some great teamwork, some really fun moments, and a News Report playing that made me die laughing.
Worst Episode: Episode 6. Greg, Ryan, Colin and Josie couldn’t put it together, Superheroes notwithstanding.
Best Performer: Ryan Stiles, for continuing his reign on the UK series while still knowing when to act as a team player. Mike McShane was considered.
Worst Performer: Russell Fletcher, for being very ‘meh’ in his only appearance.
Most Improved: Greg Proops, who had never really excelled on the show very often before this series, now picking fights with Clive, establishing chemistry with Josie and Ryan, and having some funnier moments.
Performer We Wish Wasn’t Done After This Series: Paul Merton. He would have done so well working with Ryan, Colin and Steve.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E08, or …I think I’ll have a shower

Series 5 of Whose Line is its most compact, clocking in at only eight original, non-compilation episodes, one lower than the series that follows. The brevity works, but at the same time, as this has been a pretty solid and light-on-disasters series, it robs us of some more combinations of all of these people at their prime. We could have had a Ryan & Colin vs. Sweeney and Steen episode. We could have had Colin Mochrie work with Paul Merton. We could have had Steve Frost work with Greg Proops instead of Tony Slattery.

Instead, this is the last of the Series 5 shows, and it’s the first of five episodes featuring the classic lineup of Steve Frost, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles and Tony Slattery. It is, in hindsight, the closest thing we ever got to Colin and Ryan vs. Sweeney and Steen, because from here on out, Tony and Steve turn into a rather impressive comedy duo. This is Steve’s only appearance of the year, and one that would cement his status as a usable figure in the show’s future series.

Tony is wearing a fringed jacket that makes him look like someone off of Rawhide. The Doc Holliday jacket gets all the publicity but this one doesn’t??

Film and Theatre Styles: Ryan and Colin (galley slaves)

Clive asks for some American styles for Ryan and Colin
Audience Member: “NEIGHBOURS!”
Clive: “…Neighbours. That’s VERY American…still taking the o-level Geography, are you?”
(Russell Fletcher would be proud)

Clive: “Dougie Howser [looks at Ryan] I think we’d have an unfair advantage there.”
Ryan, the spitting image of Neil Patrick Harris, cracks, not knowing he’d have to endure these jokes for the rest of his career.

Clive: “School play”
Ryan: [feebly waves to someone in the audience]
Colin: [giggles, and whispers to Ryan]

Clive: “Somebody suggested Neighbours, why don’t you do AMERICAN Soap Opera”
Colin: “I think I’m pregnant.”
Ryan: “…came a little close to the oar, didn’t you?…After all, this ship is FULL of seamen, you should have known better.
Screen Shot 2018-02-09 at 3.56.36 PM.png

It ends with a very silly ‘chase movie’ scene, with Colin and Ryan chasing each other with galley pieces. Good enough scene, though, with enough fun touches.

Film and Theatre Styles v2: Tony and Steve (fairground rifle range)

Clive: “…unfunny commercials?”
Tony: “Oh, I’ve done quite a few of those…”

Tony comes in bobbing like a child.
Steve: “How old are ya?”
Tony: “…I’m 42…”

Tony and Steve’s ‘kitchen sink drama’ is a prelude to their Eastenders round from a season or so later, with overlapping dialogue and flaring tempers, culminating in Tony grabbing a gun.

Tony, holding up Steve: “Yeah, who’s in charge now? You, and your grown up…pants?”
Steve hides his crack-up at that.

Clive: “Horror.”
Screen Shot 2018-02-09 at 4.03.42 PM.png

Steve: “Notice the way the blood is drippling- DRIPPLING? Would you like some gin?”

Tony: “That teddy is beginning to move in a weeeeeird way.”
Steve: “Look, it’s driving the dodgems by itself now!”

Steve: “Not since that flash in the sky while you were asleep last night.”
Tony: “Yes, which was…filmed very cheaply, in a quarry…”

Tony, gesticulating towards Steve’s chest
Tony: “JANET, DON’T! You’re a woman, and-”
Steve, noticing where Tony’s hands are: “…well take your hands off me tits then…”
Tony and Steve are gone.

Funnier than Ryan and Colin’s, solely because the scene went on with more sophisticated jokes and less moving around obviously.

Old Job New Job: Colin buys drugs from Ryan, joined later by Steve, ex-greengrocer

Colin somehow nails the jittery, neurotic nature of someone buying drugs perfectly.

Ryan: “What are you looking for?”
Colin, still shaking uncontrollably: “…downers.”

Steve spends the whole scene shouting, which is an amusing contrast.


Ryan: “Wait a minute, you can’t give stuff away for free, this-”
Steve: “Oy…push off, bruv, this is my patch.”

Really well done, amusing scene, with great work by everyone.

Whose Line: Colin and Ryan are at a school reunion.

Ryan: “YOU HAVE! You’ve, uh, gained a lot of weight and lost a lot of hhh….top…”
Colin, nodding, used to it, “…yeah…”

Colin: “Last time I saw [my ex-wife], she was hanging onto the back of the milk truck saying “take it to the bridge, Mr. Brown, and someone will be along shortly.”

Ryan: “I mean, in your yearbook, under your picture, it said… “quick, let’s rub noses like the eskimos do!” Did you ever get up there, to Alaska?”
Colin: “Yeah, I went up there for 5 years…well, two weeks, their time.”

The last bit is hysterical, because Ryan and Colin attempt singing a song in one voice, which, as you know, never ends well. They end up going with strained, barely-coherent words, the last line, which is ‘a dead duck will never fly backwards’, and finishing off together. A very amusing ending.

I’d put this below a few of the other Whose Lines, as this one was meant to be quicker and we didn’t get a full scene, but it was funny enough.

World’s Worst: Person to be a weather forecaster

Tony: “Hello, my name’s Michael Fish.”
Ryan, stoner voice: “Word is there’s some acid rain headed in over the weekend..”
Steve: “And if the piece of string mooooves….IT’S-A GONNA BE WINDY…”
Colin: “Well, let’s check with the weather snake [beats down]…it’s COLD out there…”
Ryan: “Word is things will be heating up over the weekend, much like that BITCH WHO TOOK ME FOR EVERYTHING I HAD!”

Nice enough round.

Props: Ryan and Colin vs. Steve and Tony

Screen Shot 2018-02-09 at 4.24.39 PM.pngColin: “…would you like a cup of tea?”

Screen Shot 2018-02-09 at 4.25.17 PM.pngRyan: “What d’you mean ‘what kind of shark am I?'”
That took me a moment, but very impressive

Screen Shot 2018-02-09 at 4.26.37 PM.pngSteve: “…Pinocchio, it’s gone wrong!”
THAT made me laugh.

Very nice Props round, with the edge going to Colin and Ryan

Song Titles: Ryan, Colin and Steve (in a restaurant)

Colin, as a waiter: “Yes, we have no bananas.”
Steve: “Ah, I heard it through the grapevine.”

Colin, looking at the table: “Where have all the flowers gone??? ANGIE!”
[Ryan comes back in]
Ryan: “Oklahoma.”

Funnier than the last one by far, but definitely operated at a stop-start function.

Film Dub: Tony does a new VO track for an advert on shampoo

This is the single greatest Film Dub of all time. I’m not sure if I can give it justice here, but I’ll try.

Tony, going off a waterfall which dissolves to a mermaid abruptly: “Imagine the freshness of a -OH HELLO, IT’S A WOMAN!”

Screen Shot 2018-02-09 at 4.32.27 PM.pngTony, on the verge of laughing: “Do you want your entire family…to smell of haddock? Well…you…I’m sorry, a bird’s just dumped on my head.”

The rest of the ad goes on, with Tony haphazardly trying to incorporate the random words into the pitch, before cutting back to the woman.
Tony: “Yes, that haddock smell lingers.”

The ad then cuts to a split-screen of two different cups, for a compare/contrast thing. Tony just goes right to work
Tony: “For instance we took…these liquids. One, from an unknown passerby [pause for audience laughter] and the other from the seeea. What’s the difference? One smells of a dirty old man. The other? Smells….OF FISH!”
[That entire excerpt will never not make me laugh. Especially the way he says ‘OF *FISH*”

The last shot is of the woman taking a sniff of something, and smiling.

That was a golden achievement from Tony, who made every second of what could have been a thankless film dub (like the GLEEN one from 5×02) absolutely hysterical. One of my favorites to this day.

Superheroes: probe heading toward Uranus
Colin: Suction man
Ryan: leg-humping man
Steve: erotic film director guy
Tony: Royal Procession Commentator Man

Obviously the audience laughs at the crisis suggestion.
Colin: [scrubs out his eyes]
Clive: “…you’ve been working on that, haven’t you?”

Clive, describing the crisis to Colin: “A spaceflight is going out of control near Uranus.”
Screen Shot 2018-02-09 at 4.39.41 PM.png

Clive, after Colin’s superhero name suggestion: “I, uh, hope the suction doesn’t get anywhere near Uranus, but…”

Colin, reading the world crisis monitor: “OH MY GOD, THERE’S A PROBE HEADING FOR A BLACK HOLE!”
Colin: “OH, NO, IT’S URANUS!”
[I laughed HARD at that one]

Ryan bounds in, attaching RIGHT TO COLIN, confused

The first few seconds of Ryan’s quirk is hysterical, because the force of Ryan’s leg-humping just sends Colin bobbing along with him, and there’s this great shot of Ryan and Colin swaying slightly back and forth together.

Sure enough, Colin adds more and more suction to Ryan as it goes on.

Steve comes in and starts directing Colin and Ryan
Steve: “…lick your lips.”
Nobody caught that, but I did.

Tony, upon getting his: “And, as we move…towards Uranus, we can see…”

Steve is about to say an exiting line, but Ryan’s still humping him, so he freezes, panics, and cracks up. Ryan just looks desperate as he does.

After Steve exits

Colin, after everyone’s left and the hysteria has lifted: “….I think I’ll have a shower.”

That was an incredible Superheroes game, as everyone was insanely funny, there were several great moments of physicality, and Colin and Ryan alone just cracked me up the entire time.

Helping Hands: Tony learns about wine tasting from Ryan (ft. Colin’s hands)

Ryan: “Bonjour my friend, or as we say in France….’HELLOOOOO…”

After the ceremonial putting-on of the berets, Tony strikes at Ryan first: “I hear there’s this wonderful trick you do, where you put an entire brie in your mouth.”
Ryan takes his moment to recover. This used to be what he’d do with Tony in Expert, so he’s finally on the receiving end.

Tony: “yes, hurry up.”

Ryan, in putting the brie down, knocks over some bottles.
Ryan: “Oh, I have become intoxicated by the CHEESE KNOWN…AS BRIE.”

Ryan: “Would you like a little wine? ‘HOW COME IIIIII DON’T GET TO GO TO MIAMI?” There, a little whine, d’you like that?”

Tony: “It’s white, you blind twit!”

And then, Tony, realizing there’s still time to screw with Ryan: “I’d love to see…THE BRIE TRICK AGAIN!”
The audience even applauds.

Then, for the last beat of the scene, Ryan throws the brie in his mouth while also pouring wine on it. Clive must have buzzed because he’d seen enough.

A really nice helping Hands, with great Ryan work, and Tony finally fighting back and screwing with Ryan.

Overall: A show that got way better as it went on, with some fantastic work from everyone, and the last-third that did not let up in terms of humor. Obviously the two brands of humor were better when they mixed, as the F&TS rounds exposed how different their humor was, but everything after, especially after a middling 2nd act, was golden, from a top-tier Film Dub from Tony, to an uproarious Superheroes from everyone, and finishing off with a pretty great Helping Hands. Yes, it did take a bit to get to the good stuff, but the mood was pretty electric all night, with some short spurts in Old Job New Job and Props teasing us for what’d come. The workflow was pretty even, though Ryan narrowly edged out Steve and Colin with some great work all night, and a great performance in Helping Hands. Meanwhile, this episode marks the beginning of Tony’s descent into addiction, as he was noticeably less put-together, and cracked up slightly more often than usual, though that didn’t detract from his abilities in Helping Hands and Film Dub. He was still very funny, but his patience was beginning to wane.

Show Winner: Colin
Best Performer: Ryan, once again giving the best performances this series.
Worst Performer: Tony, for being quieter and less put-together than the other 3.
Best Game: Superheroes. Top-to-bottom hysterical
Worst Game: Song Titles, by default.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E07, or Come Again?

Another turning point. This is the last Sweeney & Steen episode, and the penultimate Ryanless Whose Line. Sweeney and Steen were supposed to keep the uK reign of the show going, but now they’ll be bowing out as the show focuses more on Ryan and Tony. This one also features Tony Slattery and Mike McShane, a truly magical combination.

This is one of the last chances for the so-called old-guard of WL to take over, and seeing as the last time we had a show like that it was the best of the season, it’s a wise idea to do it again.

Scenes from a Hat:

Clive: “Now, the MORE WE DO…the more…we will have done, now..”

“Things the stewardesses should really tell you about safety features…”
Screen Shot 2018-02-07 at 2.52.33 PM.png
Jim: “Now, if the plane goes down, kiss THIS goodbye…”

Clive: “The worst job in the world.”
Mike: “I’m here to buff Clive’s head.”

Clive: “Olympic sports we’d like to see.”
Steve:Screen Shot 2018-02-07 at 2.54.41 PM.png
Screen Shot 2018-02-07 at 2.54.12 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-02-07 at 2.54.50 PM.png


Clive: “I, uh…I think Humping the Tony is in it already.”
Mike: “Ya oughta see the SYNCHRONIZED HUMPING THE TONY…”

Clive: “A Kiss-o-gram with bad news.”
Screen Shot 2018-02-07 at 2.58.07 PM.png

Clive: “There’s no such thing as a free lunch.”
Tony, without a better idea, to Jim: “…that’ll be two pounds fifty, please…”

Clive: “What you didn’t expect to find at the end of the rainbow.”

A fantastic round to start the show with, as the energy is already electric, and people are going for silliness right off the bat.

Film and Theatre Styles: Mike and Tony (desert island castaways)

Audience member: “EL DORADO!”
Clive: “…we’re doing amateur dramatics already.”

Tony: “…I spy…”
Mike: [begins nibbling on Tony’s fingers]

Tony: “This is hopeless. We must build a fire!”
Mike: “WITH WHAT??? WE HAVE PLENTY OF THINGS TO PUT A FIRE *OUT* WITH! BUT WE HAVE NOTHING TO BUILD A FIRE WITH! I’M buck naked, YOU’RE buck naked, the TREE’S gone, the dog’s been eaten, we have SAND. A BIG…LUMP…OF SAND.”
Tony, knowing his place: “….oooOoOoOoOoOoOOOOHHH!”

Tony: “There is lots of sand here, yes, that’s because it’s a crappy film set.
Mike: “If we dig deep enough, we may find some talent, but I don’t know.”

Science Fiction:
Mike: “In fact, I fear we may begin mutating.”
Tony stands up, and there’s a PFF sound.
Mike: “You’re mutating already, sir!”
Tony: “I’m sorry about that. Play some of that music and I’ll walk up to the camera, weirdly”
Screen Shot 2018-02-07 at 3.10.13 PM.png

A pretty fun game, even if it lost the plot a bit in the middle. The Slattery-McShane combo is at a high already.

Authors: A Day in the Life of a Nursery School
Jim: Lewis Carroll
Steve: Jackie Collins
Tony: TV ads for the Sun
Mike: Dr. Seuss

THE LAST EVER AUTHORS. A game that was a staple of the show for 2 seasons, finally dying out with the Ryan/Colin era.

Jim: “It was a perfectly normal friday, but somehow she felt a bit stoned. “Don’t bogart that joint, bitch” said the big caterpillar in the corner…pass the dutchie on the left hand side.”

Steve, as Jackie Collins, describes the empowered, female caterpillar, “her proud breasts standing out like pink grapefruits…”

A really fantastic game of this. At least they ended on a good note, where everybody could actually continue the story without being selfish, or without being John Sessions.

Song Styles: Mike sings a Busby Berkley song about soap

Mike: “i’ve got that bar in my hand again.
I’ve got that bar, and I’m gonna lather up, my friend.”
And we have liftoff.

This is a really nice song by Mike, with some cute lyrics and really nice melodic work by both him and Richard. It’s incredibly silly and passionate, and you can tell that Mike’s enjoying the hell out of it.

World’s Worst: Person to be auditioning for Hamlet

Jim: “i mean, because basically he’s a man on the edge, isn’t he?….I KNOW HOW HE FEELS…”
Steve: ‘See, my contract with Eldorado is just fineeshed….”
Tony: “…Tobe…or not tobe?”
Steve, doing an accurate John Major impression: “To be or not to be, that’s a good question, a FAIR QUESTION, AND ONE I INTEND TO DEAL WITH…”

Bad start, but it picked up as it went along.

Props: Jim and Tony vs. Mike and Steve

Screen Shot 2018-02-07 at 3.22.55 PM.pngTony: “ALRIGHT…I’m not a natural brunette…”

Screen Shot 2018-02-07 at 3.23.58 PM.pngSteve: “….YES…YES…I WILL FERTILIZE THE EGG!”

Tony: “Hello, and welcome to the not-terribly-convincing torture chamber. GET DOWN! [hits feebly with prop]”

Screen Shot 2018-02-07 at 3.25.32 PM.png
Steve: “Hello, I’m an extra on Doctor Who.”

Screen Shot 2018-02-07 at 3.25.37 PM.pngMike: “Hello, I’m an extra on Eldorado. THEY’RE DESPERATE.”

Fantastic round of props, and you can tell, because Tony and Steve are still laughing as they head back to the seats.

Scene to Music: Steve waits for Jim, his secretary

This is the last Sweeney & Steen scene in regulation, and proof that the producers were phasing them out, as they did Meskimen and Smith, for not matching up to Colin and Ryan.

The music is, again, very film-noiry, so Steve turns it into another game of Narrate. Why not just do Narrate again?

Jim: “Is it me or is it hot in here? [aside] It wasn’t me, it was hot in here, the building was on fire.”
Steve: “Yeah, it was hot, she was a walking sauna, and I was ready to sit down on her bench…”

A very fun scene, better than their last Scene to Music.

Party Quirks: Tony hosts
Steve: Beethoven
Jim: In love with the carpet
Mike: Confederate soldier

Tony: “Yes, the party is ready, and the theme of this party is 60s dance crazes [flails wildly]”

Tony: “Hello, Steve, come on in.”
Steve: “PARDON??”

Jim, the second he enters, nails his:
Screen Shot 2018-02-07 at 3.34.28 PM.png
For obvious reasons, they didn’t trust Jim with physicality too often, but he nails it here, going above and beyond.

Jim: “How could you just stand there?”
Tony: “…you’re not Eleanor Bron, are you?”

This is one of those party quirks where everyone comes in and Tony writhes around trying to guess everyone, and he’s beginning to get more unhinged with it. Obviously what he’d be dealing with in Series’ 6 and 7 was controllable here, but he’s growing more manic, especially in guessing everyone when they’re all just going at it.

Tony does nail everyone’s, especially an energetic Steve performance, which he jumps up and down when he finally gets. The audience even hits fever pitch when he guesses Steve.

Great game, just crazy enough to be controllable.

Clive: “The yelps of pleasure were worth waiting for…as they often are with Tony.”

Bartender: Mike
Steve: Angry about constipation
Jim: trying to forget his impotence
Tony: in love with the barman

A very Scottish voice shouts out ‘CUNSTIPEESHUN.”
Clive: “That was a good suggestion, or possibly a cry for help.”

Steve’s verse is good, but, possibly thanks to his character choice, it’s not sung as much as it is talked. Mike does save it, though, going “I don’t wanna see you get any meaner, so here, take this vacuum cleaner.”

The same scotsman, for Jim, yells out ‘IMPOTENCE!’
Screen Shot 2018-02-07 at 3.43.23 PM.png

Jim’s first line, above fun, funky guitar music, is “I’ve got a problem that’s making me sick.”
Everyone knows what’s coming, no pun intended, and cracks up prematurely.
Still, instead of subverting the expectation, like people usually do in singing games, he goes for it: “Frankly, I’ve got a useless dick.”

Mike starts with the obvious joke: “COME AGAIN? I’m sorry, let me rephrase that…”
Screen Shot 2018-02-07 at 3.45.42 PM.png

Mike: “I take those problems seriously.
Lack of orgasms can make you deliriously…..upset.”

Mike finishes off his verse with ‘here’s a stiff one, that’ll do.”

AND THEN WE GET TO TONY’S. Which may be one of the best musical moments of this entire series.

Tony, completely won over by Mike, starts with the immortal line of:
“I’m the bacon…and you’re my chips.
i’d like to shipwreck in those…standy-out nips.”
Note that he cracks up at that one, though he sells it.
And he ends with “If you weren’t a big butch man, I’d ask you to be my wife.”

If Tony’s wasn’t heartfelt enough, Mike has what’s basically an aria, going into great melodic notes and really selling the mutuality of the situation…and then…he takes everything off the bar counter, and goes “You see through me, then do me…RIGHT HERE!”
Screen Shot 2018-02-07 at 3.50.09 PM.png
Screen Shot 2018-02-07 at 3.50.38 PM.png

What I love about this, in least in particular, is that this is one of the first times you can see the people at the seats absolutely losing it with laughter. Jim and Steve absolutely break down once Mike throws himself on the table, and start applauding and laughing as the scene ends. I don’t think a game had gotten a fellow-improviser reaction up to that point.

Still, the capper on a fantastic game of Bartender.

Overall: Not just the best of the series so far, but possibly one for the pantheon. I mean it when I say that almost every game was not only a success, but a hysterical highlight. Everyone was giving their all, even Steve Steen, usually the limp noodle of the panel, who was giving big character performances all night tonight. Mike McShane, like in E5, performed like no time had passed, and Jim Sweeney did his usual ensemble work, while Tony allowed himself, yet again, to the funnier moments of the night. The number of memorable moments from this show is a nice one- from the Humping the Tony, to all the Eldorado slams, to Steve as Beethoven, to Tony mounting Mike during Bartender. And oddly enough, those moments don’t define or overpower the show. It’s a very well-rounded, very even episode of four WL legends giving their best material. How could that not be a 10/10 show?

Show Winners: Steve and Tony
Best Performer: Mike McShane, for being a fantastic moral center for the show, and providing the most memorable moments
Worst Performer: Jim Sweeney, oddly enough, for being outdone by his comedy partner in the number of breakthrough moments in scenes.
Best Game: Bartender. How can I not?
Worst Game: World’s Worst, just for its slow start
Best Runner: Eldorado Slams (we had 5).